Carol & i fell out over 8.5 yrs ago. We have a beautiful daughter aged 8.5 but Carol also has another 4 kids younger than my daughter to 3 different guys, but after txtin her over the last few weeks i am now in havin thoughts about tryin to re-start our relationship, should i, is it worth it. To make things worse I am still in Scotland and she has moved to central England. Am I just clutching at empty straws and kidding myself on or what? Or should I go for it, then i ask myself if i could take on 4 children that aren't mine????? I'm sooooo confused!!! Please help!!!!
2006-09-24 09:55:02 · 16 answers · asked by ony114 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hows this for a laugh, as i am reading these answers castle in the sky is playing asking "do you ever question your life"
Mad or what?
2006-09-24 10:15:55 · update #1
Thanx 4 all answers. B4 I choose best answer 4 this Q. i'm goin 2 tell a short story.
We fell out coz I was unfaithful, her other kids have no contact with their fathers, this I kno 4 sure as they try 2 call me dad but my bairn corects them. Plus the father of her 2 boys is an old school m8 of mine> I honestly can say I didn't actually love her but as the years have went on things have started 2 change and have honestly started 2 grow feelings 4 her. Y now & not then u ask ur self's. Thats my whole point, should I or shouldn't I? After seeing her 2day - 26/9/06. I dont think it will happen, but thanx 4 all input, u hav all been a gr8 hellp in making my mind up. Best answer goes 2 .............................
2006-09-27 10:19:17 · update #2
I wouldnt go back to an ex. Ive always had a rule that you should never go back to an ex, as the reason you broke up in the first place is still there.
You're probably reminiscing over the good times and after a long period of time the bad times can become diluted, and begin to not seem as bad.
It quite alot to take on another person's children if your not sure, its not fair on the children to start something and for this to then fall apart as they've already experinced this loss. You could end up resenting these children and the fact the fathers may still be on the scene.
Its also a lot to give up to move from Scotland to England as you are left vulnerable, you may end up living in her house and then if it does not work out you could be left homeless as you had given up your home to be with her. House prices in Scotland continue to rise and therefore it may be difficult to move back if you wanted to once you have given up the home.
Carol possibly needs sometime on her own to try and look at what she wants from a relationship as you have described she has had four children to three other men and then there was you as well. She possibily does not know what she wants yet and may benefit from time on her own to consider that, as something is not working.
If it was me, i would not go there. For yourself, Carol and the children's sake, unless you are 100% certain.
2006-09-24 10:18:53 · answer #1 · answered by CHIMP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont go down that road,you sound like a really nice man and lets face it,all her failed relationships over the past 8.5yrs cant be down to the fault of all the men thats past through her life,you may think that you still love her but how would you cope with all the fathers visiting their kids?
Let her go, she obviously isnt the settling down type,find a nice lady and be happy,good luck.
2006-09-24 10:32:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOOOH NOOOOOO!!! I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship but your ex life sounds complicated enough without any more complication. Please remeber it is not just you there is to think about any relationship will affect ALL the kids if it does not work out and especially your child wh probably\already has hopes you will be together again. Be VERY careful its alot of lives to play with and a big committment you need to be very sure what you want before you go near. Also it is not easy to take on those kids they have already had more than one father so tread careful on their emotions. Tricky but just concentrate on your relationship with your daughter. x
2006-09-24 10:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by Nic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the reason you fell out. You'll also be playing daddy to 3 kids that aren't your own which is going to make the relationship harder than it would've been with just you both and your daughter. I'd leave them be if I were you.. it can only end in disaster.
2006-09-24 10:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your self why is she your ex. why did you break up last time.i went back to an ex once and after a few months i know it was wrong and it should of stay as an ex. as know we don't even talk anymore.but if you really want it then go for it as it might work out this time if you both want it and know how to stop it going wrong like it did last time.plzs feel free to email me if you want to talk to some one.good luck and really hope you will be happy.
2006-09-24 10:32:43 · answer #5 · answered by twinmum1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa ! Slow down ,there is no need to be in such a hurry . Try 'phoning her and talk properly ,see how she re-acts and take things from there .Just don't build a fantasy around this girl .
2006-09-24 10:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by Rosie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is an ex for a reason, there was a problem before and the relationship ended. Have you resolved this issue? Good luck
2006-09-24 10:19:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
an ex is an ex for a reason and that reason wont ever disappear. uv tried ur luck with her and it didnt work out give some other girl a chance
2006-09-24 09:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by Barson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for begginners..she is a ex for a reason .. 2 ... it depends on if she is serious about gettin with u ... and only u ...if she has matured or changed .. 3 ..do u mind raising kids that are not yours.....
2006-09-24 10:09:08 · answer #9 · answered by lezbianflava 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should never go back be friend but there is to much water under the bridge find yourself a nice girl
2006-09-24 12:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋