How should a teen deal with their parents divorcing?

Answer 1

Try not to pick sides or favor one parent over the other. If you're stuck in a custody battle like I was at 15, then I wish you good luck. If you don't like your living situation, just bide your time until you're old enough to live on your own. Going away to college can be a very good thing.

Answer 2

Counseling! I'm not in your situation, but I know that family counseling principles would apply to you as an individual. There are several ways to find a person you feel good talking to (you might be able to tell the first time you hear or see someone), try contacting: school office (counselors), your county's social service mental health department, a community family resource center could connect you, there are subject headings in the yellow pages you can get ideas from. Even without $$$ you can find assistance in getting through this tragic time of your life so please try to connect with someont who'll give you the emotional support and guidance you need. Best wishes.

Answer 3

Hopefully he wouldn't have to deal in it at all, but the unfortunate thing is that he will. One thing he has to remember is that it is not his fault even though one or both parents might accuse him of it. It was the parent's fault because it takes two to make the thing work and no matter how much time it takes, if it was going to fail it did.

Let the parents alone and do not take sides, if they come to you asking for help, tell them you are their son and not a therapist. Tell them, you cannot be responsible for their actions, since they are supposed to be the adults in the relationship.

Tell them you love them both and cannot take sides because of it. Good luck kiddo, but don't despair, you have friends on line to hear you out no matter how old they happen to be, something they might say, just might help you.

Answer 4

Ask for honest feedback from your parents about the reasons (if you don't know), and ask your parents NOT to use you to vent their feelings or talk about each other in front of you. Ask a school counselor for advice and help in dealing with it. They are experienced in this situation.Find some friends who have been through the situation to relate to.

Answer 5

Get help from a good, sincere friend, counselor, or church group who knows about that....since over 50% are, or will be divorced in any group of people.

Forgive them, they know not what they do.....to you.....just keep loving them as they stumble and fall....forgive them till 70 x 7 or whatever number they need.

Tell them each....you still love them.....lots

Answer 6

teens cannot deal wiht their parents divorcing them self but their relatives should helf him/her get out of the trauma. But it will heal once they become understanding about the human desires himself. so he/she will need some to understand why their parents divorced......if you your self is a teen then just dont think about the divorce just work hard and keep your self occpied by studying and making some ambition which you can try to fulfill it will make you think less about the parents divorcing... so best of luck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!###################!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Parents and Family


"Divorcing my Parents?"

Question:

I have several problems... all of that have to do with my parents. First of all my dad is an alcoholic.He admits it...he says he has to drink to relax or he'll become violent. He drinks 5-6 beers a day and about 5 mixed drinks on top of that. Sometimes he hits me, but not often. He cheated on my mom about 7 years ago and she found out about it...ever since then they have never gotten along, but they stayed together because of the kids. (me,my sister, and my brother)They constanly fight about everything and anything. Last year my 17 year old brother died of bone cancer. My mom took it really hard and now all she ever thinks about is my brother. She knows she needs help, but won't go get counseling. They are really messing up my life and I don't know what to do. My dad won't ever let me go out with my friends, which makes my social life hard. But more importantly I've been getting bad grades at school because of my stressful home life.

No one seems to understand what I'm going through because they think I'm a bad kid because of my bad grades. They don't know how my parents are because they act differently around other people. My 22 year old sister knows everything I say is true though because she's seen it and lived with it just like me. Lately though it's just been me because she's been living on her own for the past 5 years and recently she was home and it was good because I had more freedom, but now that she's gone for good (she moved across the country) It'll never be good. I have been seriously thinking about divorcing my parents, but I have no idea where to start. I hope you can help me by locating information about divorcing my parents or by giving me and alternative. It's been so bad that I've even considered dropping out of school and running away. I don't want to do that though because it will ruin my future. Thank you for any advice you could give me.

female, age 17
USA


Answers:
I agree that divorcing your parents may sound like a good idea but in the long run it won't be worth it. You only have a year left to live with them I know you can stick it out.

Your parents are probably both having a hard time dealing with the death of your brother. Losing a child is a grief you can not imagine until it happens to you. I lost a friend of mine in a car wreck two years ago (actually today is the anniversary of her death) her mom still goes in her room everyday (she's left it exactly like it was) and talks to her. It sounds odd or extreme to a lot of people but it is how she's dealing with your brothers death.

You really need to urge your mom to get counseling. I realize that this is making you the parent instead of the child but she really needs your support right now. First she had the trauma of your dad's affair, then she had to support your brother through his battle with cancer, then she lost him. She is just now getting a chance to sit back and think about what happened. There are probably several reasons why she won't let you go anywhere. One she's afraid of losing another child, two she really needs someone to lean on right now and you're the only person she has. Please try and be patient with her. Suggest she join a support group for people who have lost children, or one for cancer victims families.

I'm also pretty sure that your father's alcoholism is a part of his way of coping. Men aren't supposed to talk about their feelings. When he gets drunk it allows him to escape reality and all the bad things that are happening in his life.

I'm sorry I can't be more help for you (I'm sure if I was on your end I would be thinking that I was totally supporting your parents and not you and that isn't the case). Hang in there. Things will get better if you can get your parents to talk about the affair and the death of your brother. You may never have a Leave it to Beaver family but things can be happy for all of you.

By the way on the affair issue, have your parents went to counseling for that yet? You really should urge your parents to get counseling. If cost is a factor, then have them look into free counseling in your area.

If you just need someone to vent on, I'm here for you.

Jenee

Have you talked with the school nurse, guidance counselor? have you called a teen hotline, contacted a social worker? I think you should seriously consider your options before divorcing your parents.

Perhaps you could move out to where your sister lives, I know it seems drastic but perhaps you would be better off there. Maybe you should gather information on how to help your parents- I'm sure you could find some sites on how to deal with greif on the internet. You could find some tactics to speak with your mother and help her heal.

I don't doubt there are alcoholic anonymous sites on the internet too, You should seriously consider getting your father enrolled in the closest alcoholics anonymous support group.

I understand you're in pain, and I know you hurt and you're scared but you've got to hang in there because as bad as it seems- this too shall pass.

tina