My boyfriend and I have religious clash! Help please!?

Question

My boyfriend and I are in a long-term relationship and we definitely love each other. We have a problem though- he is hindi and I am christian. His mother recently found out that we had been dating for a really long time and is obviously angry. My question are the 2: 1)Has anybody been in similar shoes as me? If so, how did you deal with it? I would like to hear your story, 2)For those who cannot relate to me but have advice... How should we raise our kids and what should be do about the religion/race factor?

He is brown & hindi, I am asian & christian. Thanks :)

Answer 1

The only thing that matters is the two of you - it's not about anybody else but you!
Best thing is to be careful about being too judgemental about each other according to your beliefs - patience really is a virtue!

Answer 2

Religion shouldn't be a factor when it comes to whether two people love each other or when it comes to your children.

Your children will be measuring how you two love each other, not what Religious Faith you're practicing.

You two should teach your children the way you normally would. The only thing is that if there's ever a disagreement do to the deviancy in religion, don't argue in front of the child. Do it behind closed doors.

Besides, how do you know it won't be better for your child because he or she will be a hybrid that will have the opportunity to take the best of both religions.

As for the mother of your boyfriend, it's none of her concern. You're dating the boyfriend not his mother. The same thing goes for your boyfriend. He's dating you, not his mother.

While she can have her own opinions, her role in raising her child (your boyfriend) has already come to pass and she should trust that she raised her son as best she could. It's now time for your son to live his own life not the life that his mother wants him to live.

Answer 3

First of all Iwant to ask that will ur bf be on ur side even if his mother disagrees. If this happens and ur bf doesn't have any problem with ur religion, then it doesnot matters if he is hindu and u christian. Next about raising your kids, Is it so difficult to raise your childrens only due to the difference in your religion. Every religion is same, the difference is the way is imparts the knowledge. In fact I think it will better for ur children to get the prevelige to know teo great religions. When there is love nothing matters.

Answer 4

Sorry ma'am but his folks will not allow the marriage. Unless you intend to elope forget a marriage blessed by his folks. And if I know the Hindi he'll walk away when the family tell him to. Pray that he is different. Hindi's follow the caste system. I truly wish you the best.

Answer 5

Religion should never come inbetween love. I guess love bridges religions by recognising the distinction between but not trying to change anything... it is just content to act as a bridge.

Make sense to you? My advise really is to leave religion out of this. In a sense religion is not much different from his other personality qwerks... like maybe he only showers before sleeping but not in the morning... little things like dat. It's not a must change issue here right? Same case.

I think for me and my ex, we were both not too focused on it. I was firm on keeping my faith and for her Buddhism more accomodating. Plus her dad was also Catholic before turning to Buddhism, so we never had an issue on religion.

Answer 6

it would be very difficult for both of you because love, great as it may seem, cannot conquer everything. that includes religion. your families will have a hard time being peaceful to each other. assuming that they are open-mined people, still, the principles and basic foundations of your religion will be clashing. now, it's between the two of you and your families. in the future, it will be you against your husband. think of the pros and cons.

Answer 7

Havnt been in the same situation sorry, but i am christian to and this is how i would suggest you raise your kids, let your kids have their own opinion, educate them on both religions and let them decide, they have to be happy with what they choose or they will fall away from all religion, good luck

Answer 8

I just finished reading an article on Ann Meara and Jerry Stiller online. I put in my browser "stiller & meara marriage" and was brought to a link called "CNN Stiller & Meara, the golden years." They are very successful actors and have been married for more than 50 years. She is Catholic and Jerry is Jewish. She said nobody was happy about their marriage except the two of them. And it lasted all that time.

You need to do what's in your heart and if it's meant to be, you can have as happy a marriage as Stiller & Meara. Good luck.

Answer 9

I've been married almost a year now, my husband and I have been living together for about 3 yrs........

I am a Christian, who is very into religion, My husband is a complete Athiest, he hates religion, Christianity and wants nothing to do with it..... can't stand even hearing about it.........

This is a tricky question...... it's something you need to take alot of thought and prayers into........ there are two verses in the bible that talk about this...... one is

2 Corinthians 6:14: "Do not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and lawlessness have in common? What fellowship has light with darkness?"

at the same time there is another verse, saying

"For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy."
--1 Corinthians, Chapter 7, Verse 14

in a relationship where one is christian and the other is not, there are bound to be hardships, and you'll need to be plenty ready to face them, i face them on a day to day basis, you need to decide if you are ready for that...... when the bible talks about the first verse, righteousness and lawlessness, how can light live with darkness, i don't see it as "Forbidding" it , i dont think god would forbid this relationship, but i think it's a warning to us, a warning of the struggles in that type of relationship...

there is a chance if the relationship was meant for you, that it will work out, there are people who have been married for 30 or more years with a non-christian, and one day after 28 yrs, they changed, having a relationship with a non-believer gives you the chance to witness to them, and might give you a chance to teach them and help them understand one day......

if you were to have kids, this is something that you will have to talk about, you need to make your bounderies known, and some things you will, or will not tolerate, especially with kids.....

for example, as a Christian, it is very important to me , more than anything, that i can teach my children about jesus, and bring them up learning the bible, and the love of god etc....... i told my husband early, that if we were to ever to marry, or even get too serious, i wanted him to know and understand/agree to this, he agreed, saying i was the mother i can raise them how i want, but not to expect him to say prayers with them or go to church with us, and he just didnt want them to go to a christian school etc......

this was something i was okay with, and it was settled, but since he was an athiest, he didnt have a strong view on how else they should be raised, if yours is of a different religion it might be harder , he might want to raise them to his religion, it is going to be something that you will need to really think about...

There is a book I read, that literally became a life saver for me, it's called "How to be the Happy Wife of an Unsaved Husband" if you were to ever get married, or take things to a higher level, i reccomend you look at this book, it will talk about the majority of issues you will have, and give you advice/encouragement on this...

I'm rambling a bit much here, but just remember to pray about this, and even talk it over with him, find out where you two stand, what you can and cannot accept,

i love my husband very much, and do not regret our marriage one bit, he is very important to me, and though we have our hard times, (More often than not) we love eachother very much...... yet still things get very hard...... he doesnt get along well with my family, as they are all strong religious people, very emotional at that, and so at times i feel like i'm caught between them, i love family and i love my husband, we probably will never have those big family get togethers on my side, so i have to spend time with them individually,
we disagree on alot of other things, on people and society, my husband can hold a grudge, takes things for what they are, always the logical approach, and doesnt understand about compassion,forgiveness too well........
then there are small things, that might seem small but later on i realized how much they meant to me, like listening to christian music, or having a painting of jesus on the wall, or that "Warm cozy christian atmosphere" feeling that seemed to fill my parents house when i lived there, that seemed to be non-existant when we got married and moved into our place.......

but yeah, pray, think, and talk about it, it can work out and you two can have a wonderful life, just be prepared for the things you will have to deal with

Answer 10

Gads, are you kids asking for trouble! Not a happy situation and could get worse unless you decide to move away from the families.