No, I am not feeling sorry for myself. My failures are facts of the life I've lived. I was unwanted and abused as a child. I married young and stupidly, and then raised two children on my own, mostly in poverty. One child prospered, one did not. I lost many teeth in an accident, and my terrible smile limited social and work opportunities. I've worked exceptionally hard, often holding down two-three jobs, and even got a two year degree, but have never been able to escape the lower class. I could never afford my most basic dream, which was to own a home of my own, or my bigger dream, which was to be a successful writer. Publishers simply do not think my work would sell.
Those are the saddest of the facts. On the plus side, I have a beautiful daughter who brings much joy, and pets that I love, and shelves full of books I treasure. And yes, I have about twenty years left to live. Given the past, what suggestions do you have to create a more redeeming and fulfilling future?
2006-09-24 08:00:05 · 18 answers · asked by Cynanon 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sounds like you have a nice life (and I'm not just saying that). After all, you tried to give your children the best life possible (not easy raising kids as a single parent, and you can't be faulted for how the son turned out after he left your house - he has to take responsibility for his own mistakes). You have an associate's degree (no small feat!) and you have wonderful pets and a fantastic daughter. I got married young, too, and it didn't turn out well, either. I'm sorry about your smile - I've got teeth missing too, from a genetic disorder. I've learned that most people don't notice your teeth (not like I thought when I was younger - when I thought everyone was staring).
Now is a great time to decide what you really want. If no one will publish your book, how about publishing it yourself?
Here's a website about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-publishing. You can still follow your dream even if some publisher doesn't think your work will sell. It doesn't even have to cost too much to publish a few copies, and try to get some local bookstores to carry them. A friend of mine wanted to be a recording artist, but couldn't find a record label to sign him. He bought the equipment, and made his own studio! He copied his own CDs, convinced local music stores to sell them, and while he doesn't make much of a profit, he is insanely happy with himself.
As far as the house thing goes...have you looked into applying for a loan, or have you just assumed that you couldn't qualify? You'd be suprised how many first-time homebuyer's programs there are, even for those with average or poor credit. If housing prices are too high where you live, you can always move to a place with a cheaper cost of living. In Alabama, I live in one of the more expensive college towns, and I can still get a 2 bedroom home for under $80,000. Granted, it may not be in the best condition, but it would be yours!
The teeth can be a challenge. My only idea would be to either find a wonderful dentist that will take a payment plan (hard to find), slowly save up enough money to get the work done, or check out a dental school. They will do the work for a lot less than the average clinic, and the instructors oversee the work. If you think about it, these students will do a better job than the average dentist, because they are trying to pass the school, not just earn a bit more money.
You shouldn't give up on your dreams; you can make them happen!
Hope this helps (from someone who's been there)
2006-09-24 08:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by rita_alabama 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The lives we live can break us or make us stronger. I was born into poverty, father an alcoholic. We lived in shacks, us kids had no shoes to wear we were made fun of. I was also abused as a child, but I made it. And my teeth Bad! What was left my alcoholic husband knocked out. I quit school, I was a confused and angry teen. I got my GED and went to college2 years. I have a beautiful daughter. I am not rich now either.But I have more than I had yesterday.
These experiences make people like me and you strong, we had to find the light at the end of the tunnel. When I look at some people who had it easy, I think. I've live it all, and I have made it thru. That makes me feel good. It sounds like you made it too.
Good for us!
And you have done more than you give yourself credit for, think about that for the next 20 years, you might live another 50. Your a surivivor. It is not so much what we accomplish in the world as it is what we see within ourselves!
So enjoy your daughter, escape in your books, Pets are your best friends. And think of your life as, well done, you are a better person for having lived thru it!
2006-09-24 18:29:38 · answer #2 · answered by dancinintherain 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How in the world do you know you have twenty years to live? Hate to break it to you but you could fall down dead today! Geez. Such a statement. You ask this questions about finding fulfillment in YOUR life. YOU are the only one who knows what you need to nurture your soul (and I don't mean you have to get religious). Spend some time defining yourself by who you are and what you want. You are defining your life by the crap that has been dealt to you (and we ALL have our crap). Stop looking at the past and defining yourself. Stand up today and become the real you. Live as the real you. Stand up straight, look people in the eye. Why let them define who you are and that you don't belong........because what? you have some teeth missing? You're not the only one and I don't care if you lost all your teeth. That may be what people see at first but let them see YOU! And suddenly you aren't the person with no teeth but utterly and simply YOU.
And by the way I live in a town of about 80,000 and we have a clinic that gives free dental care. But even better about an hour and half away is a town of 1/2 million and they have a dental college that gives free and reduced treatment to people and they even do dentures. Find your nearest dental college and CALL them. Take control. You can do it!
2006-09-26 07:14:02 · answer #3 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you and what is your health like? Do you have the ability to save any of the money you are now earning? The first thing I would do, would be to get those teeth fixed somehow, they appear to be a big personal problem. The second thing I would do, is to go back to your writing. If you are an artist, then who cares if a publisher buys your books. Try your life story as a topic. One more thing you could do is to volunteer someplace that would make you feel warm and fuzzy.
But try to value the things that you have accomplished. Having a daughter that you are proud of is huge. Many people never get that out of life.
2006-09-24 08:16:11 · answer #4 · answered by Scott K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot view the rest of your life as a way to correct what you call your failures. You should now spend the next 20 years enjoying the very little things. A walk in the sunshine, watching people (good and bad), your daughter and the smiles she gives you. Don't look at the big things (career, failed marriage, etc.). They are mundane and meaningless at this point. Everyday, find three things that make you smile. Twenty years times three smiles a day...that's a lot of smiles. Be happy.
2006-09-24 08:06:28 · answer #5 · answered by just browsin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my first impression while reading your question was that you are a gifted writer with a true ability to communicate in text. do not give up on that! you said yourself, your biggest dream has been to be a successful writer. do you know how huge it is that you can even still isolate/name that dream? dreams are everything in life. we really don't die spiritually until we let go of our dreams. but once we do let go of them, isn't spiritual death inevitable? you say yourself that you have about 20 years left. SEIZE that time! live your dream of being a writer. like someone else here said, keep trying until it works. never give up... or you may as well end that 20 years before it's up. try a new angle. live some new experiences to give yourself new writing material. take a writing class. meet new people who have a fresh take on a new subject you never thought of before. go skydiving! what you need is inspiration, and something to take you out of your rut. you definitely named some positive things in your life... you do know they're there. harness that energy and use it. it's all up to you.
2006-09-24 08:30:00 · answer #6 · answered by melon_rose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you know anything about Abraham Lincoln he NEVER gave up on becoming President of the U.S. So why would you give up your dreams. Keep writing and submitting your work. If you change your attitude, to I can have my work published, because it is great, from Why should I submit it when it won't get publish, you will have a better chance in fulfilling your dream. Since you enjoy reading so much try reading: Louise Hay, You can heal your life. This is an awesome read and well worth it. It will change your life if you follow her directions. I promise you that.
Good Luck and God Bless you
PS KEEP YOUR DREAMS ALIVE AND WELL!!
2006-09-24 08:11:59 · answer #7 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see that attire. I see a wonderful, talented, funny man. I love ya just the way you are, ((((((((((Jack)))))))))). No religion, no disease can change that. And, to be honest, I don't give a rat's asss what any religion has to say about HIV - or homosexuality. So, I can't really say how it's been influenced by it. Overall, religion continues to be popular in a day and age when humanity should be past such archaic thinking because people love to have an excuse to judge others - at least, this applies to the Abrahamic religions. And, I say "screw 'em".
2016-03-27 07:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, from what I have read, you have not failed at anything. You much better than what other people have done when raising a child on you own. You can look into new things that make you happy now.
2006-09-24 08:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by j.tech_77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your dilemma in just about all facets.
I continue to write if for no other reason than a release.
Are you perhaps asking what is the meaning of life, is this really all there is.
I assure you that if you sit down and just start writing the answer is within you.
2006-09-24 08:29:25 · answer #10 · answered by drg5609 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋