everytime i do smthng exciting or new, my best friend unintentionally outdoes me. like for example, the first time i gave head to a guy, she lost her virginity the same night! (with a different guy haha).. so no one really wanted to talk to me about what i did.. everyone wanted to talk to her. also, whenever i get a boyfriend or a date, she gets a cuter, funnier, smarter one around the same time. she doesnt do these things intentionally, like to hurt me, she just always coincidentally surpasses me in some way. i know i come off sounding jealous, but i'm just really stressed because i feel shown up every time this happens.. what do i do?
2006-09-24 12:09:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Do something amazing and unique! What would your friend NEVER do?
2006-09-24 12:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by disneyfreak4743 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you take care of and respect yourself and are truly proud and happy with what you're doing, you won't be concerned what others think about it. Sounds like you're being very competetive with your friend. This could get into harmful or risky behavior if you don't look out. Know the difference between being "friends" and "acquaintances". Friends truly care about and accept each other. Acquaintance don't necessarily have a caring relationship--they're just around each other at times. If you're more interested in talking with your "friends" about what you did with the guy than actually interacting with him, you're probably viewing him as an object (though, I'm sure, a very pleased object). That's not a very healthy way to treat or be treated by someone. People, including you, are not objects. This is coming from someone who is not religious, but spiritual.
2006-09-24 12:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by KIT J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be so competitive. You just have to be happy about what you're doing and not so concerned about her. The issue is more about your attitude and your perspective more than what she's doing.
For example, if you have a bf you're completely happy with then why does it matter if her bf is cuter or etc? Take some time to consider why you see things the way you do and maybe see if the issue has more to do the relationship with your friend and yourself. You may want to examine how you view your friend.
2006-09-24 12:16:04 · answer #3 · answered by cantankerous_bunch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's bragging about it like ha ha I did this and you've only done that it's not cool.If she's NOT bragging about it may just be you wish you had the things she has but don't let it get to you. As long as u are making smart decisions in your life in the long run you will be a lot happier when u look back and think -Thank God I didn't do that and you could have another benefit -(you can learn from her mistakes)!
2006-09-24 20:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by Bel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do, except have a chat to her about it. Obviously, she's free to do all those things, as are you.
If she's a true friend, she will respect your feelings, and your stance. Tell her that you realise she doesn't do it maliciously, otherwise, she might feel attacked, and you'll only end up in a blue.
Just have a sit down with her, and get some things off your chest.
Good luck.
2006-09-24 12:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by Medicated Harmony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something really ‘dumb’ and see if she tries to top that !!!
You said that she is ‘unintentionally’ outdoing you…
How do you know it is ‘unintentional’?
How do you know that she isn’t just making things up?…
Do you know for a fact that she lost her virginity when she said she did?
I don’t see it as being a case of ‘you being jealous of her’…
Rather, I think it is the other way around…
She is jealous of you and the way you are with your other friends.
I think you have to draw the line somewhere as to what is a ‘coincidence’ !!!
2006-09-24 12:12:34 · answer #6 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, we all need our moments to shine but these two things you have mentioned are less than bragging material. I definately wouldn't be going to all my friends to tell them about the first time I gave head! That's ridiculous! You've made it sound like you're trying to flaunt the things that you have. Stop putting yourself in competition with her, because life is not a competition.
J
2006-09-24 12:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you are consumed about what everyone else thinks about you, or who can "show you up", you are in for one miserable life. Just do what you are doing. Second of all, I don't know when it became ok to brag about sexual acts, but I find this repulsive. Sex needs to be kept in the bedroom between two people who love and care for one another and are married.
2006-09-24 12:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by reconnermom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I suggest you ask her if it is being done intentionally, just to keep things on the up & up. Don't brag or boast about WHATEVER it is exciting or special that you will do before you do it. Even if she does something similar after you its still your special something because you have, "been there done that!"
GOOD LUCK
2006-09-24 12:16:47 · answer #9 · answered by BaM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember this, your friend has to try and upstage you because because she knows that she is worse than you in everything and now she has to try and prove to everyone that she is better than you, when in actual fact she is only doing it for her own ego, everyone including you needs to know that you did it first
just keep those big ideas rolling in and don't let her/him see that they are getting to you and look uninterested in what they are doing and saying and then they will eventually back off
2006-09-24 12:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by Dr Danielle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, for one you should be happy for what u have done u are u and your friend can not help what she does am sure she does not do it on purpose don't try to compete with a friend or feel she has one over u all the time...Be Yourself Love Yourself...life is to short live life love life and laugh often.
2006-09-24 12:13:58 · answer #11 · answered by kalisilverstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋