Ex wife contacted me after a painful divorce, acting sweet & asking about me. What could this mean?

Question

Just wanted your opinion..

My wife & I went through a painful divorce that she insisted on, and been seperated since March. We havent contacted since the divorce in June, as I was extremly angry & preferred not to have contact.

Recently I called her dad asking him to return money he owes me, & hes asking me to wait some more, while I have no time since Im leaving town. We argued on the phone, & I told him how ungrateful he was for all favours Ive done since the day I met his daughter, & he was just worried I might cause a problem regarding the money.

The very next day ex wife calls me. She said she called coz she heard I was leaving town, & wanted to wish me good luck. She was talking nicely and sounded sweet, & we kept talking for almost 1/2 hour. She mentioned problem regarding her work computer, & I offered to come over and repair it, & she agreed.

Is she acting like this coz her dad maybe asked her to so that I can stay off his back for sometime? Or is there any other meaning?

I personally dont believe that my ex wife is the type to use me in my point of weakness since I lover her to bits, but I still dont understand this situation. I never thought she would ever call me one day to wish me good luck or anything because of the way she walked out on the marriage, and therfore I find this rather odd of her calling me all of a sudden. Just would like to know if theres any divorced women out there who ever thought twice about thier divorce, even if they were totally convinced and insisting on the divorce at the time? Would you use the same approach or anything similar?

Answer 1

Speaking as a divorced woman I would say that you would have to ask her what is going on and as you had stated in your question.... ask her if she is being kind due to her father and the money.
Also, as a remarried divorced woman I can relate to my husband x-wife missing him. She walked out on him. She wants what she cant' have anymore.
Only you can answer the question as to her sincerity because you know her the best. I, myself would tell you... If she left you for no good reason.... then let the door remain shut.....My husband's x left for another man. I could never dream as to why she would do this because he is a wonderful man. Take care of yourself and trust your instinct. Keep in mind that she burned you once, most likely this will happen again.

Answer 2

I'm guessing she left you for another guy (or whatever) and recently got dumped and now is insecure and has nobody to run to so she's all over you with innocence thinking you'll feel sorry for her (cause she knows you still have feelings for her) and take her back. Don't be her puppet and let her control you. Forget her (hopefully no kids are involved), forget the money owed, and start your new life elsewear. If you let her keep in touch, she will just drag you down that much more. If you have it in you to rub it in their face, call the dad back, calmly apologize for arguing with him and bid him farewell. It'll really make him wonder what you are up to, just don't tell him ANYTHING! Then get yourself outta town knowing you made a mistake, learned from it and had the strength to get on with life (even if it takes a little extra time) and forget that part of your past. Trust me, I had it happen to me and I'm so much happier now and at peace 3 yrs later!! Good Luck!

Answer 3

My bother went through something similar THANK GOD SHE IS OUT OF HIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!! She was controlling of him!!! He was not allowed to contact our mom or I unless she "gave" him permission to!!!!! He was always miserable. She cheated on him and everything else lied about being pregnant!!!!!!!! This is to give you an idea about her!!!!!!!!!! Well she called I'm sorry you was the best thing I ever had I screwed up and all that stuff, but what it actually came down to is that the guy she was cheating on him with left her!!!!!!!!!!! and she didn't want to be alone!!!!!!!!!! I think your ex is up to something. You need to follow your first instinct which is to stay away. Now about her dad and your money give him in notice how much he actually owes you along with a certain date that is reasonable for him to have you your money, and tell him in the letter if not paid by that date then you will take him to court !!!! Have it notarized keep a copy of it for your records and send him a copy certified mail so it has to be signed for. After the date then you can take legal action against him if you wish to. Yes man your ex would use your feelings for her to help out her dad!!!!!!!!!! The other option is to call her dad back and apologize to him for the argument you two had tell him to keep the money and you wish him and his family the best and good luck to them say bye then hang up. Then you leave like you planned and don't contact them again!!!! And if bye some chance you run into any of them be as nice as you can without hurting yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This will really bother them that they screwed over such a good guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

This reminds me of a couple I know. She was sweet to him whenever it looked like he was moving on with his life. I think she likes the idea of him pining away for her after she walked out. She didn't have a firm grasp on reality. She would act like they were still good friends, despite the contrary truth. It was like she was putting on a show for everyone to see. He would always react like deer in headlights.

Also, you might consider that she feels guilty about her dumping you, and is looking for vindication. After all, if you leave town still angry at her, she can't convince herself that she made the right decision and all is well. It leaves a big bitter loose end.

I think you should keep some perspective. The money has nothing to do with the break-up. Dad would still owe it back to you even if you were still happily married. You didn't marry the woman as a favour to the dad, so don't hold that over his head.

Are you looking for her to want you back? Don't play the fool.

Answer 5

Never been divorced, however I believe you are correct in your assessment of the situation. She called and is acting "sweet" to get you to lay off of her Dad...taking advantage of the fact that you may still have feelings for her. You've already cut the ties and unless Dad owes you a heck of a lot of money, I'd leave it lie and run in the other direction. Move on with your life and stop worrying about what your ex's intentions may or may not be.

Answer 6

OMG.....take the loss and walk away. She may have had other feelings going there, but the story you just told says she is protecting her Dad. Unless you want to hurt this whole situation more, walk away. Is the money more important or did you finally give in and call her Dad because you wanted to talk to her. You had to know on some level Dad would call the daughter raving.........so around and around it goes. If you are having "feelings" again, maybe you should reconsider moving. Do you want to step back into this? weigh the pros and cons. It sounds like you took a big blow in this divorce, and that is the primary word. Divorce = separate. Can you trust her with your heart again?

Answer 7

Does the word "oblivious" mean anything to you? Or her?
You need to pick up your stuff, get in the freakin' car, and NEVER, EVER look back. Don't pass "Go", do not worry about the money. You will regret every minute you spend trying to understand what you did wrong, because you probably did nothing wrong except live. You're a nice guy. Try to stay that way. You won't if you put yourself into that situation any more. Go, man, just go.

Answer 8

We don't know your wife's character so we can't tell you what her motives are. You just need to keep your eyes open and really use your head and not your heart. It sounds like you are still in love with her and maybe she's just offering friendship. Just sit down with her and ask her if she possibly thinks she made a mistake and wants to try and be friend and one day maybe more. If that is what you want. as far as dad, you keep pushing the issue of your payback. Good luck.

Answer 9

She very well could be acting like this to get you off of her Dad's back. Don't go over & repair her computer unless you want to rekindle a relationship or start a friendship with her. My guess is she's getting your mind off the money or she's lonely. Deside if you possible would want her back or not - if so, be cautious, if not, keep contact to a minimum.

Answer 10

I've never been married but I am good with helping people with there problems , shes a female theres a motive otherwise she would not have divorced you and not to mention how convenient that she calls you up after you talked to her dad asking for money. Don't be blind dude spare yourself some hurt feelings and say f.u