I have been with him for 1/4 of my entire life but things have gone bad and i cant stay.I need some suggestions. How do i go from seeing this man every day for 7 years to never seeing him again?
Especially without going nuts?
2006-09-24 07:34:46 · 22 answers · asked by petmykitty22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, good for you for having the courage to take care of what you need. This relationship has been groundwork for your next relationship. Take time to think about what it was about him that attracted you. Figure out specifically why you are leaving. Use this information as reference when evaluating future relationships. Take some time to ask yourself what you didn't do that you wanted/needed to do for yourself while your attention was on him. Follow through on these things. Put yourself in a position where your self-confidence and interests will be a good source of conversation in a future relationship. Learn to make responsible decisions, rekindle a friendship. And always remember that the right guy is looking for you. Try to become the woman he can trust and respect. Eventually, when all the drama is over, he will seek you out.
2006-09-24 07:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right where I was at exactly the same age, with exactly the same amount of time invested. It is overwhelming for a while. I got good relief for the anxiety by joining a gym and going for a hard workout every day. Not only did it give somewhere for all the adrenaline to go to get used up, I looked better which helped my outlook.
Surround yourself with true and close friends who care about you in the deepest way. When you are really having a "pity party" allow yourself this indulgence, but have the discipline to concentrate on it. Turn the television and computer off, and set a timer for 15 minutes. Do NOTHING else but feel sorry for yourself for those fifteen minutes. By the time that buzzer goes, off you are ready for anything else.
And I took up sewing again, and sewed deep into the night when I could not sleep. So, get a creative hobby, and go full steam ahead into it.
Above all, do not rely on alcohol or other substances, that is a deep hole you don't need to crawl into. Do not seek another mate at this time. Go to your workplace every day, make sure you are on time and do your best work. It will be exhausting just trudging through every day at first, but in a few months, imperceptibly, you will notice that you are feeling better. Give your soul time to soar before entering into another relationship. You will have so much more to bring to it, if you will take this time for personal growth.
2006-09-24 07:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly as you said, you and your boyfriend were not ready to take care of and nurture a child together and you did what you felt was best, with advice from other family members, at that time. If you had had the baby then you would both need to have jobs to support, house and feed your baby, you might be living on a benefit and you may be living from paycheck to paycheck if you were lucky. Dont get too down on yourself about it as plenty of other women do the same thing. It is normal to feel insecure when you are in a house all alone. Everyone feels the same way - checking the doors twice, avoiding certain rooms, feeling afraid. But you are an adult now and you are being asked to talk care of yourself the best way that you can so I suggest that you conquer your fear and walk into those rooms, make sure that the house is clean and tidy and secure. Just do the best you can with what you have.
2016-03-27 07:23:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are leaving, then don't do what the lady above this one is doing --- spending all of her time pining away on a love that will never be again.
You are leaving because just about anything looks better than staying, right?
We are all preprogrammmed to be with a mate -- nature just made us that way. and the best way to get over an impossible situation is to start looking for a new guy. And here's how:
If you need to loose some weight, start today. Get your hair restyled, get a few nice outfits , and for sure, if you don't have a killer smile, see the best cosmetic dentist in your area. Have some great photos taken, and put up a profile on Yahoo Personals. Yup, invest some buckos on yourself.... There are lots of great guys out there, and of course a few loonies just like what you would find in church. If you don't have your head on straight, talk it out with some of your girlfriends, or spend a session or two with a therapist. Get an attitude adjustment if you need it.
2006-09-24 08:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to come to realization with the fact that you have moved on— that you cannot stay in a relationship that has become so horrible.
You need to remember that you'll be better off without him.
Rather then going nuts, think about yourself. Spend time pampering yourself and doing for you and only you.
Also, spend more time with friends. You need to get out more and enjoy life rather then sitting inside thinking about what went wrong and why things happened the way the did... because all things do happen for a reason.
2006-09-24 08:12:13 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if things are really that bad it shouldn't be a problem. You need to take some time now and work on yourself. Keep yourself busy, and when you start to think of him always remind yourself of all of the bad things he had done to you. You will not go insane. You will be fine. And someday when you have yourself put back together again you can find a man who will love you and take care of you and you will want to do the same for them. Love is not a miserable state of confusion and so many people seem to think that that is what it is all about. Love is about being honest, loyal, compassionate, respectful, communication, and treat each other as such.
Good luck and
God Bless
2006-09-24 07:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing that makes breakups so hard is fear of the uncertainty that the future brings, and instead people dwell on the past.
You need to remind yourself of all the reasons why the relationship failed rather than focusing on the good times. A good thing to do is spend time to yourself. Go out and have fun with friends and do things you couldn't do while in a relationship.
A lot of it is easier said than done, and it takes time to heal from a breakup, but trust me, I was in your situation once. I spent months feeling depressed and upset, but all I needed to do was have confidence in myself that something better was out there. I eventually spent more time with my close friends, made new friends, and met a lot of wonderful people.
Surround yourself with people who care about you and you'll see that it's very easy to move on.
2006-09-24 08:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by BrutesWhayne 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well evidently the relationship has gone south, and is hopeless. So I just must ask, as the data is sketchy, Why on earth do you think you would go insane leaving someone you decided you no longer care about?
2006-09-24 07:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by dread pirate lavenderbeard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your phone number. If he sprouts up his little head demanding attention, act like he's a Mormon trying to convert you....act it even if your hearts not in it.
Take up a hobby...like quilting, while you are watching good documentaries on TV. Go all girly and get your SELF done up. Go for an hour walk each day. When you get sick of being alone, that start dating again.
2006-09-24 07:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have lost all interest in this man, then I don't see why it will drive you insane if you leave him. I would think that it would most likely drive you insane even more if you were to stay with someone you did not care or want to be with.
2006-09-25 02:11:34 · answer #10 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋