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We have a 5 year old daughter , her dad left and has a new family of his own a "son" and a 20 year old wife (he is 40) ..

I have been told many " tales" on why he don't see her or talk to her , from his walmart job keeps him busy to he drinks to much soda and falls asleep while driving ..

My daughter deserves to have a relationship with her father and she just cries when she asks to talk to him and he says I am busy with my son ..

How can I help her heart not ache so much ???

Thanks for you suggestions in advance

2006-09-24 19:39:02 · 11 answers · asked by twistedsingle 4 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

11 answers

Sorry to say this, but it never stops hurting. My father left me. All you can do is be there for her. Tell her you love her all the time. That's all. sorry.

2006-09-24 19:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by Devon M 4 · 4 1

Don't talk about her Dad in front of your child. There is no use bringing it up to a child this age. This will only make her feel sad that her Dad don't come to see her. This may cause some serious emotional problems. If he won't see her then leave it alone. I would seriously take her Dad to court and get help with child support money for her. Maybe at some point you will remarry and she will have a step-dad who will appreciate her. As she gets older she will understand. She may have to go to counseling.

2006-09-24 19:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 1 0

Count your blessings and let him get out of her life. Don't mention him, don't try to force them together. She will eventually get used to the idea that your family is a family of 2. Yes, she deserves a positive male influence in her life, but that's not it.

I thought the way you did about my daughter deserving to know her dad, but he turned out to be as bad a father as he was a husband and broke her heart more that way. I eventually had to fight to get full custody because of the emotional abuse he was causing her all because he would rather get even with me than actually be a father. Those wounds don't heal.

Don't worry about anyone's feelings, just do what is best for your child. You're all she has to protect her right now and she doesn't need to be treated second rate by a man who's not man enough to be a father.

2006-09-24 19:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by dbackbarb 4 · 1 1

There really is no way to heal the hurt she's feeling about her father. This bond cannot be re-created. This is a very unfortunate situation and I'm really sorry to hear about what's going on.

What you can do is get your daughter involved in new activities. Granted, at events she will be reminded that her father isn't there, but by having her involved in many things, her self-confidence will remain balanced.

To have a parent abandon or disregard you is impossible to understand as adults and virtually impossible for children to grasp. Continue to shower her with love. Let her know that she is a worthy and loved child. Try to boost her relationship with as many family members as possible. Good luck.

2006-09-24 19:45:24 · answer #4 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 2 1

if you have to ,,lie through your pearly whites about why he doesnt see her,,make up something,anything,no matter how painful it is for you,,she has to think daddy still loves her but just cant see her at the minute,,for a child to think or be told why dad really doesnt come could be terrible for her self esteme and she will only blame herself,,as far as she is concerned,dad has broken his leg in africa and he did call but ran out of cash for the phone box,,she needs to know nothing of the truth and he may yet sort his sorry self out so to tell her the truth wont help her or him,,they are going to be father and daughter for a long time and if he doesnt come round,,,sooner or later she will be old enought to learn what really happened.she has you and she needs no more at this time,yes he is a pig but that doesnt mean she needs to know.

2006-09-24 20:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by lex 5 · 1 0

The first thing you do is explain to her that her "father's" behavior is not her fault. She needs to know that she did not do anything wrong. What I told my child was simply this; "Your father does not know how much joy he is missing out on not having you in his life and one day he will regret it plus it is his loss not taking the time to know you." If need be also tell her that She will one day have the chance to let him know how it made her feel to be treated the way he treated her. All he is doing is making her hate him. (Which is not good for her) Next time she asks to call her "father" do whatever you can to get her attention on ANYTHING else.

2006-09-24 19:51:15 · answer #6 · answered by anita_reel 3 · 1 1

If he has court docket ordered visitation then you definately could enable them to pass. i be responsive to that is hard. I actual have been there. i be responsive to that as quickly as they get the right age in the event that they decline to pass, whether the police are called out they gained't do something at that factor by way of fact the youngster is refusing to pass, that is no longer the parent. the biggest ingredient is you could no longer coach your babies. additionally, i got here across that for the period of spite of the indisputable fact that it grew to become into extra durable than maximum individuals can think of, I made a factor of on no account asserting something undesirable to my babies approximately their father and that they have grown up and discovered what a bum he's on their own. they actually do paintings it out interior the tip. My babies are older childrens now and that they love me a great deal and that they have expressed their by way of me for being an mind-blowing mom to them on quite a few occassions. They by making use of their own decision do unlike their father and how he has dealt with them via the years. they chosen to no longer see him and to be truthful even nevertheless he's no longer an mind-blowing dad in any sense of the be conscious, i actual difficulty approximately them no longer seeing him. I purely choose them to be emotionally ok. My ex husband hasn't paid his toddler help in some years. i've got no longer long previous after him for it by way of fact he made my babies go through lots for having to pay it interior the 1st place. I raised my babies by making use of myself without help. It grew to become into difficult yet emotionally they are extra effective for it. It wasn't ordinary for me, have faith me. I actual have incredibly large young ones. they are chuffed and life is quite sturdy. once you're able to vent approximately your ex, communicate on your loved ones and close friends, yet shield your babies you would be so chuffed you probably did interior the tip and their happiness and love for you will make all of it incredibly worth it. superb of success to you.

2016-10-01 08:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by wardwell 4 · 0 0

Take your daughter to Walmart where he works and cause a scene. Call him out in front of everyone. Ask him to tell your daughter to her face why he is avoiding her. Get loud and demand that he explain why he does not love her anymore.

Now, they may call the police for you but unless you get wacko, nothing bad will happen. Make sure everyone he works with hears it (especially all the women). I assure you that he will be pulled aside and "talked to" about bringing his personal life to work. In addition, all the people he works with will now know that he's a piece of puppy poo and not the "cool guy" they thought he was. Sometimes you have to go 51/50 for a bit to make your point!

Good luck.

2006-09-24 19:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by GVD 5 · 1 4

Maybe put a man in her lifwe that can be a father figure, every litlle girl needs a daddy, even if itsd just one of your close friends or someone that you can marry, just give her a male figure in her life. i no i do anyway, goodluck and i hope you find the right answer, your little girl needs a father figure,

2006-09-24 19:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by Boots 2 · 1 2

either talk to ur husband but doesnt seems he bother abt ur daughter or u find a man in ur life who'll be ready to give both u and ur child love.i think the option is best.

2006-09-24 19:45:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

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