i think he's addicted to alcohol. he's 6ft (180cm), weighs 100kg. he drinks 2 standard drinks nightly and 6-8 standard drinks weekly. he drinks to relieve tension, socialise & enjoy sports. to me it seems just an excuse to drink. is that harsh? he doesn't drink at my house as i don't drink but at his home, will have wine or beers before going to bed. he wants to lose weight & save up so i suggested cutting out the alcohol as it's an expensive venture financially & health-wise. i'm concerned though, that it's just one of his many addictive traits.
i think he's also addicted to porn. is a collection of ~40 X-rated pornos excessive? is it normal to watch one every night?
worst of all i think i'm an addiction too. we broke up a month ago coz he beat me during an argument & i had to go to Emergency. but he is begging for us to get back together. why? i don't think he loves me so why does he want me back? he always said i make him miserable then why ask for me back?
i'm very confused..
2006-09-24 07:55:25 · 6 answers · asked by noodlemcgoo 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
the violence a month ago was not the 1st time, but just the 1st time i landed in emergency with a broken finger. he'd been violent for 18 months, usually it stopped after a few pushes and shoves. but the point is, i'm tired of it. he says he is sorry, ashamed, was crying etc.
at this point i am just very sceptical of the sincerity in his declared affections. he seems to be doing all the right things, saying the right words but i feel bad for being closed up to him. i tried for a long time to give him the benefit of a doubt, forgive him etc. but am past that now.
why is it said that it's hard for people to change?
this is hard for me because he can also be the sweetest, caring and affectionate person. my biggest struggle at the moment is whether he is a well behaved psychotic or a sweet person with huge problems?
i can't be objective, i'm not on the outside, hence asking here for opinions.
2006-09-24 09:04:25 · update #1
Get out immediately. I've been there and done that and looking back now I can see it was such a waste of my time.
You have the choice to control your life and that means to invite people into it that make you feel happy.
If you get back together with him question yourself about what you are getting from the relationship. Is it just the connection to someone? Do you like the drama? Do you believe you can change him? You may be trying to control this situation to heal a past pain. The answer to the last question is a definite "no." You cannot change him.
Remember that the decision is yours alone.
2006-09-24 08:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by Laughing Libra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello this might be of help or may not but i was with a guy for 9 years and married to him for 3. and in that time he would always want to break up and then about a month later he wanted me back. and of course i did because i loved him.but each time i went back it was worse and worse. he finally admited he kept wanting me back because i was a comfort zone for him. he was used to me being there and when i wasnt he didnt know what to do. to me this sounds like your problem. though it may not i thought i would share it with you.
2006-09-24 08:03:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah that guy clearly has issues. why would you wanna go back with him if he beat you to a pulp?? if he did it once he can do it again. people that say they love you wouldn't do such things to you. i wouldnt go back out with him. especially if he was addicted to porn and alcohol. those would be the end of the relationship as soon as i saw them...dont be a stupid girl and go back. he could kill you this time.
2006-09-24 08:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by ally 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, he's got issues...no, you shouldn't go back to him...he's your EX for a reason...get out of that situation and move on...everything you mentioned is red flag that'll be exaggerated and get worse if you're a couple...why go into a situation like that? Don't be a masochist!
2006-09-24 07:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sucks if some says that it takes a lot more than a s sorry sounds like a real piece o sh** dont be abused / like a lost puppy that keeps comuin bak for more / think if the pups falut / it probly not your fault so put your foot down abuser abuse easy
2006-09-24 08:03:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a resistance to alcohol he probably has acoholism in his family, but otherwise.. I cant say for sure. Consult a professional.
2006-09-24 07:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋