i don't feel like giving it up(once a month is good for me)
he complains then drains his noodle
he swears he could never cheat on me (he IS a very loyal man)
2006-09-24 12:14:00 · 25 answers · asked by comicxmom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
once a month??????
that's really not fair to your husband.
you seem really cold, perhaps marriage just isn't for you?
2006-09-24 12:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every man is different. You are the one living with him so you are the only one who knows him best. If you really feel that he is loyal, I think you should be ok. When you first started out as a couple, were you more active? If the answer is yes, you need to ask yourself why and maybe both get yourselves back in that train of thought. My hubby and aren't too active in the bedroom sometimes and other times, very active. Our jobs and other issues not related to our relationship tend to drag our minds elsewhere while we are both faithful to each other because we love each other so much and feel a trust and security. With my ex, though, I can say different...he wasn't trustworthy as the yrs went on but I won't agree that ALL men are that way. Only you can make that decision based on the security of your current relationship. Have a talk with him and both discuss your feelings and seek how you can make improvements if you need any. Good luck ;)
2006-09-24 22:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a month is not little enough to be complaining. I hate the way people think this way and accept that the only thing a man wants, needs is sex. That if he doesn't get it he will leave. He will leave only if he WANTS to leave.
Sex is not part of any package. I don't see it written in any contract, I don't hear it in a wedding speech you need to sleep with him. Sex is not a job, it is not a right. Sex is a gift you get when she/he WANTS to. You can only do it when both want and that should be all enough.
Wanting it once a month isn't little enough to go crazy about.
I hate the way people act like it's the worst thing that can happen, thinking they HAVE to want it more. You don't. Find a guy who has the same libido as you instead.
And remember the longer you wait a tension is built up and make the sex better. You shouldn't be counting times.
A man who would leave you just because he didn't get sex is not worth anything to begin with, he doesn't know what love is, or he does but he choose sex over love. Which is sadder.
2006-09-24 19:42:36 · answer #3 · answered by Magnuna 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Depends on the man. I know one man who ussually got some on a monthly basis, deceided he wanted more and cheated after a year. Another guy I know went without for 3 yrs because she didn't want to, finally had sex with his girlfriend and then went without for another year and a half. The question is not how long can a man go without, the question is what is the character of your husband.
On the topic of not feeling like having sex, I've been there and can understand, but must urge you to work on that yourself. It won't be any good if you force yourself to but know you are missing out on something that can be quite enjoyable and special once you tackle what is the root of the problem.
2006-09-24 19:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by okitty_kat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mom If you don't want to then that's your business and no amount of persuasion is going to change that , The thing is allot of folks are saying back rubs massages other kinds of togetherness is a substitute and that may well be the case, but in my opinion Your hubby will think that you are initiating sex with this closeness and when he misguidedly tries to get the ball rolling you will think that this is all he ever thinks about (and your not wrong )then he will just get angry and frustrated and go moan and groan on the throne. Don't assume that all guys are so weak as to cheat because of a drought in the bedroom some times that all consuming love is not just physical and the commitment is still there when the lust is waining . you said it loyalty is his trait
2006-09-24 20:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, you capitalize the word "IS" when you say he "IS" loyal, but then you yourself are questioning his fidelity...me thinks the woman doth protest too much. Are you perhaps reflecting on your own insecurities as to YOUR fidelity to this man?
Sex isn't everything in as marriage..yes, it starts out as an important part of it, but after several years of marriage (which I am just assuming that the two of you have), after that, it's the tenderness, the romance, the companionship, the togetherness....those are the things that matter then Those are what you never want to lose. Sex is just a "thing"...but love is a lifetime.
As for how long before he does start cheating....it'll be one of two things......
either....UNTIL THE TWELFTH OF NEVER (and that's a long,long time)
or
UNTIL HIS HAND GETS TIRED AND BLISTERED AND HIS FINGERS FALL OFF, OR THE ELECTRIC BILL GETS TOO HIGH TO PAY (oops, sorry...that's one's for us women...sorry!)
Honestly, if you are that worried about when he will start cheating on you because you will not give him sex, then maybe you oughta start re-evaluating your priorities and realize that a working marriage takes two people and alot of give-and-take.
Good Luck in whatever happens.
2006-09-24 20:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For most men it does not take them very long to seek pleasure somewhere else. Find out what your problem is and get help for it. If you have a low libido....take some of the new herbal supplements made just for women..no one has to know about it. If you are bored, then try something different. Different places, diff. times of day, diff. positions, surprise him by joining him in the shower and offering to wash his back. And if you are not gonna give it up more than once a month, then you need to keep him satisfied in other areas....make sure to prepare homecooked meals for him, give him a back massage once a week, compliment him, brag on him, encourage him.
2006-09-24 19:20:49 · answer #7 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You married him, go and get some help like therapy. If you want to keep a man that you married, you know that sex comes with the package. If you do not want to be married let him go, or get prepared for the cheating. That is common sense, there is NO time limit on as to when he will cheat, the relationship may have already be suffering from other problems, no one can answer that but you, and NO one on this site can solve the problem for you--------------------get help girl or get ready to share
2006-09-24 19:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by SWRK student 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How pathetic are you? If you were honestly worried about him cheating because you didn't feel like "giving it up", you would do whatever it took to keep him. But you put your needs(or lack there-of) ahead of his. There has to be a happy medium. Women like you should be put in a cell somewhere, instead of continually draining their husband's self-worth(i.e. "Why doesn't she want me? What am I doing wrong?"). You said he's a loyal man, which means he's a good husband. Be a good wife, and make an effort to please him, instead of being so damn selfish.
2006-09-24 19:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by devlish_blu 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
wow, never heard of the drain the noodle phrase! if you're husband is a loyal man than you have no worries on him cheating on you. for me, we do the deed once a week and he is very satisfied so i dont have to let my mind wonder.
2006-09-24 19:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ruth R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first opportunity where he finds someone that reminds him of you.
Strangely enough this is often the case as it tends to compensate for the act. Every woman I have had an affair with very much reminds me of my wife.
As for timing like I said when he meets the first one resembling you the rest become easier.
2006-09-24 19:24:07 · answer #11 · answered by r g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋