2006-09-24 11:48:44 · 24 answers · asked by Doug 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is serious!! You need to start doing all the things you did in the begining that made her fall in love with you. Do all the little things that say I still care and that I'm thinking about you. Be attentive and show her that she's still the one.
No time to waste.... get on it!!
2006-09-24 12:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate for those kinds of things to happen. I am in love with my hubby, but some days I feel like I am not. But I'm already at the point where I do not get butterflies anymore. I never expected to keep feeling those things anyway. I think I fall in and out of love with him, but I will always love him and only be with him until one of us dies. It hurts, but you can not force someone to be with you. I would rather have the person leave me rather than stick around and cheat on me with someone else they may have fallen for. After 17 years, I wonder if she still loves you--If she doesn't, why not? Have you done mean and hurtful things? Do you not give her the attention, compliments, and appreciation she wants anymore? I really do not understand how someone could just up and want to leave all of a sudden, but I know it happens. However things work out, just give it your best to try to make it work--that is all you can do. If it fails, just be strong and know that the sun always shines again, even after a rainy day.
2006-09-24 19:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by Christa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my husband for seventeen years as well.
If you truly love her, try your best to rekindle the moments you shared that made her happy the most. Compliment her more, and try having a "date night" every two weeks. Material things are such that "things", so don't go crazy with showering her with gifts.
You will be surprise with the little things you can do to make her feel important and that you truly want to make it work.
Leave a single rose with a note before you head off to work. Cook her dinner, make her bath, send her to a spa for some alone time. Not sure if you have kids? If so, the things I mentioned will allow her to have some alone time.
We all need that at times, and having you do these things for her will show her that you care enough to understand.
If you do your best to try and make it work, and she still doesn't repond then perhaps is time to seek professional help and see a marriage counselor.
I sometimes wonder if I'm still "in love" with my husband. Seventeen years is along time and things change. You go through allot of ups and downs, but when he takes the time to make dinner, help with the house etc....it shows me that he understand what I go through daily.
Couples stop dating, just because your married doesn't mean life STOPS. Go out on romantic dates and do your best to hang on to her!
All the best!!!!
2006-09-24 20:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through something similar a year ago. My best suggestion is move on with your life... not saying go find another partner, but reconnect with the hobbies and interests that you use to have. Dont beg, plea, or attempt to win her love... that only fails. The strangest thing happens when a person puts sometime into their own interest, their spouse starts to see again the person they did fall in love with and why they love them. Most times the estranged spouse will come running back and if she doesn't then you have found activities and a lifestyle that doesnt leave you at home alone hurting. Hope it helps.
2006-09-24 19:17:02 · answer #4 · answered by okitty_kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doug 17 years of one guy, think about it have you been all that she could desire in that 17 years are you as attentive as you were in the good old days do you do the little things like flowers and an I love you before leaving the house or a I missed you instead of a complaint ,
A friend said to me once not to long ago your settled you see your lady as just a possession ,,,the little lady .Buy her little silly gifts again treat her to a movie and then sit in the park and give her a ride on a swing. make her heart sore like when you were young . take her to a place were you were romantic let her breath in the reason why she fell for you , Its all about effort you love her and don't want to lose her then do things to convince her that you still deserve her , Doug I hope this helps no one likes to lose the best part of their life and half of themselves in the process tell her you love her
2006-09-24 19:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a copy of the men's version of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" and read it, discuss it with your wife. It's a simple book, but may help to save your marriage. If she is not in love with some other man, and she can stay faithful and trustworthy to you, the two of you maybe able to get through this. Counseling may be necessary, also. However, if she insists she doesn't love you, then divorce is the only answer. It's not bad, once you get through with the lawyers and settlements. Being single has its up and downs also. Your happiness is important also, but don't give up unless there is no hope of reconciliation and saving the marriage.
2006-09-24 19:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I completely understand this situation because I've been with the guy I'm with since high school and I think he's fallen out of love with me. This is really hard but I think that you should, not divorce her, but distance yourself from her because a bigger heartbreak is comming. I know that words cannot express how much this hurts because you still have all of these feelings and the other person just wants to move on but distance yourself. Start to concentrate on other things in life.. not necessarily other women but start to remember what it was like to be alone. Do things that make you happy because she might leave you and you have to emotionally brace yourself. However if you think that you can spice things up and things will work out, I suggest you should try. Personally I'm hanging on but I don't think that is smart of me.
2006-09-24 18:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Romance her, honey.... and surprise her by becoming a better lover. Buy the book below. Thing is, you guys think that you have to be well hung to be a successful lover, or you have to last an hour, and the drug companies sell you drugs to do it (Viagra sells for $20 a tab in Japan)..... god you guys live with terrible guilt. You guys are designed to pop quickly --- evolutionarily, think how vulnerable a male is with an erection --- he has to survive to produce children so it was in his best interest to climax quickly. That worked just great 40,000 years ago, but not now. Your penis is for YOUR pleasure, your mouth and hands and lips are for hers... Read and learn, that really, every woman should come with a booklet on "How to make love to this woman" We don't ,so you have to be inventive. This book has lots of suggesstions, and exercises and on how to make your bond better. Get it cheap, and at your house by Thursday from Amazon.com. Worth every dime.
"For You Both" by Lonnie Barbach -- THE sex therapist in the country today...
2006-09-24 20:15:36 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you remember the first time you ever set eyes on her?
Do you remember the first time you asked her out on a date?
Do you remember the moment that you asked her to marry you?
Do you remember the feelings you experienced the first time you made love to her (which may or may not have been in between any of the above things)?
Now, when was the last time you ever looked at her that way, or asked her if she wanted to go out on a "date" (yes, even married people can have them), and have you ever thought about asking her to re-marry you (a renewal of your wedding vows), and when was the last time you made love to her like she was the only woman on earth and you the only man?
If you even have to hesitate answering any one of these questions...then my love, you have already wasted too much time and you best get your male hormones in high speed gear and get to re-romancing the woman of your life before you do lose her!!
It's not too late....but you better start yesterday!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK.....AND I EXPECT AN INVITATION TO THOSE RENEWAL VOWS CEREMONY!!!!
2006-09-24 19:08:42 · answer #9 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what she loved about you before, what made her not love you anymore, what she thinks is missing, find out how she could love you again. Make an effort, do fun things again together, or try something new, games, questionaires, find out something new about eachother. Do something you've never done before.
You never know, maybe she would fall in love with you all over again if there was more to you she didn't know about. Or whatever reason it is she doesn't love you anymore.
2006-09-24 19:09:29 · answer #10 · answered by Magnuna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋