Is it fair to want a divorce if your husband doesn't support you???

Question

I've been married over 7 years and my biggest issue with my hubby is the fact that he has never trully provided for me and my family. It's so frustrating and I am considering divorce. I think it's affected my respect for him. Am I being shallow? He really really loves me - I don't know what his problem is. He has no hussle about himself and I am sick of struggling with him. I'm young and beautiful and I feel like I missing out on life.

One of the biggest thing that keeps me with him is splitting my family up. We have four great kids ages from 6 - 14 and we are all very close. I think if we divorce it could really hurt them.

Since everyone keeps telling me to get a job. I've always has since we've been married. Now I have my own business. Thanks

Answer 1

Your children's need to have their father around is well worth the price you are paying. They'll be gone before you know it, and there's no way you can go back and give them this priceless gift. Mainly, it would be wise for you to forgive and not let bitterness build up in you.

Answer 2

MARRIAGE,is not a word to be taken llightly,ater all u did know who he was before u married him. U know like what level of education he had and how much he could make to provide for a family. Also four chldren )it takes 2) for that and if u were so dissatified u should have known it much sooner. Maybe finaces r not the only problem that is happening. Believe me the grass is not always greener on the other side. Maybe talking to a marriage councillor or even a budget manager,. Think hard and long about this ok. Good luck Curious 2006

Answer 3

Good Evening mam! Well I may not be very knowledgable at age 13 but I have gone through tons of stuff in my life. My parents split when I was 7 and me and my 6 other siblings all fell apart. You ar right on the effect a divorce would take on your kids but if you are truley a strong family you will have to work hard to pull through. My parents split because my Dad whom I hardley ever see anymore worked to much. He did support us but he wasnt there. In your case, he is there but not supporting. If you think your marrage is falling apart then you should do what you feel is best for your family. Try really hard to steer yourself away from divorce!!! It nearly destroyed me and I am still scarred from what happened. He had anger problems to. For the sake of your kids try to talk to him. Tell him you need more support but DO NOT TELL HIM YOU WERE EVEN THINKING ABOUT LEAVING HIM!! He may go balistic like my dad did. Well I am afraid this is all the info an 13 year old girl can give you. I am sorry for this event in your life. But remember God is holding your hand the whol way. Good Luck Mam!!!

Answer 4

You've described extremely big issues with your husband that have become a problem for you. If he can't provide for his family for health, emotional, or educational reasons, that's one thing; but, not wanting to provide for his family, that's terrible. If someone does not have the education to provide for his family, then one does whatever he can, including working two or more jobs to make ends meet. It's called being responsible. If a man lays around all day and doesn't want to work, leave him. Part of the deal in a marriage is that you both do your part to raise your family. You are not shallow. You are a parent who wants the best for your children. If you have to cut the cord with your husband who won't tote his lead to move on in life, then that's what you have to do. Consider it tough love. Good luck.

Answer 5

You parasite. You disgust me. You're the kind that doesn't wanna work, ha? What's wrong with you? Handicapped? Can't you, at least, try to help him? So you'd rather divorce than try to help in the financial aspect of your marriage. That's really being a partner there. To tell you the truth, I don't know what YOUR problem is. And by the way, being young and beautiful is not going to help the situation--I don't think that there's a man out there who'd wanna support a lazy person just because she's young and beautiful. It just upsets me that women like you gives us hard-working and independent woman a bad rep.

Answer 6

Women have been the pillow of this world since the beginning, you have been the Backbone of every mans success. If your Business is successful, and you feel you can do it on your own, why stay? Children have always been in the middle of any divorce, and they have always been able to manage, it is the adults that make their life hard. Do not sell the children short.

Answer 7

Yes, tell him to get himself fixed up.- first he should see a doctor -have marriage counseling and he still does not get a job tell him he is out. This is bad for you and setting a very bad example for your children. Divorce may be the best option for all of you.

Answer 8

What do you mean, he doesn't "support" you?

You're an adult. Your happiness depends on yourself.

He loves you, you even said it. And you have children together?

You say the problem is him; he doesn't support you.

The real issue, I think, is one you said yourself. "I'm young and beautiful and I feel like I'm missing out on life."

So, you want a reason to blame him for a divorce, so that you can be young and free.

I feel sorry for him.

Answer 9

tough call. but there are certainly OTHER issues to consider, not just finance. just as being blindingly wealthy won't save a marriage, struggling financially shouldn't kill an otherwise good marriage. ask yourself, what else is going on? besides the kids? besides the dinero? btw, perfection exists in no one, no man or woman. you just won't ever find that.

Answer 10

You're better off without him. People's work habits do not change and this man will always keep you in financial debt. He knows one of you will pay the bills and be the responsible one and it ain't him. Knowing you can support yourself, what do you need him around for?