2006-09-24 18:13:00 · 14 answers · asked by question 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Noone can do it but her, give her time to adjust. It may take years, it may be never. This is her decision alone, u can not push it and can not make it just happen.
Gee, is this a force, or a choice?
She still loves her Mommy and noone is going to take her place.
Leave her alone and let her come forward.
2006-09-24 18:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by kay w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what ever you do dont push it on her. Its hard for a 13 year old to accept that the 2 people she loves will not be together. And dont forget to spend time with just her and do the things shes likes and when you spend that time dont talk about the girlfriend unless she brings it up. Besides do you plan to marry this woman cause if your not try not to bring her around so much why put her in the middle. She could end up getting close to her and then you break up and where would that leave your daughter?
2006-09-25 01:21:28 · answer #2 · answered by angelofhell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By talking with her, respecting her fear that you are trying to replace her mother and assuring her you never would, out of respect for HER mother. Also, reassure her you do not intend to deprive her of quality time with her father. Resentment is often born of fear and/or jealousy so don't try to buddy-up to her. Make her feel important by acknowledging her presence and engaging in conversation (i.e., how was your day, that color looks very nice on you) and be sincere.
Arrange some time for just the two of you to do "girly" stuff (mani-pedi, shopping, take her to a concert in her city featuring her fav celebrity, etc.). Listen! Listen! Listen! Hear what she says and what she doesn't say. Don't push her to accept you. Let her take the time she needs to feel comfortable around you.
If you are the young girl's father, all the above still applies as far as talking with her and showing respect for her thoughts and opinions on the matter.
Be prepared that she just does not like Dad's new girlfriend and never will.
Good luck
2006-09-25 01:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by niteowl716 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't push, you allow her to start a relationship with her in her own time. The girlfriend must act like a friend, not an authority figure. All discipline must come from the father and not the girlfriend. As long as she doesn't push and is friendly and open to starting a relationship with this child, it will eventually happen. Just don't push, time has a way of working things out for the best.
2006-09-25 01:19:48 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, lets hope he picked a girlfriend that would get along with his daughter. Preparing her in advance for coming changes is very important.
If he hasnt done that then he needs to do it if the girlfriend is going to be a lasting figure in their lives. Letting the daughter and gf spend alone time together and such. Its an ongoing process to knowing someone. You cant just expect them to like each other right away...you could hope, but, there are baby steps to any good relationship. Work at it and communicate and spend time together. ;)
2006-09-25 01:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont let her adjust on her own. i am a product of two step moms and of course they had to be girlfriends first, the only thing you can do is say you only have to respect her you dont have to like her this is dads decision and not yours just give me that respect. i was first 9 and then 17 when my father had his second girlfriend turned wife. when i was 9 i automatically liked her cause it seemed it made my dad happy and with him happy we were able to come visit him. when i was 17 it didnt really matter to me.
2006-09-25 01:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was apart from the wife and had a girl friend..I didn't push my kids i let time take it's own coarse...going out for a bite to eat
and 13 yr old girls love shopping...jeans and cd's are a good start
finding out her favorite tunes..
Good luck
2006-09-25 01:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on the situation...if her mother just recently died-i'd wait it out before dating someone else. if the father (sorry but gotta be real) ****** up and thats what lead to the divorce...prepare for a long wait and please dont make your girlfriend her new mother right away-she'll just hate her more (think about it-if someone you hardly knew was telling you what tod o, you'd be mad too)...i hope you atleast sat down with her though and asked her feelings on the matter.
2006-09-25 01:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by ellie_2121 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shopping and Time. Time and Shopping. 13 year olds love to shop.
2006-09-25 01:15:19 · answer #9 · answered by stormie a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Conversations.
2006-09-25 01:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by yahooanswers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋