husbands daugther - age 30 2 children getting married for 1st time. Both have never been married before - our second marriage sounds like they are working on a big wedding - what would you suggest as our participation in the wedding - we could offer honeymoon and wedding dress or is more expected - sort of lost on how to approach this. Some feel a small wedding and party would have been more appropriate for this situation 2 children, living together for the last 5 years as well. Any thoughts
2006-09-24 13:50:30 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that offering to pay for the dress and honeymoon is more than enough to do for them. I don't think that it makes any difference whether they have a small or large wedding, as long as they are happy with it, that's all that matters.
2006-09-24 13:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be very generous to offer to pay for the Honeymoon.
Try and find out how large the wedding party will be. Some people either offer to pay for the catering and/or Bar. Both can be very costly depending upon the number of guests.
Maybe people close to the couple could "suggest" a smaller party. I know what the current prices are for wedding parties and it can be staggering. You have to think of rental charges for the reception room, flowers, photographers, D.J./music, dress, hair, make-up (in some cases), catering and of course the bar bill. So "suggesting" a smaller affair will be prudent. More money left to spend on the honeymoon
2006-09-24 14:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by Bexcy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they would be greatful if you paid for the honeymoon and dress. I think alot of people expect to much out of their parents when they get married, not say your is it just that there is no law that says you have to pay for everything. I think whatever you offer they will be happy with. And them living together 5 years doesnt matter, they can have a the biggest wedding ever or a small one, its their wedding. I would include the kiddos in the wedding...Just go along with whatever they want to do and try to help, even if its stuffing invites, believe me every bit of help is wonderful...
2006-09-24 14:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer a cash amount, according to your budget, after that they can make it as big or small as they wish figuring out how to pay for the rest. Best to always approach it right away before they make to many plans of what they want. I know a lot of parents that will say "I have $5,000 (or whatever amount) to go towards your wedding or honeymoon. We wanted to help and I hope that does." How can anyone argue with that?
2006-09-24 14:05:45 · answer #4 · answered by okitty_kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to the couple what type of wedding they want. The brides parents usually pay for the wedding while the grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. In this modern time, a couple living together before marriage is acceptable and even encouraged since divorce rates are so high among those who don't
2006-09-24 13:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should not matter if they have 2 children or 7. Also it does not matter if they have lived together for 5 years. The fact remains, this is their wedding! They want it to be special, and as you have stated above, this is their FIRST wedding! They should deserve what any person getting married would deserve! Just because they lived together for 5 years doesn't mean squat! It only means they know they CAN live together and be a family, unlike some who rush into it and 5 months to a year later are divorced! I congradulate them on taking their time, you should as well!
Dee
2006-09-24 13:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is just my personal old fashioned opinion, but if they have been living together and already have 2 kids they have been "honeymooning" for quite some time. I would offer to pay for the dress or some part of the actual ceremony.
2006-09-24 14:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by together420yrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even suggesting paying for anything???She is already a grown woman with her own children and has been living with her significant other for 5 years. My step daughter got married for first time to her now husband they lived together for 4yrs prior and have no children together, we did not pay for anything of her wedding. We offered to pay for the photographer and sort of set one up but then at the last minute she decided to do a quickie at the court house! We lost a deposit of $600.00, guess we should have just kept our nose out of it. We wouldn't be out of 600 bucks then. Its kind of your choice ultimately, the age of tradition is sort of out now. Its what you decide to do and want to do to help.
2006-09-24 14:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should look in your HEART instead of wallet.
What is the relationship like? Have they greedily expressed what you SHOULD give? Or have they said not to give much because of their age?
Let your feelings guide you here--give what they deserve.
A honeymoon is certainly well above what I would expect, and extremely generous!!
Good luck to all of you, and God bless.
2006-09-24 14:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THESE DAYS MOST COUPLES PAY FOR THE WEDDING WITHOUT THE HELP OF PARENTS BUT IF YOU HAVE MONEY TO HELP OUT IM SURE THEY WOULD APPRECIATE WHATEVER YOU DO FOR THEM BIG OR SMALL
2006-09-24 13:52:54 · answer #10 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋