If you had an unhappy childhood, would you....?

Question

If you have an unhappy childhood, and you hated what happened then, would you try not to remember anything associated with it; and try not to go back to where you grew up and have less interaction with anyone who will remind you about your childhood? Is it a normal human psychological response? Should one face the issue or is it OK to avoid the issue?

Answer 1

I think that one should not dwell on those unhappy events, and yet it isn't the best idea to bury those bad feelings, because they will surface if they are not dealt with.

For instance, people who were abused as children particularly need to face those issues and work them out, and make the decision not to raise their own children that way. Otherwise, they are much more likely to repeat that terrible behavior when they are parents themselves.

Answer 2

The main thing is to realize that all events prior to today are in the past and unchangeable and therefore will remain as an experience in life. Getting a burn will hurt till it heals fully but the scar will always be there but the pain will not. Surely you will remember the pain but you will not be upset with it now that you realize it's all over. The pain experienced during childhood is a similar thing even though there are internal scars the actual pain is gone. If you still feel the pain then you are updating and renewing the events as to cause distress in your current life. Look at it like this as well. Imagine that your life is like a huge roll of film and everyday you get to take a picture. Would you then want to take the same picture everyday or find something new to take a picture of. Why waste film on pictures that are already taken. Think about moving on and what you are going to do tomorrow. You can't change the past but you can shape your future. As far as the people who remind you of your childhood or visiting the area you grew up in I would suggest that the world is a huge place and the country is full of great cities to move to and live in and so if seeing them or being near it disturbs you then move far away. There are new people to meet and new places to go so get going and start a life somewhere. Remember to look at your childhood as an experience that you can use to help someone else who may be having an unhappy childhood.

PS: Take some nice pictures tomorrow!

Answer 3

Great Question Bee!!! I can only share my experience to you. I had a very crappy childhood, full of all sorts of sick crap. I don't remember much of anything about my childhood. Other kids can remember their teachers and friends in grade school. I have no memories. I can remember some things that are about my grandparents. I can remember getting into trouble and some of the mean things other kids did to me, but never any faces or details. A big part of me wants to go back so that I can deal with it, now that I am an old lady. The other part is okay with leaving it alone and helping kids in the here and now. I would more easily understand why I react to some things the way I do and am rather callous to other things. I can tell you I have extensive psychology study, and am currently a social worker, I have a counseling background and worked for several years with sexual offenders. Just so you know, most counselors are counselors, because they are working out their own crap! That is no kidding. I can't tell you what to do, but I think some things are better left alone, UNLESS it interferes with the here and now and making good and healthy decisions for yourself. If a person is not doing that, then a visit to the past may be the very best thing. As Long as it is Done Safely and with Love and Patience!!!! No forcing issues. Make sure it is with a reputable person, if it is about yourself, cause there are plenty of quacks out there who get a thump out of privlidged voyuerism. Good days. Nana

Answer 4

$ is the answer. if you can buy your way out.
otherwise you can dream your way out of it.
you can inside your self ,move away from the issue, it is a bomb and it can go off and it does kill and you can't stop it, BUT, just like a cancer survivier they don't have anything to live for but the fight. so how to release the energy that is consumed in these fights and transfer the energy to fight to live rather than commit to killing your self over it. "here's the good news", head games from love gone bad can blow a hole just as deep just as pain,just like what you have. any combination of things can cause "JUST WHAT YOU HAVE" the same stress level you have so get off the issue of your past and deal with the health problems that it is giving you from you addicted to it's nightmare. or you could listen to things that make you feel normal, like finding it 1943 your born right here right now! and you are not the choosen one to live, you have a brother 14 months old at your birth and there no fod and no way out,your milk is given your older brother and you mother has only water to give you,when she not working 14 hours a day in the war factory behind the house, since you were born, hard life made the desision easy on trying to survive with one child rather than two. but the thing lived and the war ended and then spinal biffidice, rickets, deaf,teeth all fall out, hip replacements,stokes, see we all have bad with out saying a word like the movie g.i. jane the bird can fall from the bough and never outer a peep.courage is not always a avaliable strength to fight a memory when hurts, when there is the nightmares and we are weak from it. you are why we have to write blogs to show that so much is missing in the stories of living world.

Answer 5

Try the book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger: Bad Childhood, Good Life.

Answer 6

Face it. Remember it. As you grow in experience you'll realize that as a child, you were a victim and that the pain and suffering you sustained was not your fault. You were forced to learn some very hard lessons that only age and experience could elucidate.
You're here now and you're able to look back on all the abuse and negligence that shaped you, and you are now able to understand, once and for all, how most children are the victims of parents who really did not know (or care) what they were doing.

Answer 7

I had an unhappy childhood, but it isn't because of where I lived as a child. It does not bother me to go back. It just helps to remind me to try to be better to others than others were to me.

Answer 8

Yes.
I hated growing up in my neighborhood and was very intimidated by some of the more vicious characters on the street. So I always felt a little odd when it came to dealing with that gang in my hometown. I mean, hey, I did like alot of people. That gang of kids all ended up being the trashmen by the way, lol.
I had to live my life differentlly because I am different.
and beat to my own drum. I made my peace with the neighborhood in one last argument, telling those characters
before they judged me, take a walk in my shoes.
Then I left and lived happily ever after.
Until the NEXT NEIGHBORHOOD! sTAY TUNED LOL

mAKE YOUR PEACE AND GO FIND A NEIGHBORHOOD YOU LIKE.
My old neighborhood was like, "love it or leave it:\
MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD'S MOTTO IS" NO PLACE FOR HATE"

Answer 9

I had some VERY unhappy moments in my childhood....

I choose to avoid them... There is no reason for me to dwell on them.... they are in the past and I do not plan on repeating them.

Perhaps if more people would move on from the past they would sleep better at night and look towards the future !

: )

Answer 10

I would and do avoid situations that remind me of my childhood. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'm in a much better place now and have no reason to "reminisce" unless it's to remind me of where I came from to make me more grateful for where I am.