I have been away overseas for over a year. I know that she has needs and so do I. How should I handle this with both of them?
2006-09-24 14:11:53 · 23 answers · asked by dmp_car_8 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
to me it says something about you that you are thinking about it. i think you must be a great guy actually :P
i would also start worrying now that she asked that. ( dont you wonder that maybe she already did and now she is asking you because she feels horrible about it? ) i wouldnt allow it no matter what. im sorry that you guys have to be apart and i hope that you can tell her that you will be home soon enough and you will be together again. you could also tell her just think of the sex the first night your back haha .. that might change her mind
good luck !
wait wait i just thought of something.. maybe you are already home? i just read your question again and it kind of sounds like you might be home already and shes asking this. i would want to know why she is asking you this. ask her is there something going on that you need to know about? or is she unhappy with your marriage? ask her what is it that we need to work out because you would rather get help or work it out then allow her to do this. ( add that you dont think you doing the same thing would help things at all )
i hope i helped a little
have a great day!
2006-09-24 14:22:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may have already had sex with ur friend, but to make it look as if she's showing u respect she ask if it would be ok. But it's up 2 u if u want her to continue. But this is also a chance for u 2 do what u want now that she has made it clear that she wants to play around. So since she wants to then maybe u should say yes =-)
And u 2 can sleep with someone ur attracted too( I mean as my mother say whats good for the gander is good for the goose) and I'm sure being over seas u get to see and meet a lots of ganders that u would like to goose=-)
So let her have her fun and u have yours and just never use it against each other.
I'd like to say that ur wife is a bold woman to even ask u this most men would hit the roof. But I guess the upside is she did ask( but I really do think she may have already did it) she could have at least not did this with a friend
Good Luck
And be safe overseas =-)
2006-09-24 15:34:29 · answer #2 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are away overseas and she wants to have sex with a mutual friend, there is no "letting her". She will ultimately do what she wants - you can't control that. It sounds like she just wants your blessing to sleep around to ease her own guilt and you want justification to do the same.
As far as "needs" go. If neither of you can wait until you are home again, then you had no business getting married and swearing to be true to each other. All that "through sickness and health" stuff. Remember vows?
Don't even go down that road, it is a lose/lose situation for both of you if you want to retain a trusting/nurturing marriage wherein the two of you remain true to your vows and to each other.
2006-09-24 14:37:07 · answer #3 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let her do it this once it may turn into a all the time thing. And who knows with you away she may start to develop feelings for this person since they will be at her disposal. If you feel that letting her sleep with this mutual friend will relieve you of feeling guilty it wont. It sounds like you obviously want to have your needs taken care of or have already done so.Just leave it as it is and tell your wife you would rather not loose her to a close friend. Just think you will never be able to look at him the same way since he did god knows what with your wife and to your wife.Don't let her do it.
2006-09-24 14:21:09 · answer #4 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck no! Let me ask you this... are you considering it because you want her to give you permission to do it too? I can't believe she would ask you first of all and second that you would even consider it. Yes she has needs but sexual needs are not the most important thing in this world. Do you have kids? If yes then it is REALLY a bad idea. And if you give her permission once she does it are you going to get passed it? I don't think that your marriage would be same after that. Do you? Needs, heck get online and order her some sex toys. that is what my husband and I did. He's out in the field almost every week and he is deploying in Dec. Sex, heck I can forget it. I have needs, and those are to uphold my marriage vowes.
2006-09-24 14:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she can. And then you can find a woman over there to satisfy you. Now the only question is which one of you morons will file for the divorce. It is obvious that neither of you have any idea what marriage is all about.
2006-09-24 14:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by nidan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a sure sign that your marriage is beginning to head to a bad direction. Marriage is between two person, man and woman. Bad idea.
2006-09-24 14:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by Max 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your butt is trippin if you let her go ahead and disrespect you like that. she married you knowing that you would be away overseas. Please don't let her do it because it would be wrong in every single way. And if she still does it when you tell her no, then just leave her.
2006-09-24 14:26:42 · answer #8 · answered by TheTroubledOne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Needs?"
Try using your hands. Buy some toys. Why allow yourselves to cheat? If you do that you might as well break up and find a new BF/GF.
2006-09-24 14:18:39 · answer #9 · answered by Magnuna 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
thats totally up to you if you want her to sleep with her friend and it dont bother you why not but if you have needs to and want a special friend on the side and she says no id say no to her also
2006-09-24 14:17:00 · answer #10 · answered by babygurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋