We have only been married for 2 months and we love each other to death but we fight constanly and its over stuipd stuff like his porn and me not wanting to have sex anymore (im pregnant and it hurts) or just a bunch of other meaningless bull crap.
2006-09-24 12:05:48 · 24 answers · asked by heaver_2002 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
some of you are being kind of mean. this is a very hard subject please if you cant be helpful in a decent way do not answer the question.
2006-09-24 12:13:01 · update #1
I also have a 3 year old so it is not my first child it is my 4... and there are so many other factors to much for me to say on here but i am finding that maybe we should do counseling. most everything is about money with us we never have enough and it is not the fact he looks at porn it is the fact he hides and lies about it and among many of other things. the baby he doesnt even realy care about, and me he doesnt really care about either it seems. I have been diagnosed with cancer and its like he does not care.
2006-09-24 12:20:13 · update #2
ITS NOT ABOUT THE PORN IT IS ABOUT THE FACT HE DOES NOT CARE AT ALL! THATS WHAT IT IS ABOUT. HAVING CANCER AND DEALING WITH THIS BULLSHIT IS NOT HELPING ME GET BETTER IF I AM GOING TO GET BETTER......
2006-09-24 12:28:13 · update #3
hey.......wow a lot on your plate kiddo....okay how far along is cancer? what kind, being your having a baby puts the cancer thing at a risk, u cant have chemo or radation casue it will hurt the baby, yet it allows the cancer to grow....i know youre scared shitless right now, and i dont blame you, councling would be a good start, try to sit down and talk to him, sort out the feelings tell him your scared, maybe hes just as scared and wont accept the fact that he might lose you or the baby, like i said i dont know the cancer, how far advanced it is, etc etc....as a far as his porn goes, i think its a natural thing, its not that he dosent love you anyless, hell my wife asks me the same thing...lol...its a guy thing i guess....as far as the fighting goes, you are in what youre what 4-7 month...sex shouldnt be painful. id bring this up to your doctor next visit....you could try something to mutually please ech other without intercourse, there are ways to do it....i mean oral intercourse would satisy both of your needs with out the pain...you look young, and if this is your first marriage, things can get real tough, we all go through tough times, hell we did too not too long ago...it set us back 3 months, but we kept plugging along and we are making it...marriage is a 50-50 deal, and your hubby needs to be the supportive one in this ordeal....but talk to hiim hun...ask him if hes afraid, you might be surprized in the comeback....good luck hope this helps
2006-09-24 13:08:16 · answer #1 · answered by russ_vl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not been married long enough to even know what it is all about yet. You need to get some things worked out for the baby's sake. This relationship now includes another person, and should be taken into consideration.
Honey, if you are not going to have sex with him, then get off his case about the porn! It is much better that he look at it and even satisfy himself than to have him seeking out another girl for satisfaction.
Sounds to me like you two still have a lot of growing up to do. Playing house and facing the responsibility of parenthood and bills on your own is an entirely different thing.
If you really love him and the baby, start communicating with each other instead of fighting. I found out the hard way that there is always 2 people in an arguement, and for the fighting to stop, 1 of them has to shut up....and it certainly wasn't going to be him....so I learned how to swallow my pride, close my mouth, and talk when he had calmed down.
I wish you both the best of luck, but know that a marriage takes 100% from each partner....one cannot do it alone....it takes both of you. Hang in there!
2006-09-24 19:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds more like a maturity issue than a "marriage is over" issue. You both sound too young and immature to be married in the first place.
You need to both grow up and accept the fact that you will be parents soon. You will be faced with the awesome responsibility of raising another human being to maturity - yet you have not even reached that point yourselves.
Get some counseling. You will not be able to keep going without it. I don't mean asking your parents or friends what to do. Go to real marriage counselors and find out how to actually live as a wedded couple.
Then also get some parenting help before the little one gets here.
2006-09-24 19:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My answer: marriage counselling.Your marriage is not over.Those are signs that there is a problem in the marriage: lack of communication,misunderstanding;but never about to be over. When a marriage is over,is when both (husband and wife),tried to do the best to solve the differences and at the end; never reach an agreement_but they tried to find the way and it was not working.Then, both understood that is over.You can talk with your husband, and together; find an agreement to do not fight anymore.If both can not find the way out,then get help, going to marriage counselling to fix the problem.Remember a baby is coming,he or she, will need a Dad and a Mother.Good luck.
2006-09-24 19:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could consider that your body is going through some really tough changes (hormonally) and maybe you aren't the easiest person to be around right now? That will even out, but if it's your first and you're in the first trimester, oh boy are your hormones at work.
Guys, all guys are obsessed with that stuff. You need to have a discussion (a rational one) about how it makes you feel.
As for sex right now, well maybe you could just take care of his needs. There are alot of ways to love a man without intercourse. Surprise him with a massage, a warm oil massage... Men are easy with warm oil while on their stomachs and being rubbed.
Congrats! And be good to yourself... hugs
2006-09-24 19:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have some growing up to do. Maybe you should have waited to have kids. Regardless, there is a child involved and that baby is all that matters. The fact that your hubby is into porn is a huge problem.I can't speak to the sex during pregnancy thing, but you should see your doctor because it shouldn't hurt.
Like I say, you have a kid on the way. Get your life straightened out now or your marriage will fail. Kids add all sorts of stress to a relationship and if it's already rocky, you can pretty much kiss it goodbye.
2006-09-24 19:10:41 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Money is an issue so is his like of porn (which you knew about prior to marrying him...Question 2months ago) you are in a delicate way at the moment and I know from experience that the littlest thing can become a huge issue when your hormones are on edge ...Pregnancy can do that . But the fact is that your husband married you and you him to look after one and other.
Is it possible that your husband is taking your not wanting to have sex with him at the moment as a personal insult to to his masculinity, we guys think that way .
But in the end you two need to sit down at the table and talk not argue . lay down the rules and talk about whats wrong after all it is just a hurdle to climb and if your going to make this love last you have to be friends and lovers .
2006-09-24 19:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A truly desired marriage can not be over within 2 months, but you do have some ingredients for trouble. Although a lot of husbands receive the message of I love you through sex, there still needs to be understanding of your feelings physically and emotionally. No marriage is easy or perfect. I suggest you attempt marriage counseling before either of you do something that haunts your marriage. The signs of a marriage being over is ussually simply one or both partners make no effort of solving the problems that arise.
2006-09-24 19:12:10 · answer #8 · answered by okitty_kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to grow up and take on the responsibility he chose.
Sounds like he is still just a kid and that you have a lot of training to do. Start now and if it doesn't work out start making some choices as to how you are going to survive on your own. This is not a selfish act, the only one that can keep you happy throughout your entire life is you.
Get smart get a job and become self sufficient now while you still can. If your relationship works "great" if not at least you wont become a victim.
2006-09-24 19:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by r g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 5 Signs of marriage being over:
1.- Lack of money
2.- Poor sex
3.- Lousy conversations
4.- No respect or considerations for each other
5.- No goals in common
But in your case, I think it is just a matter of very newly wed. You need time to settle. You are going through several hormonal changes with your pregnancy and also several psychological and social changes because you just got married two months ago. Wait until the child is born and you won't have time to think about trouble where there is none.
2006-09-24 19:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by Mardesal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋