Prenuptial deal breaker-?

Question

My gf and I are rapidly approaching the engagement phase of our relationship. I am significantly better off financially than she is. I am going to insist on a prenuptial agreement. Am I wrong to not marry her if she refuses?

I am 32, she is 27- first marriage for both of us, no kids for either of us. We have been dating exclusively for 14 months. I love her now, but I know sometimes bad things happen that can't be resolved. I don't intend to leave her penniless, I just want the details ironed out in advance in case it all falls apart. I am even willing to put a 10 year limit on it. If we make it ten years, the prenup expires.

Answer 1

"With all my worldly goods , I thee endow..."
Maybe you should just give her a salary with benefits. Sounds like you want an employee not a wife aka partner. If your unsure of her then don't bother marrying her. I have yet to hear of a money-back guarantee marriage. It is very novel. I suppose if you have millions and millions or billions stashed away you would want some sort of protection so she wouldn't walk away with 1/2.
Will you be giving bonuses for children? Pay for the havoc it will reek upon her person. This is a bad way to start a marriage.

Answer 2

Several questions come to mind here that will make a lot difference in my answer.

First of all, what are your ages?

Have either or both of you been married before?

Do either of you have children for a previous relationship?

If you are both in your 20's and this would be a first marriage, then I would say that if you do not trust her and love her enough to marry her without a prenuptial agreement, you should not be considering getting married.

If you are older and established, and you want to protect your assets for your children, and grandchildren, then a prenuptial agreement may be the way to go. If you think she may turn into a gold digger after you say "I do", then do not marry her!

Good luck on what you decide. Remember that if it is true love, it will work out, as long as you value her.

Answer 3

If she is the right one for you the money shouldn't matter because will never be an issue. A prenup is the equivalent of a get out of jail free card. It gives people the permission to not work as hard on their relationship because nothing is at stake. In the end the only thing you walk away with is a good story and honeymoon pictures.

Answer 4

Oh my, I thought that when you get married it's supposed to be for ever. If you feel you need a prenuptial agreement maybe you should re-think what you are doing? If you are going into a marriage even thinking about prenuptials there must be some degree of mis-trust. Maybe you should just live together for a while and see how things work out. If you are already living together, do it for a longer time until you are with NO doubts. If there are any doubts what so ever don't go for the marriage part. I would not blame her for refusing, in fact don't be surprised if she is insulted. Maybe you should discuss this issue gently with her way before insisting on it. Kind of get a feel for how she might react because that sounds really very harsh. Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

You are perfectly within your rights to ask for prenuptial agreement! Forget what others are saying!
You have a right to protect what you have accomplished before you and your g/f get married. If she loves you she will respect your wishes. And any decent woman would not want to take that away.
BUT expect to compromise somewhat- remember marriage is the union of two people.
Approach it as a way to protect both of you, let her include things important to her such as family heirlooms. If you make it all about you and your money, it could come across really bad.

Answer 6

I understand your logic, but I still would suggest you don't ask a prenup of her. Unless you already know your gf to be a particularly practical woman, she will probably take offense to the idea. Most women who are young, and never before married, will see that as you not really committing yourself to her.

If the prenup is enough to be a deal breaker for you, perhaps you should be rethinking the engagement. I think you might find it reassuring to consult your local laws regarding premarital assets. You might find that in the event of a divorce, she would only have the right to challenge marital property (including monetary holdings) earned or purchased after the wedding. Your current assets may be safer than you think.

Consult with a real lawyer on this, not a bunch of strangers on-line. Good Luck..

Answer 7

No. You are doing the right thing by thinking about a pre-nup. However, have you ever discussed it with her? Maybe you could put out some feeler on the topic to see what she thinks. Let her know you feel very strongly about this matter.

As you probably know, a prenup must be signed without duress (i.e. well before sending out the invites!).

Answer 8

Marriage is a two way street. You should feel as good about your marriage as you do about her. I really don't see where that should be a prolbem. But you need to talk this thought with her before you ask her to marry you. don't pop the question then the pre nup just bad taste. And really think about it if you really don't see you 2 making it don't ask!!!!!

Answer 9

No you are not wrong. Put a sliding time scale on her access to assetts. If a prenup is a deal breaker she wants your cash not you. There is NOTHING wrong with protecting your assets given todays odds of divorce.

Answer 10

You are not wrong. This is your life. We all know nowadays that a marriage you'd never dream could end, does. People change as they get older and you're protecting yourself.
She may feel like you dont trust her but that us too bad, If she loves you she'll understand. Besides, if it's true love, it'll never come to divorce correct?