So my friend just told me that he had to earse my number from his phone because his girlfriend didn't like him talking to me. I have known him and have talked to him for like a year and 3 months. I'm not really sure how i should feel about this. I'm actually a little mad because well we have been really great friends for awhile and now because his gf doens't like him talking to me he erases it.
Fine i can back off on talking to him because i do understand the gf has to come before me but to erase my number after all we've been through.
Well i guess what i'm asking is what should i do about this how should i talk to him about it or should i just drop it and not really talk to him anymore, because it looks like that this friendship we have is going down hill and it has been for the past month...
I know this might sound stupid to you but if you don't mind could you just answer it, he's been one of my best friends since i met him. Thanks in advance.
2006-09-24 09:42:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I must have over one hundred contacts in my cell phone, and many of them are females who I happen to be great friends with--it doesn't mean we're in a relationship; it means we're friends. ...although I have been in relationships with a few of them in the past, but nonetheless...
It's okay to be friends with someone of the opposite gender! I would not be upset if my [imaginary] girlfriend (I've not had a girlfriend since earlier this summer) had a few good male friends who she called frequently. It means you're friends; it doesn't mean you're maintaining several relationships on the down-low.
I don't understand why this girl is jealous enough to ask him to take your number out of his phone. This proves that she is obsessive and jealous. If I were the guy, I'd run away right then! If she can't trust him, their relationship is unhealthy.
I would call this man and ask him why he's doing this to you. Tell him that you don't think of him romantically, but his friendship and the phone calls mean a lot to you. Tell him exactly what you've written above. Remind him that the girlfriend has no need to worry about you; tell him that you are not interested in a starting that sort of relationship with him. Maybe if you reassure him that you aren't seeking to separate him and his girlfriend so that you can steal him away, he will see that his girlfriend is the one who is being unreasonable. As I say, if he understands that you aren't a threat to his relationship, he will probably end up keeping you as a contact and reassuring his girlfriend that she has got no reason to worry.
If that fails, best of luck with e-mailing him instead!
2006-09-29 10:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by aanstalokaniskiodov_nikolai 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The real issue is "just how close are you". If he was just calling you once in a while then I would say his girlfriend was being insecure and was over dominating him. However, this is the thing and please listen carefully....HE HAD YOUR PHONE NUMBER PROGRAMMED INTO HIS PHONE....It sounds like you guys were "too" close (meaning three's a crowd). I can understand why the girlfriend feels the way she does. I'm a very self-confident woman who is very secure with myself and I "totally" trust my husband. He also feels the same way. We both allow each other great freedom. However, if either of us had a phone number of the opposite sex programmed into our phones that we called often it would be annoying to the other (whether we were married or still dating seriously). The best advice I will give you is to still be pleasant when you see your friend. It's okay to call maybe once in a blue moon, but don't push it; or you will loose your friend for good. Over time things will be okay. Take my word for it. "Time heals all wounds." They didn't make that saying up for no reason at all. People say it because it is really true. Give it time and take care. :-)
*SPECIAL ATTENTION!* *SPECIAL ATTENTION!*
I also asked my husband and this is his opinion/advice: You don't realize it but you are a friend expecting "girlfriend priviledges". That means you are a borderline "friend/girlfriend" with this guy. That little button on his phone should be reserved for the girlfriend and she should be the one he calls all the time. You have 2 options: The first option is be a "true friend" and follow the original advice my wife "Just Peachy" gave you, OR the second option: Play the role of a dumped exgirlfriend with lots of scorn and loose your friend forever. Sorry, the truth hurts. :-o
**SPECIAL ATTENTION** **ONE LAST WORD FROM JUST PEACHY**
YOU HAVE HAD 9 PARTICIPANTS GIVE YOU GREAT ANSWERS/ADVICE HERE. NOW, OF ALL THINGS, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE aanstalokaniskiodov_ni's ADVICE. REMEMBER, HE'S THE TWIT WHO SPENDS HIS FREE TIME ASKING MORONIC QUESTIONS ON YAHOO Q&A, ISN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP AND CAN'T EVEN KEEP A GIRLFRIEND. I HOPE YOU HAVE MORE SENSE, VANESSA!
2006-09-27 13:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well she didn't say that you couldn't call him, anyway that is something that he will have to deal with, his g/f insecurities is his problem and the only thing you can do is tell what you think if he ask's you. Is she someone that before this you might have been a friend with? She can't be all that bad if he is dating her, maybe. He might be the reason why she said for him to erase your number, people don't know what goes on behind closed doors, he may have been using you in there arguements, like if he wanted to go somewhere and she didn't, he could have said if she was here she would go with me, you know that sort of thing. I hope I was some help, Good luck.
2006-09-24 09:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe for now it would be best if you put this friendship on hold..I can understand hie girlfriends point, she may think of you as a threat to their relationship, jealous in other words..If you truly think of him as a friend then be a friend and just back off..who knows if this relationship doesn't work out for him he may need a friend and I'm sure after a year that your phone number is implated in his head..It does hurt to loose a friend but when it's friendship between a man and woman sometimes those friendship are interupted when one gets into a relationship and the boy/girlfriend are the jealous type..which is in some cases understandable..Don't take it to heart that wasn't his intentions to hurt the friendship things just happen.He was really stuck between a rock and a hard place..and had to make a decision..
2006-09-24 09:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by Just Dreamin' 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well as you stated you have to respect the girlfriend. I am sure she was a little intimidated in her man having a female friend. He knows your number after knowing you for a year he should. I had the same thing happen to me. I mean we would talk on the phone and hanged out as friends. So he starts seeing this female and she doesn't want him to talk to me anymore. I to was hurt. I mean how could a woman he just met come into his life and make demands. Now I told him that's his choice but being the friend that I am I have to accept this. My friendship didn't end we just couldn't talk and hang out as we did before.
2006-09-24 10:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by justturning40 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you wont like this but i think you should back off. i went through this thing with my husband and his so called friend. he claims that everything was innocent, they only talked about games, and that they met on-line. i looked at it with an open mind and said i was cool with it but one day she called while i was at home and i gave him his phone, the first thing he said was "i don't know who this is they must have the wrong number." I knew better than to believe that because i had a copy of the phone record and this number showed up many times and always at the time that i was at work. I politely called her back and asked if i could help her and she was like yeah can i talk to jon. i gave him the phone and he swore up and down that he didn't know who it was. so what am i suppose to do but act a fool because he was lying to me! i don't have a problem with him talking to other people but i have a hellified problem with him lying to me. if everything was as innocent as he was claiming there shouldn't have been a problem with him talking to her while i was a home. i called her without being mean but i wanted to know what was going on. she said i was a fool and hung up. so there is a problem with phone chatting in my home.
2006-09-24 09:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by Quociana L 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your friend's girlfriend is incredibily insecure. whether your friend has done something to cause this or not, he is the one having to pay the price (and you, thru association) Unfortunately, your friend has made his decision, just be a good friend and move on. Perhaps one day he'll see the error of his ways and grow some **lls and give you a call. Until then, there is no sense getting mad, cause you can't really do anything about it anyway.
I know how hurtful it is to lose a friend this way, but unfortunately, many girls are so insecure they can't handle the idea of their bf having friends that are girls.
Good luck
2006-09-24 09:50:01 · answer #7 · answered by lolo 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. What if your bf asked you to do the same?
It's just a number, you haven't lost anything in your friendship and a least he told you! That means something.
2006-09-24 09:46:05 · answer #8 · answered by divaterry1 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it's not stupid, it hurts, all what you have to do is to drop it. he has a gf now and it was his decision to erase your number from his phone.
2006-09-24 09:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
the fact is that you can't allow the relation drift apart but you have to understand that the gf feels jealous, and if he is your friend he has to prove it right now
2006-09-24 09:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by porro 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋