A few months ago a friend of mine must leave their house because they couldn’t afford to pay the rent. The husband asked me to borrow him money to rent a another house, but I made a decision that they would be better off living with me as I was living alone, also in a rented house. And I made a trade: I would support the family with my income and they would help me manage the house, cooking, and washing (including mine). I do think that the money I gave them is quite enough to live a decent living as I myself is not a rich man. So if they need more money, they must manage it by themselves. At first, they do it happily, but now I can feel that they do it half-heartedly.
About this family:
Back then:
The husband just loose his job for a month. The wife worked as a night shift waitress (still working up until now), with a minimum wage, and could not support the family fully. They have a 4 years old daughter, a 2 years old son, and a 1 year old daughter. The youngest daughter lived with their parents in another city.
Now (about 4 months later):
Their condition is more or less still the same. The husband still out of work and the wife still work as a waitress with minimum wage and stil cannot support the family fully.
Recent events:
About a week ago I protested them for buying electronics (a TV set and a Tape recorder), as I do think that they should prioritize more important needs, and they ought to remember that they still could not support themselves. I also asked the husband several times about when he would find a job as it was already five months he was out of job. I didn’t receive a satisfying answer.
2006-09-24 18:19:42 · 5 answers · asked by agus 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I also hit their children a few times as they are very naughty. I have told them not to be naughty for quite many times but they won’t listen so I must hit them, but I never hit them at any place else but their buttocks. Moreover, I also notice that they often hit their children quite heavily in the head and sometimes with a kitchen knife (using the flat side of the blade). That is very dangerous! I often protested them about the way they rise their children.
Yesterday, I hit the daughter at her buttocks for playing with a mosquito repellant (which must be burned) because its dangerous and they could get burned. Seeing this, the wife expressed her anger and just went out and haven’t comback again when I leave the house for work. I stayed a tmy office that night and haven’t been back to my house. The husband expressed his unhappiness to me and I told him that their way of rising children is just not right.
2006-09-24 18:20:50 · update #1
Now, I feel that I should let them go or at least must stop my support for them, but I don’t have the heart to do that as I understand very well about their condition. I have talked to them about these matters several times but I don't see any result or changes.
What should I do?
2006-09-24 18:21:12 · update #2
i would sit both of them down again and tell tem if you do not get a job i will have to give you 30 days to get out.Tough love i had the same thing happen tome and i did the thing 30 days and you wrer out and they are back on therir feet in a rented house and are planning on buying a house in the next year
2006-09-24 18:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by dee d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only so much a person can do for people that obviously care nothing about helping themselves. I would report the abuse to children services, apply to evict them out of the house as they have had five months or more to help themselves get out of the rut they were in before you helped them. There time of mooching is up. Find someone to help that is willing to help themselves and return the favor someday. Don't let this bad case stop you from helping someone else. I commend you wholeheartedly in what you tried to do.
2006-09-25 01:30:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a GOOD SAMARITAN. GOD will surely reward you.
Try to tell the husband to look for a job. I am sure there are lots of vacancies there. Surf the internet for him, then accompany him. As for the children, try to psychologize the kids. We are fully aware that we also have our limits. But do you think the parents will not feel sad for what you've done to the children? So as not to reach the point of breaking your friendship with this kind of situation, help them to find a place in the sun. GOD will show you the way.
2006-09-25 01:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by Mutya P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A.I'd say it's about time they move about, but still.
B. YOU CANNOT,EVER HIT THEIR CHILDREN.
Being they aren't yours, someone, including them, could file it as child abuse.
Get them out, don't touch the kids.
-Melly
2006-09-25 01:25:35 · answer #4 · answered by nickisthesex96 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop supporting them there lots of help out there
2006-09-25 02:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by josh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋