my wife and i have been married 27 years she has lost interest in a sexual relationship so what am i suppose to do?
2006-09-24 11:01:03 · 24 answers · asked by gdoggone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds to me like she is going through menopause, a difficult time for any woman. She probably is starting to feel more self conscious about her body and how she/you perceives it. If you tell her that you like her body but then make negative remarks about other women's bodies that she perceives to be very much like hers all the nice comments that you may make about hers are for nothing. A woman has to feel sexy to want to have sex and being a woman over 50 and into menopause I can tell you that it is extremely difficult to feel sexy with a body that has more lumps and bumps than curves. Do things with her and for her that has nothing to do with sex and see what happens. Don't expect a miracle overnight. Send her to a day spa or for a weekend getaway with a best friend. Just give her a chance to recharge her energy levels a little bit and see what happens. ( No miracles promised)
2006-09-24 11:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although the two of you have been married for so long, that is not an excuse to lose sexual interest.
Sex shouldn't be everything in a marriage but is part of a loving marriage that you can actually enjoy with your partner the intimacy in your private bedroom.
You're going to need to speak to her on why she feels less active. Perhaps she is going through early stages of menopause and isn't in the mood.
Also, try getting her in the mood with kisses on the neck and massages. If things like that don't work your wife may need to see a doctor to see what is going on with her body... it's true! Just because you get old doesn't mean your appetite for sex should stop completely.
2006-09-24 18:32:40 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a lot of people this is not unusual even after a few years of marriage. The problem for you is a lack of sex. The problem for her is a lack of her husband giving her the attention she needs.
Even if you are both he best of friends there are times when the same old thing just isn't good enough anymore. You need something to spark your marriage.
I was married 37 years and found out that if you don't give her the attention she needs someone else will. I am with my second wife.
Don't let it go that far.
2006-09-24 18:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her see a doctor. She might could use some hormone therapy, and maybe some testosterone.
It's maddening to have to look at a dessert situation for the rest of your life, knowing that it doesn't bother her. Get some counseling, and then decide that, if she doesn't love you anymore, it may be time to get out.
27 years is a long investment, and I hope that she'll respond to outside help.
2006-09-24 18:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to woo her all over again. and maybe it is time for some hormones? skirt the subject, see if she bites... don't push it on her, as it may be a tender subject. If you love her, you work with her to figure out the answer. And keep plenty of lotion on hand.
it's quite possible she could be going through the "Change". Which means... grab onto something bolted down and hold on. as you get older women do tend to lose interest... from more stress, more free time, less hormones, and less self confidence. Make her feel beautiful. Love her the best you can. And self inflict as much relief as needed.
2006-09-24 18:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So how long has it been? women go through stuff you know. I'm sure that if you were nice to her and romanced her a little . and I mean everyday. And no screaming or flying off the handle in between either. that will set you back about a month. Oh and it will take about 3 months for her to come around again , if you can be nice for that long you might get lucky.
2006-09-24 18:24:20 · answer #6 · answered by jassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages," he advises that sex is only one of the love languages in men and women and she may need her other "love tanks" filled before she wants to make love to you. It's an easy and simple book. He's a professional counselor. I read the male version, and probably should have read it 20 years ago. You may read this together, then try some counseling.
2006-09-24 18:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that she is going through changes in her life. As many others have said try to talk to her....if she does not want to talk about it then maybe she would talk to a Doctor to see if something is effecting her sex drive. Other than that I guess you will have to decide what steps to take. In my opinion having a affair is NOT a Option.
2006-09-24 18:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try asking her for oral sex?She really doesn't have to get into it just complete the task for you! Or let her know how you feel and tell her you need some sort of release maybe she'll give you permission to have a mistress or a concubine?!
2006-09-24 18:15:39 · answer #9 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the opposite problem with my husband, married 24 years. He was experiencing errection problems and did not want to tell me. It was horrible. Talk to her, ask her why, their are inserts into the vagina the doctor can prescribe to increase hormone levels. She might need that. Gee, I'll take you and he can have her. (He did see the doctor and he helped him out) Nice to have a sex life again! because he need you to tell him that you need sex
2006-09-24 18:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by tiff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋