For a couple years now, I've had a big crush on my best friend. We have so much in common, but many differences that help balance each other out. I told him awhile ago that I kind of liked him, and he told me he had thought about it, but that he thought we didn't have a relationship like that. Over the summer, he acted mean toward me for no reason. I later found out that he did it because he was trying to establish us, to other people, as just friends. Lately however, he's been acting very different: saying flirty things, touching in a flirty way, etc. He has never done things like that before, and his actions are confusing me. I don't want to bring it up again, because I'm afraid it will cause more problems. He's been running hot and cold lately as well, having deep conversations, and then barely talking to me at all. Everyone, including me, thinks we belong together, but I have no idea what's going on. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. I've reached my last straw.
2006-09-24 07:01:03 · 11 answers · asked by Melissa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Two of our friends who were dating recently broke up, but they're still best friends (and they still have sex). When I talk to him about this, he says our relationship is different than theirs because they have sex. I'm not sure if he means our relationship is different because he doesn't want to be a couple, or because we haven't gotten there yet. He's the most confusing person I've ever met, but I can't get him out of my head.
2006-09-24 08:06:10 · update #1
Tell him how you feel, and also mention that you're confused about the way he's been acting. Talking to him is the only way you'll find out what's been going on.
2006-09-24 07:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Antoinette 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Ok, you asked for advice so here is the best I can do. Basically, enough is enough. I think you all have exhausted you attempts to communicate through signals. It is time to talk. If you don't get this out in the open, things will just keep circling forever until one of you blows up. So you might as well take a deep breath and talk to him about it very directly. When you do remember these tips. Choose the time and place with care. It needs to be quiet so he can have privacy with you, but not intimidating. When you talk to him, keep it brief, keep it simple, keep it honest. Tell him and then be quiet. Give him a chance to process and then to respond. Don't be a chatty cathy. I would suggest you say something like "we have been so close for so long sometimes I can't tell if we are just old friends or a new romance trying to be born. All I know is I feel very close to you and I hope you will feel that way about me too." See what he says in reply. If he is really cold, you will know it and you can say thanks for the talk and get out of the moment. If he opens a door by saying he has felt this way too, then you can take it in a more personal direction.
2006-09-24 14:09:01 · answer #2 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with them. if you two just lay all your cards on the table then the air will be cleared and no more tension. you will know what to expect from each other and it should put you both at ease. but listen, if he doesn't go for the whole couple idea, keep him around as a friend, you can never have to many friends in this world. that is unless he treats you like poo after this convo.
2006-09-24 14:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by Debbie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny thing is i'm in love with my best friend called melissa , but then again i ain't sure if i'm in love or it's just one of those moments that seem like love but aren't .
well when u told him u liked him , he tought you LIKED him so he started to flirt with you , but the thing is he might suck at flirting or else what the hell was he supposed to do when u said u liked him , he got excited so he started flirting , he didn't knew you were sure about liking him or not and he never gave thought about it , but i think you should tell him what you meant ? and that if u still like him , just tell him that u want to take the relationship slowly and that he doesn't have to be so cocky to tell everyone u guys are together , so tell him privetly that u don't want to take the relationship fast , or if u don't like him just tell him that u like him because he understood you and listened and stuff , but when it comes to relationship he's going too fast and that you need time , but he went on too fast so that will do it for us but we can still be friends like we were noone gets hurt !!! finally good luck
2006-09-24 14:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by hellhammer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do one thing, when u are around with him, u behave normally, as if nothing is noticed by you,
as by what u say, he hasnt told u anythng even if he has feelings for you, so just keep it cool!
as if nothing is unusual, he will get frustrated when he wont get a response from you!
An dhe will confront, now if he does not that, that means something very weird is in his mind about all this.
2006-09-24 14:49:28 · answer #5 · answered by krishna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey there gal...dont b depressd k....jus talk over wit him....get to kno..if he is possesive bout u.for a while keep the luv asisde n act as best frend u can b..ask him questions realted to his dreamgal..like wht shud she be like wht type of gal he wants...dont be too much wit him..cuz if u giv him ur too much he mite think tht ur very behind him..just gv some space...as he will be ur best frend though...u love him.he isnt gonna go newhr..so just take it ccooll..ask him out...sum where fora coffeee,movies and help him out in every aspect of life...make him feel ur importance...kjust relax dont wrry gal...everythings goonna be fine..n see if he has a crush on sumone or u..dnt get despaired..take care..such type of matters are personal but sumthings cant be granted for own..well...take sip of life njoy it..n be DA BEST..chaoo..have a nice day..god bless ya gal..
2006-09-24 14:10:28 · answer #6 · answered by cute_boy_4_babes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u should have a heart-to-heart with him just to see where the 2 of u stand . . tell him that either decision would be ok with u, being a couple or just being friends, but u need to know exactly how he feels about it, so that u won't be getting your hopes up for nothing . ..
2006-09-24 14:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by ♥LoisLane♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants you to mention it again, I think he likes u, just doesnt want people to know, guys are weird, lol, so just mention it and maybe he will react differently this time
2006-09-24 14:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by Tbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey come on be brave,if u think he s the one for u go ahead and make a move and tell him wat u feel.even i had a crush on my best friend but never told her.now she s married to someone else.just talk to him about it or spend ur life regretting not doing it.good luck,hope u get him.
2006-09-24 14:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by sandesh.sm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to seduce him and see how it goeson from there..
2006-09-24 14:04:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋