My girlfriend is lying to me about a guy she was sleeping with while we were together and separated, she contends that she is not interested in him anymore, and wants to be together again, I know she hasn't talked to him on the phone atleast because i have examined her phone bill but they work together, we have two kids together and I would like us to be together and be happy, will I ever trust her again and should i be willing to trust her again.
2006-09-24 17:46:26 · 18 answers · asked by brtjr2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't really understand what she is lying to you about? I mean, are you drilling her with questions about him and she isn't wanting to answer them? It would seem pretty obvious why someone would lie to someone they love about someone they were with when they were separated...the answer is, she doesn't want to hurt you. You already know that she was with someone else, why should she have to say anymore about it. If you feel that uncomfortable with her working with him, then she should probably get a transfer somewhere, or change jobs, or maybe ya'll should go to therapy. In fact, you should go to therapy because I doubt the reason ya'll separated in the first place has been resolved. The worst thing you can do though is act crazy jealous or accuse her of doing things. She will get tired of that real quick.
2006-09-24 17:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to find the trust to stay together, or you'll never be able to make it. That's hard with them working together.
You haven't made clear why you think she is lying, unless you have good reason I'd try towards the trust until you know for sure. You have no reason not to trust her otherwise. I wouldn't believe a bunch of gossip. I don't know, hire a private detective if it's going to bother you that much. You're going to drive yourself crazy and your family apart. What's bad if what if she's lying and you're just being jealous over a past relationship. Trust plays a major part in a relationship, and if you don't have that you'll end up driving the relationship apart. I hope the kids aren't hearing all this between you either. You have to think of them.
2006-09-24 18:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by one_sahara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't have a ring on her finger, so you don't own her. You were separated from her for a time. She went her way, you went yours. She was not your wife, so you had no say in what she said, did, or felt. Did you sleep with anyone while you were separated?
If you really want this relationship to work, you need to give her the opportunity to be trustworthy. If you constantly needle her about every little thing, then you are sabotaging yourself and your future. If you want to have a future with this woman, why not marry her? If you don't want a trusting future with this woman, then break all ties with her (except for when you have to see her because of your children). Make a clean break of it if necessary.
2006-09-24 18:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Bastet's kitten 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did she lie about sleeping with him? if she slept with him while you were seperated and now it's over, then what's not to trust? If she lying about sleeping with him, then yeah, it may be harder to trust her.
I'd say do it for the kids, learn to work things out. You never know, maybe by seeing this other guy, she saw how good she had it. Give it a shot, at least for the kids.
2006-09-24 17:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by Mike C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was cheating on you while you were together AND while you were separated, why do you want to get back with her? If she works with him, they do not need the phone to talk and make plans.Personally, I would not trust her especially if she may have done this before. Has she? One last note, be cautious if she comes up pregnant again!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-24 17:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by geri11066 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should be concerned. No you shouldn't trust her again, at least for a few years until she has proven her worth. When she has done that, then you can think about trusting her again. When she can prove to you that she isn't cheating or lieing to you, then you could consider it.
Since you have two (2) kids try to be civil with her for their sake. Hope this helps.
2006-09-24 18:07:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jarod R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would not precisely sound like a experience made in heaven as out of your description she does sound somewhat overdramatic. i'd say in case you want to maintain the relationship for a couple of minutes longer then do not tell her as she would (from information presented) overreact and an undertaking would happen. you've already informed her you've not and in case you admit the reality you admit that lie which will possibly reason issues in itself yet would nicely be extra ideal on your psychological well being. the very reality you do not favor to shop lieing seems that you've made a decision already and are seeking for validation. You look unhappy contained in the relationship and to be truthful if it somewhat is the case it would probable be extra ideal for both one in each of you to ultimately call it an afternoon and flow on.
2016-11-23 20:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by mehboob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to burst your bubble but people have ways of talking to one another other than a phone. and you said they work together? my cousin did the same thing to het boyfriend and she is still sleeping with the guy that she works with.(not that your girl is). but her boyfriend has no clue that she is still doing it. and she is very careful not to call him on her cell phone because he checked and recorded her calls from their home. thats sick to check a phone bill. you know that right? why would u want to live like that? if you have to do all that the relationship is pretty jacked up. you deserve better... hopefully you have enough self esteem to say enough is enough. good luck
2006-09-24 17:56:01 · answer #8 · answered by apple martini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have kids together so u arent divorcing so obviously u should try and make it work. u got to think for ur kids how hard that would be if u were separated. make her realize that cuz family is what should be there in the long run rather than some measely fling.
2006-09-24 17:48:54 · answer #9 · answered by djtek19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first thing first you have to have trust. second if you guys were seperated that a whole different thing. third if you want to work it out with her then go for it. only you know the answer to that ok. but you have to work on that trust thing and you guys need to get help. anyway good luck
2006-09-24 17:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by Melda R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋