My friend whom i've been friends with for a while does some bi-sexual things to me sometime. But she continues to run the phrase of "she's my sister" "we're sisters" in the ground. Meaning she throws this phrase around alot. I know that a lot of girls get close enough to the point where they feel like sisters, but she does certain things that my other close friends would never do to me. Her actions sometimes makes me wonder. My question why do some lesbians, gays or bi call their mate or a person they are interested in their relative? I've noticed this from other relationships. Could she be in denial or scared?
And I would never change the way I feel towards her reguardless of what she chooses. She's my friend and I love her no matter what
2006-09-24 08:40:41 · 13 answers · asked by datgagirl87 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It's definitely a protection thing. Early in my career, before I really came out to others beside my family, I used to call my partner my cousin. This helped explain my living with another woman easier in the tight laced community I was in. Once I switched careers and moved to a much more open city, she was my partner to everyone we met. It also helped that we were much older and more secure in our relationship thus able to thwart any sticks and stones we got. It sounds like your friend is in denial of her feelings. You say that you would never change your feelings toward her. Have you told her this? But again, as others have said, don't do anything with her that makes you feel uncomfortable just because you love her as a friend. This is being used and don't let it happen. No one will protect you better than yourself. Help your friend if you can. Good luck to both of you.
2006-09-24 09:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by truckinotter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, hetersexual people call each other Mommy or Daddy, hence the phrase "Who's Your Daddy?"
Also some homosexual people and ethnic groups use the term "sister" or "brother" to imply that that person is in the same group with them. Like a lesbian might say you are her sister to mean that she considers you to be a lesbian also.
On the other hand, a lot of close friends consider themselves siblings too. She might just think you guys are really close.
She could be in denial or scared. The best thing to do in either case is not to accuse her or confront her. Just continue being nice to her and letting her know that you will be her friend no matter what and that you will help her through any problems or issues she has.
2006-09-24 08:48:39 · answer #2 · answered by Allison Y 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by bisexual? That's not really a term that's used to describe homosexual activity. Do you mean she tries to kiss you or touch you?
One reason that she tells people she's your sister is possibly because she truly does value you as a friend and by telling people you're related it adds to the closeness she feels with you.
You sound like you're obviously uncomfortable with the situation and if that is, in fact, the case you must tell her. Lay everything out there and say I'm not comfortable with you trying to do ___ to me and while I appreciate that you love me I'm not sure why you tell everyone I'm your sister. Make sure she understands that you really care for her as a friend, but that this sort of behavior makes you very uncomfortable. She should understand.
You sound like you're pretty young and so it could be that she's trying to figure out her sexuality, just like we all do. But as her friend, she needs to understand that there are certain boundaries and a respect that needs to be had from both of you for those boundaries.
Good luck!
2006-09-24 08:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by Stina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your fomfort level of what is happening: She may be using the term "sisters" as a way of control as some people do in incestual situations. . . If you are uncomfortable with what she is "doing" to you then this is not healthy and you should find some help.
However, she may use the term "Sister" to allow her to feel comfortable experimenting with you without feeling like she has truly made a decision about her sexuality because she feels safe in your closeness of your relationship.
2006-09-24 08:46:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what sort of actions did she do? like did she french kiss you? or try to feel you up?
Personally i kiss all my close friends or get hugged when i sleep on the same bed as them but neither parties felt sexually attracted to each other. However I've lost several friends who thought that i was sexually attracted to them even though i said i wasn't and after several years of thinking about it, i still wasn't. it's their lost and i believe some people don't like being touched or don't liked the person enough to be touched by that person. i dislike it when anyone besides my close friends and family members tries to touch me.
What you could do is to
set boundaries by telling her nicely that you don't enjoy her calling you this and that and touching you in certain ways. if she doesn't stop tell her sternly and repeatedly. if she's too smothering, tell her to back off a bit coz it's out of your comfort zone, not that you like her any less.
i hope this helps.
2006-09-24 09:19:02 · answer #5 · answered by Langdon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is bizarre in that you may be in denial yourself, if you allow her to do bi-sexual things to you aren't you telling her its ok. and if its not ok why do you consider her a friend, she is raping you. Get her charged, that is not a friend you have there but someone who exploits you. If you don't want her to touch you let her know in no uncertain terms have a back bone for goodness sake or your just going to continue being a robot, for what her satisfaction, relationships are two way streets you both have to have respect for each other. Just because you are friends doesn't mean you have to be gay just because she is or accept her bi behaviour, if you are a true friend you will be honest about it. It all sounds too gross for words to me.
2006-09-24 08:49:19 · answer #6 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know about all gay people reffering their lovers are relitivesm but if they don't want to tell people that they are gay and this is their lover, then obviously, saying this is my brother or sister, comes in quite handy, and everybody is different, maybe she just feels like yall are close and she feels the need to say it, either way, your right, you should love her and care about her your own way, wether it be in that way, or just friends, but if she starts comming on to you, then let her know what your feeling, but also let her know you still vaule your friendship
2006-09-24 08:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should touch you to the point where you have to question their motive. If you are uncomfortable then get out of the relationship. Either say "hands off" or move on to friends that treat you respectful.
2006-09-24 08:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by Gail B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you don't like all the sister stuff, you are not her sister, more than a friend and to degrade your relationship is insulting to you.
2006-09-24 08:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As two girls who love each other you should both be relieved. You should sleep over on some special occasion and initiate a tickle fight with your "relative" when you both are near to undressed as you can get. It will serve to break the ice and you both can open up to each other and find out what's on each others mind.
2006-09-24 08:46:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋