My husband and I had a fight. When he tried to leave I tried to stop him physically. He left anyway and moved back with his parents. We have a little gir that is 16 months old. He wants a divorce because I had done it in the past. I am now getting help with my problems and he said that it is to late. I really do love him and I don't want to loose him. We have talked and he told me that he doesn't love me anymore. I don't think that he has though. How can I make him see that I am changing not just for him but for me. He wont try marriage counseling because he has given me too many chances already. Is there anything else I could do? Please help me any advice would help. I am completely lost without him.
2006-09-24 15:42:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anna L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally, I think he owes the marriage a chance with counseling.
Maybe you have messed up mightily and often. If you are truly getting help, he may just hold you up in your progress toward emotional health if he cannot come to terms with this new you you're working toward.
I'm betting that your counselor is suggesting you work on yourself first. Probably the wisest thing. If he does give you another chance and you mess up, you will lose him. He's not in a forgiving mood right now. Fix yourself some and then let him see your improvement when he's seeing your daughter.
2006-09-24 15:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be too late, you might need to move on. Sit and think do you really want someone that doesn't want you back? that wouldn't help you guys out at all. Time is the only thing that can probably heal and i'm not trying to be mean but even that probably wont work, if he wants you he will come back to you, but since he has said he doesn't love you anymore that's very heartbreaking and I think you would be smart if you moved on and focused on your child's life and make up for you mistakes with her. You might not be able to find love with him anymore but maybe more love for her because at least if you guys aren't together you still have a piece of him with you always and forever.
2006-09-24 22:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by chemicalbrothers13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop waiting for him to promise return to make you seek your counseling. I left my first husband. I told him I didn't love him anymore. If he had made the effort without the condition of my return, I might have gone back to him even though there weren't even any children to consider. His not seeking self-improvement for his own sake is what convinced me I had made the right decision.
2006-09-24 23:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing is to stay on track about getting YOU fixed....... then worry about the rest of it later...... if you have problems and are getting the help YOU need then that is the first step..... that is all you can do at this point..... improve on YOU..... if he is past the point of trying to make it work with you then you have to face the facts...... take what you have learned into the future, you do not know what it will hold...... show him with your actions, take care of you and the baby and do what is right from this point on..... actons speak louder than words.... but dont get caught up in the stigma of thinking you can WIN him back...... he has a life and must do what he has to do for HIM....... God bless
2006-09-24 23:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue getting help for your problem but you need to step back and let him go.
He probably has been hurt too many times and he's closed his heart to you. People do that when they need to protect themselves.
Becoming a better person will make you an even better mother and ready for whatever comes next in your life.
2006-09-24 22:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heartily support exactly everything Michelle said, the first one to respond to you.
In addition, build your self-confidence, work to be an active listener, improve your interpersonal skills, be a better communicator........ and through THESE things, take your time getting to know (I mean REALLY take your time) before settling down again, this way you won't have the pain of divorce again.
2006-09-24 22:50:17 · answer #6 · answered by megettingbetter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need counsling for yourself. He doesnt care that you changed. I know this sounds horrible but you can't tell your heart who to love. It's better if you move on with you life and do you best to remain friends. You never know what the future brings. If you really have changed he will see it for himself. just stop asking for him to come back it wont work.
2006-09-24 22:48:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep improving yourself for you. It sounds to me like he doesnt want to work things out so there is no hope for the marriage. SO, my advice is to get divorced, heal yourself and then find someone that will truely love you and make you happy. Good luck
2006-09-24 22:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...u continious what u r doing now...and keep faith in god ..evrything will be all right in few times...some problme cant be solved in few days but they take time.....
2006-09-24 23:15:22 · answer #9 · answered by Sanjay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋