What does it mean when someone is never happy or satisfied no matter how hard you try?

Question

What is the psychological mechanism behind this sort of attitude or behavior. I just can't understand or please this person.

Answer 1

This kind of person is usually very self-centered. Instead of thinking how they can help others, and be interested in what people are doing, and take pleasure from life, and contribute to making other people comfortable and happy.... they are constantly thinking about themselves.
They expect everybody to play according to their rules, and to work hard to make them happy. It is a controlling game, and if you play it, then you are stuck. It's called,
"You Can't Make Me Happy."

The best way to start pulling them out of their warped "I'm the center of the universe" attitude is just to keep telling them that nobody can make them happy, they just have to decide whether they are going to live the rest of their lives in sorrow or joy. Then, don't cowtow to them all the time.
Be a good example to them, by trying to show a reasonably happy attitude and be helpful as much as possible.... but NOT when they are whining and complaining.

They should be encouraged to do things for people that are less fortunate than themselves... then they will see firsthand what REAL problems other people have.

Answer 2

After reading the different answers I had to speak up. I am currently feeling like this. I am not self centered (everyone tells me that I am very giving) Yes, I complain but that's b/c I feel so trapped As to the 'less fortunate'.. I don't care to look to the people who drink pee to live in the mud, b/c then there is always some telling someone about the armless person that can't even bring the pee to their mouths to drink it.; I have been to counseling... for various reasons and I just get MORE frustrated. For stress I've been on meds like Xanax but they took away the edge of the stress but not the reason for the stress. Once doc considered mild bi polar and put me on speed and a different anti depressant. I had horrible side effects so I quit. I tried the 'be grateful' POV but I just fooled myself for about a month or two (each time) and then lashed out an was even MORE depressed about it. I have been accused of being a pessimist but I consider it being a realist. When it's getting getting dark outside sooner and getting autumn, I say: oh, winter is coming. Yuck. Cold. Snow. That is MY opinion. Why is my opinion being pessimistic? I am FAR from a perfectionist! I am a messy person and prefer to not wear make-up or the newest clothes. I do my housework without complaint UNLESS someone who is closer to the task decides to make a stink about it. I am not happy because I deserve better. Others have better, I want SOME of that.

Answer 3

There are many spouses who act like that. But one would have to know more about your situation. I know for sure it is very hard to live with a person like that. Your damned if you do and damned if you don't. Is this is an older person, it could be from getting older. If this is a young person, it could be that he/she is just un-happy with the living conditions and needs to move on. Could be mental illness. If children are involved then the problem becomes worse. I know for sure that people who live with creatures like this, needs lots of patience and understanding. If this person is just spoiled you need to find a way to make this person understand that your sick and tierd of this behavior. It gets to be old crap, tho., putting up with it. Take care and I hope this person will change before you are forced to hit the road.

Answer 4

People would prefer to be 1) Right 2) In good standing with their peers rather than anything else, over their own wants in most cases. So chances are they're trying to fit some ideal of "reality" of how they learned it to be from perhaps some negative influence in their lives, say a negative parent or so on. It's not innate. Suggest that they become Grateful. It is a powerful tool to shift their thinking. They will begin to go in a different direction. They will go from a mental perspective of lack and want to that of abundance and happiness. Things will change if they apply that information to their lives.

Answer 5

It's being pessimistic. Always seeing the down side on life! Never seeing anything good in life or hoping for anything good to happen. It's a mindset that a person has taken on and it has become a part of their personality.
You should have a heart to heart talk with this person and explain to him/her that you care and are concerned for their welfare and want them to be happy and have a more positive outlook on life. You know, just say something along those lines.

Answer 6

It sounds to me that this person and you have some very deep troubles with one another if there seems to be no reciprocal sense of happiness in the relationship. The only conclusion would be that this is a duo that needs to do some third-part counseling to sort out what is, in fact and beneath the surface, going on. If the relationship is worth having, its worth working on. My bottom line: get into counseling and start sorting it out.

Answer 7

It means they are spoilt rotten (which has nothing to do with money contrary to popular belief). This is a person that has not been taught to be responsible for their own happiness. If they were everything you added to that would only be a bonus, they would be happy anyway. People like this also tend to blame other people for not making their existence heavenly.

Answer 8

It means that you should stop trying to make someone happy. Look, happiness is not something you can give it is something that happens within

Answer 9

Some people are just grumpheads OR they are suffering from depression. Probabley needs to see a therapist, won't hurt!

Answer 10

i was the same way. i was diagnosed with depression. i went to the dr. and he gave me a rx for some "happy pills" now i'm good