what to do??

Question

i'm posting this in the teen section because i would like teen answers.
how would you feel?
what would be most comfortable for you?

However, i would also appreciate parental opinions.


my situation:
last night i overheard my daughter writing a song about rape.
and about her being molested by her brother's friend.
what do i do?
i need answers.

well, my daughter is a very closed person. She doesn't talk to me about anything. She was even embarrased to tell me she got her first period. I don't have that bond i guess others have with their daughters. my daughter is 14, and i'm guessing this happened close to 6 years ago, and the boy was are 7 years older, so considering they were both minors at the time, can i still press charges?

Answer 1

Well this must have about given you a heart attack. I'm really sorry to hear that. As a teenager and a parent, and a rape victim I hope I can help. Being raped affects women one of two ways. The either are scared of people and terrified of men. Or they think that they deserved it, and they are easy, so they start to act like it. They become very promiscuous. This was the path that I chose. My mother had no idea, and I wish now that I could have told her, but like I said I thought is was my fault. And I thought I would be in trouble for having sex. So I kept it to myself. In you situation you overheard her writing a song about something very privet. So you will want to be careful not to say that you heard it. My advice, although it may be hard is to have a "sex" talk with her. Reassure her that she can talk to you about ANYTHING! Without being obvious of course. Make her feel that you are her most caring FRIEND and she can confide in you. Maybe ease things by telling her something is your sexual history (without grossing her out) to make her feel more comfortable, like it's just girl talk. Also it's horrible to think, but especially with TV now teenagers have imaginations still and she may have just been creating drama in her head. I know that sounds offal, because who would say or think something like that if it wasn't true? But don't rule it out as a possibility. I hope she is alright, and good luck. Be strong.

Yes you should be alble to press charges, but sadly, there is no proof anymore. And 6 years is probably past the statue of limitations and it may be too late. But that doesn't mean it's too late to be there for her.

Answer 2

I urge you to get legal advice about whether or not your are still able to press charges, this is pretty serious. Obviously this is something that haunts your daughter to this day, so I can understand (as a teen) your desire for her to talk to you about this. You can't force your daughter to start an openly communicative relationship with you right away. It might be awkward for both of you at first, but try to spend some one on one time with her every day if you can. Ask her questions about her day, classes, friends and life. Hopefully as time goes on, she'll be more comfortable to tell you more, even without you asking. It's a process, but give it time. Also, don't bring up the rape too often if necessary, until she's ready to talk about it. But encourage her to continue to use songwriting as an outlet. The last thing you can do for your daughter is take her to a counsellor. I've never been to one personally, but it sounds like it would be really helpful. Best of luck

Answer 3

Seeing as how a 16 or 18 year old got a 10 year old girl pregant about 10 years back and nothing happened to him I doubt pressing charges would have an effect.

Sounds like she's dealing with it herself. She's expressing her rage, outrage and anger and in a construtive form.

Kids sometimes do the same thing about parents who are alcholics or violent.

It's how they deal with it.

Keeping it inside is far worse.

Maybe it will be a hit song and she'll become a new femminist force to contend with in the world.

She's probably talked with her closest friends about it, but I doubt she'll talk with you do to the age difference and your reaction, which will only make her situation worse.

The best thing you can do is watch over her and love her.

Answer 4

TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTER about it, why be shy?? If you can't talk to her about it then who will??Your the parent and you have every right to be concerned.

It doesn't matter what kind of bond you had or didn't have in the past. As a good parent you owe it to your daughter to start asking questions.. There is no one else that can bring this up but you. it is your duty. If she doesn't want to talk to you, maybe she will talk to a therapist, or counseller, or some one she can trust. but you need to set it up for her. As for pressing charges worry about that later!!

Answer 5

1st of all if your daughter got molested then talk to her if shes mad at you that's her problem and who knows if that fools doing it to some one else 2nd u can press charges but i wouldent recomend it it would be very embarrising but all the evedince is defiantly gone by now so u wouldn't get any where with it but hopefully if he did do it to someone else they will come out and tell

hope this helps good luck
peace Chris

Answer 6

TALK TO HER. Don't scare her though. Let her know it isn't her fault if something happened. Let her know she will not be in trouble. You cannot delay this. If this is going on with her, you need to start asking questions and stop it right away. Find out who is doing it and press charges. If you love her, you will talk to her as soon as possible. Don't wait.

Answer 7

first let her know you love and support her no matter what. then if she doesn't want to talk to you about it, maybe you can get her into speak to a professional. she may be able to open up to someone who has no "connection" to the family

Answer 8

talk to your daughter she may have felt to embarrassed to tell you or may have been threatened...

been there wish i would've said something to my parents.. but was to afraid they'd say it was my fault...

never told them its heavy burden to carry around...

Answer 9

no you cant press charges its been to long and there is no proof it would just be he said she said