my husband wants to meet up with other couples for some "fun", i'm not really sure if this is something i want to do but i'm not against it either. the thing is is that he wants me to find the couple. what should i do?
2006-09-24 09:25:38 · 23 answers · asked by Quociana L 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is tough because it goes against most peoples perception of what a couple is supposed to be....monogamous. It's a good thing that your husband is comfortable sharing his fantasy with you instead of trying to hide his desires. Have a lot of conversation with him about how he thinks the whole thing would unfold....Does he want to be secluded with the wife and leave you alone with the husband? Are all four of you supposed to jump in together? Giggle and tell him if this is exciting or if it is making you really nervous...after all you knew him before you got naked with him....Exactly what is his fantasy? Bringing two more people into your most intimate, vulnerable place may be too much to start. Ask if he has a woman in mind. Let her be his fantasy. What would please your man? Does he want both of you to pleasure him...would he be ok if you just watched? Would you be able to participate or are you frozen with fear over the possibilty that she might touch you? Suggest a man that might turn you on. Maybe if it was just him and the dude you would be more comfortable. What would he enjoy? Participating? Watching? Would it make him jealous? Is that a turn on? Once you have a mental picture of what you will and will not be comfortable with then the search will start. Who can you confide in? Obviously, just as your sex life is not a common topic of conversation, this expansion should not become something for gossips. Is there anyone with whom you are comfortable enough to present this proposition to? What do you think their reaction would be? Sometimes singles are lonely and in need of some loving....do you know anyone who could use some super TLC? Also, there are cruises and resorts just for swingers, you might want to investigate those. I'd be leery of approaching someone online about this.....too easily misinterpreted. And you need to be clear that when its all over...you go home with your husband and he goes home with you....and thanks for the diversion.....this kind of thing shouldn't happen with someone who is going to become needy and interfere with your daily lives.
2006-09-24 09:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear unfortunately this is something that alot of men and women both get into now days.. It has alot to do with the morale of people and how they really value themselves. I believe that yes it is infedelity and adultery no matter how you look at it.. Wether you both agree to it or not either way in the eyes of the Lord it is wrong.. However I will not go into that part of the subject but just within your personal self you need to take the time and reflect and think long and hard about wether this is something that you really want to do. because in the long run it could be very determental to your marriage because him or yourself could end up liking one of these other people in this fun group thing that you do and then what.. you both will have ruined a relationship and all for what a couple 10 minutes of fun with some people that you don't even know.. plus you have to take into consideration all of the diseases and such out there these days.. my question to you dear.. is Do you really want to do it? IF you don't then DO NOT DO IT.. as you will regret it in the long run.
2006-09-24 09:31:49 · answer #2 · answered by cheryl m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have sites on the Internet where other couples can meet couples in their area for fun. They have couples, or that extra man or woman. No its not cheating if your husband is there for the fun relax it might be enjoyable. I have never wanted the couple sex but to each is own
2006-09-24 09:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only cheating if it's done against the other partner's desire or behind their back...if you okay it, whether you participate or not, it's not cheating...
Check out local swinger groups in your area and meet people...they often hold parties (called Socials) where folks can mix and mingle and see whom (if anyone) they might like to "play" with...there are no obligations so if y'all don't meet anyone appealing (or you or he decide it's not your thing after all) then you go home and no harm done...
Give careful consideration to bringing others into your relationship sexually though...if there's any type of jealousy or insecurity present already, bringing in others will exacerbate that...y'all need to be completely secure in your relationship before swinging or adding a playmate...
Also, make sure if y'all try it and either one of you decides you don't want to do it anymore, that it will be okay with the other partner and that'll be that...no future pressure or hints to go for it again...
2006-09-24 09:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's called swinging if you get together with another couple and swap partners for a night, or anything like that. it's not cheating if you are both COMPLETELY okay with it, but give it some serious thought and consider how you'll feel to think that your husband has been with someone else and so have you and so on. also consider the fact that the man you are with will have i wife. I think it sounds creepy, personally.
2006-09-24 09:56:39 · answer #5 · answered by beneaththemangotree12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from this being cheating(that's my opinion), this is already sick---any guy who wants to do couples has a problem. When you get married you are supposed to be the ones for each other and I do not see why your hubby wants to have this kind of fun and then wants you to find the couples--no way. If mine had asked me for something like this I would have left him the very moment he talked about it....
2006-09-24 09:29:39 · answer #6 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a lifestyle choice that you both need to be prepared for. I have had two couples I am close to who have had their marriages fall apart because of "swinging". If you have any doubt which is sounds like you do I would stay far away from this. There are other ways you can spice up your sex life without having to involve other people. Good luck.
2006-09-24 09:29:57 · answer #7 · answered by superrrmodel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is cheating. Someone always gets emotional about it. There is no right or wrong way to have multipul partners. If you are married, dont do it. My ex and I were the most open people in the world, and then we had an orgy, it was great for me, but he got really jealous
Lesson learned. My veiws have changed, and if you fall for the threesome line then you need more than attention
2006-09-24 09:28:26 · answer #8 · answered by abbienikol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not so sure you should take it slow. start by finding a willing couple and just go hang out with them just like dating.once you get in to it you will have fun. i do
2006-09-24 09:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not cheating if you do it together. He is probably asking you to find the couple to make you feel more comfortable.
2006-09-24 09:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by de19952 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋