ok.here's the problem.i like a guy in my new college & he know's that.but whenever i chat with him online,he seems so depressed giving answers like "it's ****,crap,sucks,bitchy,not good" etc. whenever i ask him how he is.there doesn't seem 2 be a day when he doesn't feel good.but at school he can hide it very well under a smile.& he had told me once that he doesn't want to be helped.apparently he's been hurt a lot esp. by his past gf's.
so,my question is how should i act with a guy like this?should i just continue being friends with him & try to help him?or tell him that i like him a.s.a.p.pls explain how i should make my moves...
thanks for all the answers!
p.s.i have known him for only a short period of time...
2006-09-24 08:08:59 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like he's been through a lot, but it seems to have taken the best of him. And it sounds like he's ok with seeing the glass half empty.
I would suggest the best thing you can do is, first and foremost, be a friend. Show him that you'll always be there. Get him out of the house and have fun together. Sometimes... all it takes is being able to identify with one person - to see things differently.
And... if he see's the good in you... perhaps it will develop into more.
Also keep in mind that - he may harbor the exact same feelings for you... but he might be expecting you to hurt him too.
It's hard to build trust... but that's a bottom line. If you can secure that foundation with him... the possibilities are endless.
Best of luck!
2006-09-24 08:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by apinkfreak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like he has way too many issues. Find someone else to like. It is ok to maintain a distant friendship, but don't get involved. No good can come from a relationship with this guy. I've dated the uber-depressed guys with too much baggage before. It always turned out to be a total nightmare. And believe me, you CAN'T help him, so don't even try.
2006-09-24 15:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should look for another guy...being around negative individuals will only make you feel bitter and depressed also! Stay uplifted and positive...also any relationship with him in the near future might result in abuse directed towards the other sex...I would stand clear of him, clearly he has deep seated issues with the female orientation! Men shouldnt even mention those kinds of words around women...akward situation!
2006-09-24 15:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Piyumi, first you are a nice person to reach out to him. Believe me when I tell you this, it has nothing to do with you. He sounds like he is chronically depressed. If you want to help him just keep talking to him, but realize that it's highly likely he won't change quickly. He needs people like you to be his friend. You are being very kind in reaching out to him. But he really isn't good boy friend material until he gets help for his depression. So don't shun him completely, just be friendly, but realize that you should not get involved with a chronically depressed person.
2006-09-24 15:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's told you once that he doesn't want to be helped then take him at his word. Maybe "he's just not that into you" and when he's online gives answers that make him appear to not be doing good so he can discourage you. He smiles at school because he doesn't want to be rude to your face. I would just be friendly to him but don't tell him that you like him romantically or make any moves on him.
2006-09-24 15:13:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just act cheerful and charming. Sometime it's bound to rub off on him. When he's sad, go get together with him and comfort him. But when you guys get to know each other better, tell him how you feel. And how you know his past gf's have been terrible, but you want to give a relationship a chance.
2006-09-24 15:14:37 · answer #6 · answered by Vshak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has some serious issues.
you should continue being his friend, if you can, help him if & when he is receptive to you & your ideas.
You should not attempt to tell this guy how you feel, you'll be in for a let down.
Just be there & be his friend for now, sounds like he doesn't need a girl friend right now just a friend.
You can't go wrong by just being there & listening.
2006-09-24 15:17:45 · answer #7 · answered by Craig W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you can't help. a man is strange to figure out. you say he hides it with a smile. well, good but not good. good- because a smile brightens up someone elses day but not good because he's hurting deep inside. a man don't want to express themselves all the time. the best way to help him is to just keep a friendship level and don't take it any farther.
2006-09-24 15:14:20 · answer #8 · answered by slimchuckie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be a friend to him and he will snap out of it eventually. Try doing things with him. Like ask him out for coffee.
2006-09-24 15:12:42 · answer #9 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him online as this is where he feels he can express himself, in public its just a front, gain his confidence, ask him about what he said on line. be patient, you never know what he's been thru
good luck
2006-09-24 15:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by baconbuttyman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋