my partner and i have been together for just over a year, and in almost every area our relationship is perfect. Unfortunately we have very different sex drives. I have a high sex drive and my partner doesnt. as a result the amount of sex we have has gradually decreased over the past 6 months.
Its got to the point now where i feel guilty for wanting to have sex at all. my partner works long hours and does alot around the house, and as a result is very tired. we live with his 5 year old as well which adds another dimension to the problem!!!
I just dont know what to do anymore. i feel like i am constantly compromising my wants. i find that i feel very insecure and frustrated as well as rejected if i make a move on him and he is too tired. how do i deal with these feelings, is there anything i can do to either reduce my own sex drive or to increase my boyfriends? im getting desperate!!!
2006-09-24 20:22:35 · 16 answers · asked by a.n.other 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Very sad story. Do not get frustrated. You try your best to bring him to the mood. Though you say you both do not have any problem there may be something hidden in him at least. You should not pick up any quarrels with him and act as he wants in all respect so that he feels you are with him for everything. In the bed also try to talk to him a lot other than sex and attract him towards you. Donot asking directly to have sex. Step by Step indulge him and wait for the opportunity like an insect falling in the spider's web.
If you do this the enjoyment is yours.
Best of luck
2006-09-24 20:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is relax him. Find time that you two can spend together. Then talk to him and explain that you have needs, but be sensitive. Don't just tell him "you need more sex" than him, or it might hurt his feelings. Make him understand that you love him and that you want "sex" with HIM, not just anybody. When people, especially men are stressed and have a lot to deal with, it can get difficult to have a sex drive at all. You'll find that when he's more relaxed (perhaps get someone to babysit his kid too), he'll be more focused on you. Also, why not try dressing up seductively too? Woo him. Reallyt turn him on (but don't do it in an obvious way to start with). A nice, long body massage will relax him and hoepfully get him in the mood. Its something you need to sort out, as you're needs are stronger than his and you may end up doing something you'll regret otherwise. Good luck
2006-09-24 20:29:36 · answer #2 · answered by Charlie Brigante 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you think that is bad be glad that you haven't married him yet. My first husband always had a headache and we were married for a long time. He never changed and this caused many problems in our marriage and I was never happy although I loved him very much. I know how you feel. All the porn, sexy night gowns, vitamins, pills, and so on does not work on some of these guys. Especially the ones that have some deep rooted sexual problems. If I was you I would not marry this guy. Especially if you are young. I would get out now.
2006-09-24 21:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should sit him down and tell him exactly how you are feeling. Also i would try helping him out as much as you can so he has less to do when he gets home and he's not too stressed. When he comes in from work you should try giving him a massage then things might lead on from there. Hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-25 02:42:53 · answer #4 · answered by Volvic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the man!! Tell him what you just told all of us, that you feel that you are compromising your needs and wants. If the two of you can't come up with a solution, then I suggest a really good vibrator.
2006-09-24 20:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by up2sumpthun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wheat Germ and wheat germ oil always added fuel to my furnace. Rice bran oil may help too.
Check for passion products on swansonvitamins.com
They have a lot of products to help people with this sort of difficulty.
Watching sexy movies can be a BIG turn on also.
Good luck!
2006-09-24 22:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mad Roy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you a girl or a guy? part of it might be guilt with his kid around, you help more with the house, try to be decent about it, after all he sounds like he would be worn out. either try to hit a happy medium with him or leave. you can always whack off you know.
2006-09-24 20:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, some people do go to see the sex therapist and take your partner with you and talk with him about it and take it from there. I guess..
2006-09-24 20:27:26 · answer #8 · answered by Oww 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you go exercise and eat properly, you will trim fat off your body. if you have low body fat, you will be more attractive to men. if you are more attractive to men, you will entice them to have sex much more easily. seriously, it sounds mean, but a woman that is in good shape is the best aphrodesiac for a man. if you get yourself down to a size 4 and he's still disinterested, dump him. you'll find you're getting enough attention from other men that you can go out with a better guy that will give you more than enough sex.
2006-09-24 20:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by johnny m 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
My husband is the same way...I get some when he first get home so if anything goes lacking...it ain't none of me.
2006-09-24 20:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by smokkie29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋