A quick synopsys: My wife and my marriage has been a train wreck for over 3 years. My brotherinlaw inadvertently sends me an email instead of my wife, after staying with me for 2 weeks sharing my home my food etc. Treating me as a friend, or so I thought. The email say that I am white trash
( I am a fairly educated presently unemployed not by choice) Enterpreneur. and that basically she should document all corrospondenses between my wife and myself. Here is my question? My wife wants to go to his house and have a birthday party for her other sister. They live in North Carolina and I live in New York. I told her to respect the fact that I do not want her to go because this ***-hole totally played me, disrespected me etc.and she should also feel the same way about him as I do. Please respond with either a yes or a no. Should I let her go? and why and if I should NOT let her go WHY? I told her I will divorce her if she goes I am depending on the answers given here to see if I am WRONG
2006-09-24 12:21:04 · 25 answers · asked by HENNY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dude you're totally in wrong...this is her family. If she wants to go to her sister B-day party you shouldn't stand in her way. Also, get a F'in job...entrepreneur my @ss, do you own any businesses or have a steady flow of income from you "entrepreneurial ventures" Obviously not since her side of the family is calling you white trash....get a job first before you start ordering your wife around. If she's the sole source of income you should be dancing to her tone not the other way around. You have NO leg to stand on until you actually start providing for you family...until then you just a house biitch. Hell, I hope you have dinner on the table and the house clean when she gets home LOL....loser!!!!
2006-09-24 12:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You didn't say what was all wrong with your marriage. There are many ungrateful and backstabbing people in the world and Most times it turns out to be family. You can't try to force her make a choice over you or her family. You just might loose.
If this bothers you so much. Sit down and really talk to her and let her know how you feel about all of this. But listen to her also.. That's the best you can do for now. If you have other problems maybe you should be talking about those before she leaves also. The time apart may be of some help.
2006-09-24 19:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by miste19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally feel u have the right to be upset, however this is still ur wife's brother and that can't be wiped away because of unkind words. Being that ur marriage isn't as solid as it could be, forcing her not to go will only worsen things. Let her go have her fun, hopefully some time spent apart will do u both some good. Remember the 2 of u can divorce, but family is forever; this may be her way of thinking.
2006-09-24 19:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by Timber 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think I would get out of the relationship whether she goes or not. Think about this - if she does go and you make the decision to leave the relationship at least you would have time to get your things out of the house without her being there (be fair tho').
Trust me on this as I am a woman. If a woman doesn't stand by her man then she isn't true to her man and I don't mean cheating. Sometimes that hurts just as much as if she did cheat. It sounds as if you really don't want to leave her but you will be better off. It will take time but you will be better off.
2006-09-24 20:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.. She should go because although he's obviously an unappreciative ******.. realize this is her family.. and she loves them no matter what.. to expect her not to go will only drive the wedge in ur marriage even further.. also realize he is her brother and he probably is getting one side of the story (her's) so every time she is upset with u she's complaining to her family which in turn is only showing them the bad side of u.. PLUS.. as her brother, he probably feels that u should be financially taking care of his sister and although ur unemployeed by reason beyond ur own doing, he probably feels that if it means going and working at McDonalds till u can find something better, then u should to protect ur wife financially.. and he probably feels that as a husband ur letting her down, and he is trying to be the overly protective brother, yet handling this completely wrong.. but to deny her to go will only make things worse for ur relationship not only with ur marriage but ur relationship with her family.. and although u probably dont care what her family thinks, they do have a big influence over what ur wife thinks...
2006-09-24 20:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should get divorced but not for the reason you think. Your marriage is a train wreck. What she does about the party is her choice. But telling her she has to think like you is wrong. Maybe she has something for him and that is why she is going. Maybe she is as un-happy as you are. Alot more un answered questions
2006-09-24 22:50:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong. Just because he wrote something about you doesn't mean she has to let her family go because of that. Yes, he disrespected you, but take this as a learned lesson on in laws, plus he meant for you to recieve that email. We are no better than the person doing this kind of talk if we give into it. Hold your head high and show him who the better person is.
2006-09-24 19:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EXCUSE ME!!! Should you "let her go". Hello!!!! I think you better wake up and take another look at her birth certificate...I doubt very seriously that your name will be listed there as her FATHER!!! Where do you get off telling her you will divorce her if she goes!! You're her husband...not her freaking Guardian!! Did you ever consider going with her since you are presently unemployed?? What has she said about the situation that happened? Has she asked you to go with her? You need to get your priorities straight Mister, and quit blaming your wife for things that you don't actually have proof of. You are really insecure if you have to threaten to divorce her based some some other idiots accusations! He said those things...NOT HER!! Why are you blaming her? Go with her and knock the sh_t out of him and be done with it! Then, tell the sister 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY"and return home with your wife.
Nuff said...now, add that little tally to your score!
2006-09-24 21:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Henny, Henny, Henny.... You're in a train wreak for over 3 years??? What are you waiting for someone to come and rescue you? Or, someone to pronounce you DOA, (dead on arrival) is it possible you've been in a coma for over 3 years and are just now waking up? You & your wife live in New York...she wants to go to North Carolina...let her go....how do plan on stopping her anyway? All of the details of the e-mail you received but weren't suppose to recieve.... the fact that you now know this brother inlaw thinks you're not good enough for his sista what does it all matter? Get up and walk away from the train wreak !!! If you need medical attention get it..if you need psychological counseling get it! "IF" you are the enterprenur that you think you are don't you know how to pick yourself up and forge ahead? Where in Gods name did you learn that your wife "should " feel the same way that you do? Sure in a good, healthy realtionship ones partner would ideally sympathise with their spouse but you are in , ( your words) a train wreak...It's not your place to let her go to the family birthday party. You don't need to throw out this ultimatum that if she goes you'll divorce her. You know you want to divorce her and you've felt this way for over three years! Wake up !!! take action. Let her go--- period. Let her go...walk away from the train wreak sooner rather than later... Your wrong to think you can make a bad situation better by trying to control things that are out of your control.
2006-09-24 20:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel she should go because if she does not they will only have more reason to feel ill will towards you. I would not how ever open my door to him again. It is her place to put her family in there place. For you to work or not to work....that is up to the two of you and she should have your back on that. She should defend you to her family and let them know what goes on in your household is you bussiness and not there. There are many reasons a man or woman stays home. If she does not go to the party it will only hurt your relationship more. You can not control her. It will do more harm then good to put that kind of choice on her. She can only cotrol herself and not him. She had no control what he said. But she can put him in his place now that he has said that. Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one and he let his known. She now needs to put him in his place and move on.
2006-09-24 20:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋