dated a guy on and off for 6 years. after broke up ran into him for 2 years straight at christmas. He left and went away to college but we kept in touch. I started seeing someone else and got engaged to him. a few weeks before i got married i called him and told him i still loved him. He didn't respond that night. My mother told me recently that he tried to call everyday after that for months, but she always said I wasn't there, and he always said to have me call him back. Now, I am miserable and can't get him out of my head. I want to contact him, but he is married now with 2 kiids. I am also still married, but not happily. It has been a long time, but God keeps putting signs out that say to contact him. Help!!! I know I should leave this alone, but I don't think I can...
2006-09-24 08:34:17 · 31 answers · asked by kay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
contact him, start out slow, then move in for the kill, if you really want to do it and you can live with being a homewrecker then go for it
2006-09-24 08:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Quit being selfish and leave it alone. He has 2 kids now that need 2 parents. They didn't ask to be born, but they were. Now it's time to grow up and leave him alone.. If you put as much energy into what you have instead of pining for someone unavailable, you may not be unhappily married. Life and marriage are what you make it. If you don't make the effort, you won't get the results. Your ex deserves to live his life with out the drama of a seperated family. Move on and try to make your marrige work instead.
2006-09-24 15:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got married--for the better or the worse...he got married, also for the better or the worse.....he has 2 children and why would you want them to lose their fater? Love is unselfish. Love will not ask a man to leave his children to be with you...so think about what you really want to do....what about your husband? You are not happy because you think you made a mistake, and because you think like that you never really gave your marriage a good chance....plus, you did not mention children...but if you have any, what about them????? The best thing to do is to leave the past in the past and move on now and try to either make your marriage work without that forbidden fruit in mind, or to leave without trying to break the other marriage....everything else is being selfish....Good Luck
2006-09-24 15:41:39 · answer #3 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First don't get a divorce!!!! Cause you don't know if he will, He has 2 children c'mon! He has a family you think he's gonna leave that cause I don't. Get your number changed whatever you do don't get a divorce untill you talked it over with this other guy. Anyway you don't wanna break up a family do you, I may be young but i got married at 18 and now I'm 19 and i already got a divorce last june. So just leave this guy alone, he's nothin but a crush.
2006-09-24 15:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by pimp132 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is happily married you cannot break up his marriage, don't even try because trying to make someone eles life miserable just because yours is will make you even more miserable. As painful as it sounds you may want to get divorced if you are unhappy. Unless you just think the grass is greener on the other side, cause it isn't, especially if you are thinking this guy is going to make you happy or complete your life. You have to get happy with yourself, your life, your personal relationships. Have interests, hobbies, spirtuality before you can truly be happy with another person. So if you are truly happy with Yourself and not your husband then leave him. Life is too short and it is not doing him any good if you are not in love with him..You will find someone that you love and that will love you back if you love yourself...
2006-09-24 15:42:15 · answer #5 · answered by girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one ever wants to be a homewrecker. If you are not happily married, then you should get out of your relationship and see where life takes you. You mentioned that he is married with kids, take the children into consideration. It's harder on children to go through a divorce, than it is on the parents. You never know, he may not be happy in his marriage, either....but take the time to get things straightened out with you before you even think about what could happen next with him. Just my opinion :-)
2006-09-24 15:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you're not happy in your marriage maybe you need to address that problem first. just because the guy has tried to contact you doesn't necessarily mean that he is trying to rekindle the relationship that the two of you shared in the past, he could just be looking for someone to talk to that already understands him. i don't see anything wrong with talking to him but i wouldn't end my marriage just because an old flame came a calling. you really need to be sure that your marriage is over or are you just having a rough time for now. be sure that you have yourself together and be prepared to accept the possibility that your old beau is just looking for conversation.
on the other hand maybe he isn't happy with his life either! but that doesn't necessarily mean that the two of you will hook up and live happily ever after.
make yourself happy first then the rest will come to you.
2006-09-24 15:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by Quociana L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try putting him out of your mind and focus on your husband and family right now. Remember why you married your husband in the first place. Assess how he treats you and decide if he loves you. The grass isn't always greener you know and the fact the old boyfriend hasn't contacted you back may mean he is over you.
2006-09-24 15:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you only want to be with him because you are wondering if the feelings are still there. That spark that you once shared. Since you have a family now I wouldn't ruin it for someone else. Try and work on your relationship with your current husband. I know that most kids would rather have their parents together and happy then have them divorced.
2006-09-24 15:37:26 · answer #9 · answered by kvsmiller 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God is not giving you any signs. You're only seeing what you want to see. How would you feel if some scheming tramp was trying to break up your marriage? Oh, and by the way, I'm an Atheist....you really seem to be making the 'christians' look bad. That doesn't seem like very 'christian' behavior to me!
2006-09-24 15:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that first and foremost, when you let it go at that moment in time, you made a mistake. what if he's happily married now? it would be completely unfair that you would try to break his marriage. and just because he tried to reach you for a prolonged period of time doesn't mean that he wants to leave his family behind and be with you. you can't regret the mistakes you've made, but i'd suggest not making anymore.
2006-09-24 15:37:29 · answer #11 · answered by nadiaz888 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋