why does it become psychological warfare and a battle of the wills
2006-09-24 08:19:09 · 25 answers · asked by neil d 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's called communication. Observe what your woman does in a day. She goes to work, does the groceries, the laundry,cooks, does the dishes, keeps the house, pays the bills, maintains the car and takes out the trash.....am I close? Day to day activities of living rob couples of precious time. See what you can do to make sure that down time happens at home at ____ o'clock. If you're watching TV and she's still at it then you need to get up. See to it that the things she knows have to be done are done together so that she can take a bath, unwind, let her mind wander to how lucky she is to have you as a partner, and start to want you. She does not know how to express her frustration and exhaustion to you. She does not know how to say being the doormat is not romantic. Start making efforts to earn her trust and respect. You may have to let her vent the first couple of times you share chores with her.. as she will view this as out of character and completely unfamiliar. Anticipate things that will please her. Bring her a trinket and stay by her side with the mundane chores until it is time to chill. (This is a good time to just share the day....we women consider it foreplay...) This is when you begin to renew your friendship, share a laugh. Remember how it used to make you feel when you thought you had pleased her. Assure her that anything undone will wait until both of you can address it tomorrow. She will begin to remember why she thought you were Mr. Wonderful and longed to be your wife. She will begin to view you as someone who values her. She will have enough pressure relieved to be able to get in touch with the sexual woman she wanted to share with only you. Be friends with her. Show her a man she can respect and trust, who can be mature with his daily decision making and takes her well being into consideration. When she looks at you through these eyes she cannot help but feel love for you. And she won't be too exhausted to express that love. You'll get a great lover in the sack and she will have the partner she knew you would be.
Also, when you decide you want down time outside of the home she'll be more receptive if she isn't being left with all the work, and can have a little down time, too...maybe she'll paint her nails and find that lingerie that got tossed before she got her man back.....the one you like.....
2006-09-24 08:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I got married at the age of 18 to a girl who i hardly knew abroad. For all of them stories saying that arranged marriages do not work, THEY DO.
But then it also comes down to how the two individuals are, in terms of mentality, character and personality. My wife is at college at the moment studying law and psychology while i am currently in training to become a architect.
I couldnt be happier with my wife, we are best friends and have jokes, fun, and also share each others happiness and sadness - companions.
2006-09-24 15:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by Conspicuously Inconspicuous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5th august this year. Our relationship was psychological warfare and a battle of wills before we got married... ;)
2006-09-24 16:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to get to that point. My advice has always been that if two people get to the point that it is all out warfare, then its time for a divorce.
Get to know, REALLY KNOW your spouse before getting married, have realistic expectations about what life is about. Also consider that most couples will emulate what they saw as children from their parents. Thus, counseling may help.
2006-09-24 15:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by Frogface53 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
couldn't tell ya man.....im not even married and my boyfriend and i are the same way sort-of...we have been together for 3 years and have two children. I think it is just something that happens after ya'll have been together soooo long and then marrage is a pressure when income is combined and shared as to when it was your's and her's money.
2006-09-24 15:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by buggs_snails_puppytails 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a lack of understanding of what marriage is, instead of a joining of self to the union, the individual is trying for supremacy. It becomes a time of "I'm right" at every turn instead of "Whats best for us". People ought to marry when their goals agree, not just their gonads.
2006-09-24 15:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because some people fail to recognize the person and only see the sex which wears down soon enough and they begin to look outside of the home for peace.
2006-09-24 15:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happens to couples who didn't really know each other well enough before they got married. Certainly not all , or even the majority of married couples that I know are like that. But it certainly can happen. Good Luck ! :)
2006-09-24 15:21:01 · answer #8 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but I think there is a depression and struggle for independance period. I just "celebrated" my 1 year anniversary and I will tell you I am just now becoming tolerant of my husband.
2006-09-24 15:21:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean....thats probably why i myself am not married cause ive heard how it all changes once you become man and wife!....ive been living in sin now for the last 15 years so why should it be spoilt by getting married?...we are happy enough so i think we will stay as we are!
2006-09-25 04:52:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋