Waiting for misarriage - what would you do?

Question

Unfortunately my scan on Friday showed no heartbeat so now I have to wait as I haven't yet miscarried. The scan lady said there was the possibility that I would be offered a D&C or a pill to start the miscarriage. Has anyone had either of these? What do you think? The baby was 8w5d (though I wasn't sure of my dates and my daughter was born big so there's a chance that's too far). How long will recovery take? Can I go to work? Will I be in bed?

Thanks, the not knowing is making it worse.

Diane - I agree with you. but apparently it's 'bad timing' on a Friday afternoon as everyone's gone home until Monday!

Answer 1

I'm sorry about your baby. I have had 3 miscarriages before having my son. I have had to have 2 D&Cs and I was able to go back to work a couple of days later. You should rest most of the day that you have it done.

Answer 2

What you are experiencing is called a missed miscarriage. Its when the baby stops developing and dies in the womb. Your body has not yet recognised that. It would given time and then you would either pass it naturally (you could run the risk of infection if it takes too long)or you would need a D&C. In my first pregnancy I started bleeding at 7 weeks and was put on bed rest. I was still bleeding at 9 weeks and a scan showed the baby was only 5 weeks gestation. I miscarried naturally a week later. So it took 5 weeks for my body to realise it was not developing. I experienced a missed miscarriage just over a month ago. I went for a scan at 9 weeks and was told there was no heartbeat. I had a D&C the following day. The hospital I was in did not offer the pill to induce miscarriage as they said it was not always sucessful and could still result in a D&C having to be performed.

The D&C only takes about 4 minutes to do under general anastetic, you will experience blood loss for around 7-10 days. The emotional side takes longer. I took 3 weeks off work but each person is different. I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your expereince. Heartbeats generally show at around 6 weeks so there won't be a chance of finding one now.

If they opt for the pill, you will be given a pill & pessary which will induce labour. You will need to stay in hospital until the baby is born. This can take a few hours or even overnight. Your baby will be treated with the upmost respect as this happens everyday in most hospitals.

Recovery from this can be very quick. You wouldn't be advised to drive home from the hospital but you should be back in work within a day or two. All of this would be explained to you further when you attend the clinic.

A D&C is very different. I have had three, and although they were done as day cases, I was off work for a week afterwards (you have to take the emotional side of it into account). I was quite sore after these but I had all three of them within a month due to twin ectopic but they only new of the one of them.

Unfortunatley it will be your consultants choice on which method to use. I wish you the best of luck for your future.

Good luck :-)

Answer 4

i had a miscarriage last September and had a D/C. I went in to hospital for the day and it was not painfull and over quickly. I was just tired and emotional when I came home. I was 11wks. I took 2wks off from work after and took a holiday. I did not have to stay in bed but went back due to being upset. I tryed for another baby and caught 3mths later and expecting this October 4wks left. So although you feel terrible now it will get better I promise and the D/C is nothing to worry about. I was glad I chose to have this done as I could move on. Take care my thoughts are with you.

Lots of love and hugs Sue

Answer 5

I feel for you. I went through this with my first pregnancy: a missed miscarriage. I was just over 9 weeks. I had the D&C with general anasthesia and was physically fine immediately afterwards. I was also glad that I wasn't walking around with a baby who ahd died inside me. It's VERY depressing, and you will start healing emotionally sooner if you go for the D&C. What happens is they make you dilate and then take out all the contents of the uterus. They have the baby analysed to see if there was any underlying cause to the miscarriage or if it had just happened. It is usually caused by some fatal genetic mistake in the baby and it's better off having died rather than eventually being born and having all sorts of horrible problems. My husband and I used this unsuccessful unplanned pregnancy as an indication that we were ready for and wanted a family. If you can resolve this with yourself, it will help. You have one child, so you know that you can take a pregnancy to term.
This is a lot more common than one would have you believe. I know of SEVERAL other women who have also had this missed miscarriage. Most have gone ahead with the D&C. An argument against it is that, if you allow the body to complete the miscarriage itself, your hormones will return to normal more gradually. I say bollocks to that. Also, be sure to check back with your OB-GYN 4 weeks after the procedure, and it would be a good idea to check for chlamydia and other problems (mycoplasma, bacteria), just in case. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 6

Don't let them do this to you!
I had a miscarriage with twins at three months-and I found out at my first scan that they were both dead and I only found out later that it was caused by food poisoning.
I don't live in the UK so I believe the system is different.
I had to go back to the hospital to have the operation done two days after they were aware of this
Don't wait if possible, try to get this resolved as quickly as possible.
Its the worst possible thing to happen to a woman and the waiting can only but make it worse.
Good Luck for you and all the woman in this position
I can only pray that you are blessed with another baby asap

Answer 7

Hi hon
Firstly, so sorry for your loss. I miscarried when i was nearly 12 weeks, and found out that the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks.

Thankfully my hospital started treatment off as soon as they had confirmed things on the scan.

I can comment on both treatments as I ended up having both.

They didn't really explain about the pill properly and i went for that, trying to avoid an op. I spent a week in a lot of pain (effectively it brings on very early labour). I ended up having to go back to the hospital for better pain relief. At the end of the week I went back in for another scan and was told that it hadn't completely worked, so was scheduled for an ERPC (D&C).

I found out that medical management (the pill) of a missed miscarriage is only 80% effective.

I then had my ERPC, and after a week came back and found out that THAT hadn't worked properly either. I ended up with a second ERPC which finally cleared things.

Basically, both options aren't foolproof, but to be honest I wished I had just gone for the ERPC straight away. With a D&C you don't have to have the added trauma of waiting to pass the foetus - to be honest I don't think I could have coped with that.

I would recommend going for operation rather than medical management.

With the D&C I took a couple of days off and went back to work, whereas with medical management I was literally lying on the bed groaning.

I did bleed for a few weeks after, but it was manageable with pads.

HUGS hon...hope this helps a bit, just make sure you have enough people who love you around to give you hugs when you need them.

Atom

Answer 8

If it dosen't happen soon then they will most likely do a d&c on you. I am sorry for your loss as i know how it feels to miscarry a baby.

I had a natural miscarriage which hurt so much and kept me laying down for about a week and i have had a d&c done also (for another reason other than miscarriage) and that will make you bleed for a few days and make you feel kind of bad but i would say about a week you will be fine (body wise)

Don't blame yourself for what is happening. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be.

http://www.miscarriagesupportaucklandinc.com

Answer 9

I lost a baby at about 10 wks. I went to the scan unit as i was bleeding and was told there was no heartbeat. It took another 4 days before i actually miscarried and i was in a lot of pain for most of that time. I was only given some strong painkillers, no other pills.

Answer 10

sorry to hear that, i`ve had 4 miscarrages and this happened to me once. i got blood tests and they said i was still pregnant so i had to wait a week and go back for another scan!! the next week,nothing had happened and scan still showed no heartbeat so i was told it would come away naturally and to give it another week! it eventually did happen but there was nearly 4 weeks of waiting which i think was terrible,then it wasn`t very nice when it did happen so i would highly reccomend you to ask for a d&c if nothing happens in the next few days!!! physically you should be fine you shouldn`t need bed rest and will be able to go back to work soon but you may be a bit emotional so make sure you have support and don`t bottle things up!!! hope you are okay and if you need someone to talk to,feel free to email. keep your chin up, if it is any consolation,after each miscarrage,i fell pregnant very quickly and had perfect pregnancies but if you don`t want to fall again,make sure to use protection coz you will fall pregnant very easily at this time!!! xx

Answer 11

This has happened to my friend twice this year , her pregnancies never got past 10 weeks and on both occasions babies hearts had stopped but she never bled and babies were still in the womb , she was given a tablet to take so that nature would expel the foetuses , it took a few days after taking that pill before she miscarried but she was in pain most of them time , physically and mentally .

Sorry for your loss , i have also miscarried before and the pain is indescribable but i went on to have 3 babies after mine . Good luck for the future and i`m sure you will be blessed with a baby ..