How do i stop being shy and insecure about myself?

Question

im a sophmore in highschool and during my freshman year made a lot of friends but during the summer i went through a lot with my friends making things difficult. If someone who didnt know me and i was one of my classes had to describe me they would say the girl that doesnt say anything, bites her nails, and turns red really quickly. I hate how i am very shy because i miss out on becoming close to people and the think is all my best friends are really really popular but out of all of them im the shyest and the most insecure. i know i have some really cool traits and im really funny but thats only when im really really close to someone, and my friends call me cute. i feel like it bothers me more becuase all my friends are social to the point they know everyone and im always like "just there". how do i become more confident and social.

Answer 1

:) the more u work on urself, the better u will feel. *trust me*.

so having said that, work on:

1) your appearance: work out. exercise. take care of ur body. take care of ur skin. get new haircut. try on new clothes. buy Flattering, stylish clothes, make u feel good and look good.

2) your mind: study. read more. learn more about current events. find a hobby, and excel at it. the more u KNOW, the easier it will be for you to develop your own ways of thinking, as well as be able to TALK w/ others about it.

3) your relationships: as u build ur confidence in urself, and keep in mind to be Open Minded, Non Judgemental to others..... u will be able to speak out more, talk to ur friends, family members, practice talking about anything and everything u are learning, or find out what they are interested in. the more u practice, the easier it will be for u to do that with Strangers, or friends of friends, and not feel as shy...because remember, 1 & 2, u are already working on ur appearance and your brain, so u don't have as much to be "scared" about.

:) good luck...the more Positive attitude u have (remember, u can Always change something if u make a mistake, u can learn from it, u can always grow, and do something different tomorrow), the more opportunity u will have in ur life. confidence will lead to easier job interviews, class discussions, making friends, getting to know teachers, etc etc.... huge impact on ur life. but getting over ur shyness is the first step, and working on ur confidence will help u become less shy.

Answer 2

You know, I was not too different initially in high school. I would say the best cure for such a dilemma is to get involved in some extracurricular activities if you're not already. It's a great way to start friendships and come out of your shell because you'll be in a group of people who share similar interests already (depending on the activity). But also understand that your voice is valuable. What you have to say is valuable. Don't think for one second that it isn't. And you don't have to be exactly like your other friends. What's the fun in that? Share your unique perspective whenever possible. Confidence, for all, is fleeting throughout the course of your life. Day to day, it is almost guaranteed that everyone has highs and lows and doesn't feel so great about being themself. It's part of life. Embrace it. I got involved in theatre, newspaper, class activities, everything really by senior year. Get involved. You really do have control over this. Just speak up and be yourself and eventually find that it becomes easy. And by the way, to this day I still bite my nails.

Answer 3

When i was still in high school i was also known as a person that was shy and quiet. But i have learned so much every single day that i live, not only from being in school but from life experiences. I have found that being popular is highly OVERRATED! The people that you think are popular are really unhappy (some are happy but most of them you can't tell). Being a "social butterfly" is all fine and good but at the end of the day you find that you have met people that will talk about you the second you turn to walk away and you can't really trust people. *I have learned that it doesn't really matter how many people you know, it matters who you REALLY know and who you really don't know. If your friends know everyone, then ask them to introduce you sometimes to new people and don't just allow yourself to fall into the background or the conversations.
*My advice to you would be to meet new people - popular or unpopular - and really make some time to sit down (one on one) and talk to them. Hold conversations with them and get to know who they are, because when you start to know people and form bonds with them you start to trust them. And when you trust a person and start a true friendship with them then you get over being shy about things, and you start to not care about embarassing yourself sometimes or saying the wrong things because friends help you to laugh those types of things off and move on with your life. Also, high school is about making memories and laughing with friends because they say those are the best years of your life. So don't sweat the small stuff and try to have as much fun as you can.

Answer 4

confidence is an inner thing. people can tell automatically if you're not confident. you're right.
you said yourelf that you are funny and cute and have cool traits. dwell on that for a while. you are worth talking to. you have interesting things to say. you have absolutely no reason to be afraid to make friends. i spent the majority of high school being ridiculously shy. i learned my senior year that it was a lot more fun if you got to know people. i had to force myself to start conversations at first. but over time it becomes more natural. you dont even think about it. you just comment on something mutual. compliments are a great way to start a conversation. like "i love your shirt! whered you get it?" it opens for a conversation with someone you dont know very well.
and smile. you cant not like someone whos smiling at you. so definitely smile.

Answer 5

You're focusing too much on your responses to people. Focus your mind on the content of what people are saying. The reality is that everyone is too concerned with themselves to waste energy criticizing other people in their minds. Don't worry about what others think just focus on the process of communication and you'll get better over time.

And stop labelling yourself as shy. It has a way of feeding itself. Don't give yourself excuses.

BTW . . . I have the same problem and I am a lot older than you.

Answer 6

Build your confidence through activities. Join clubs and sports and work out. Don't look to your friends for confirmation. Accept who you are by finding out what you are capable of. Much of shyness is being self-conscious. Stop thinking of yourself. Focus on others. Lend a helping hand. Smile at someone you don't know because they may need a friend. When you think of others first, your shyness will fade away.

Answer 7

Sometimes it's easiest to just be a listener especially when you're around people who like to talk. Try to relax. Sometimes when I meet new people I find it helps to pretend that we're already cool friends and there's nothing to be afraid of. It makes it easier.

Answer 8

i have the same problem too..especially to the boys...it's really helping when you try slowly to get close to them... i'm in my first year in the university...it's hard when you can't communicate with other people(especially guys for me).. I always push my self to get involve in activities and meet more people...if you don't improve it now, you will faced the same thing again later..just like me...in my highschool i always stay away from people except all my families,but when i came to university the enviroment is totally diffrent.. i have to communicate to them no matter what happen.. i hope it's helping you ( '', )

Answer 9

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Answer 10

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