First fight???he wont talk to me or aswer phone calls??

Question

Hi i am 18 years old my husband is 21 and we got married last month in Vegas a spur of the moment thing that orginally started as a joke.That same night we also managed to concieve a child i got an ultra sound and a pelvic to confirm after an EPT. We have only known each other 3 months really and last night we got into a fight at his dorm about the baby he informed me that he wanted to stay married and that we would be moving in with his parents as soon as possible!His very italian parents hate me!because i am not italian i have never done anything too them!I stormed out and walked for about an hour to get to a friends house crying. My friend steve is gay!so i saw no harm in sleeping over at his place in same bed its a one bedroom place the coach doubles as a bed. Two hours later at 1:00 a.m my husband was banging on the door my friend steve went to get the door and my husband saw me in the bed and hit him in the face broke his jaw!

I feel awful now my husband had to spend the night in jail and my friend got hurt. Yes my friend really is gay his partner is away in china right now. I feel like my husband does not trust me. How was i suppose to now my husband was calling everyone trying to look for me anyway!My friend rachel gave him the adress and neglected to mention he was gay and not a threat!!

My parents are spanish and very familty oriented people too and cant stand my hubby cecause he is not spanish!This is my freshmen year of college i feel he ruined my life!I love him but he driving me crazy! and he wont talk to me?

Answer 1

I broke a guys Jaw and had to pay his Medical Bills. A lesson learned...let the Law handle Disputes, but in your case, it sounds like a real big mess.

Answer 2

I think you need to take one issue at a time and get this figured out. First, both of you were immature for going to Las Vegas and getting married as a joke. It doesn't sound like either one of you can support yourselves nor do you know each other well enough for marriage. Neither one of you have taken marriage seriously, and should consider having the marriage annulled. You weren't responsible enough to use birth control, so now a baby is the result of this "joke." Even if the marriage is annulled, you both have a responsibility to the baby (since you're talking about the future, I'm assuming that terminating the pregnancy is out of the question). I think you should think realistically about what kind of future you'll have if you stay in this "marriage." Both of you need to mature because your current actions indicate that you're not ready for any real responsibilities. Contact an attorney about annulling the marriage and child support. If you insist on staying married, then go and get counseling ASAP. Honestly, I think you'd both be better off without the marriage until you have demonstated the ability to take care of yourselves and make responsible decisions. Sorry, but there's no way to sugarcoat it. A little forethought would have prevented the drama you find yourselves in now.

Answer 3

Sounds to me you both made a bad choice to get married and marriage isnt a joke so even if you married him spur of the moment you did not know him well enough to marry him after only three months,ok so now you are about to have a baby,his family doesnt like you and vice versa because of your ethnic backgrounds,and to add insult to injury your friend who for some unknown reason told your Husband where to find you and then got your real friends jaw broken and yet you feel badly that your Husband had to spend a night in jail,your Husband has shown that he can be violent and do you really think its such a good idea to live with his parents.You should go home to your own parents and decide what you need to do because now you have to think about your baby and for this man to tell you that the two of you will be moving in with his parents whom he knows dislikes you is just plain scary I mean why would he want you to be anywhere that will make you feel uncomfortable.also about him not wanting to talk to you,you are young and you dont know this but he feels that this is a form of control (the silent treatment) you will get over it and besides it sounds like hes the one who owes you an apology.

Answer 4

Whoa!You need to slow life down a little. Your husband is trying to do the right thing by staying by you but you need to get some support for yourself.Emotional support. You are carrying a baby and that is a big responsibility. This is serious.It sounds like you need to give your husband some space to figure out what he wants. You need to focus on your own well being and that of the unborn child.You have had way too dramatic couple of months.What do you want?You have your whole life ahead of you. Think about a bigger picture does this guy fit into it? You are now pregnant so you already have one other person to consider .
Do you have family who can help you out ?Find some resources for yourself so you have a back up plan in case things don't work out with this guy.

Answer 5

I normally don't tell people to divorce, but honey, you are both young and you really didn't even know each other that well before you jumped into marriage. Marriage is not a joke honey, and you openly admit that was the basis of getting married. It's a wonder your parent's are upset, as well as his...they deserve to be. You've both denied them of the ritual parents get to go through when things are done right. I'd suggest filing for divorce. Give this baby up for adoption and find a way to move on. This child did not ask for parents like this, and doesn't deserve the emotional roller coaster the two of you are going to put him/her through. You can't even make it past your first fight...what's going to happen when you need a babysitter?

Answer 6

No offense I would have jacked up your gay bud even I knew he was gay too.He didn't know where you were, hes itallian so a hothead, you just had a fight and he finds you in bed /w another guy. On a side note being gay is completely irrelevant to what actions you perform with another man, treat them as if they were straight. I have plenty of gay friends and go with them places often and ive seen more than my share of gay men drink themself straight and hit on chics. This isnt always the case but you get the point, dont do anything you wouldn't want him to do. What if you came home and he had a girl in the bed with him? Yeah.. thought so.

You both are so very young and barely know each other its going to be a long hard road to deal with having a baby. You can't stay at his parents forever and how are you going to get along with them for 9months pregnant and then after? You all probably need to sit down and figure out whats best and set some rules down if you are going to live with them. It is their house of course but if they want you there they will understand if you have simple requests for privacy or special needs.

Next you will have to do the same thing with your parents that you did with his. Sit down with them, talk things over and let them know this guys is here to stay and is for real.

After the baby is born there will be months of severe lack of sleep, little time for yourself and will put a strain on any personal relationships you have. This being the case you will want to sort things out now so when the baby is here everyone can pitch in and understand each other to lighten the load for everyone. It isn't as quick of a fix as getting a 15min wedding in vegas but if you want to stay together it will have to be done.

Once you get through all that it should be much easier sailing and things may get rough at times so you will need to be able to count on each other.

Answer 7

You are 1/2 responsible for creating this mess. It was wrong and disrespectful for you to stay in another mans house even if he is gay. You owe both men an apology. As for the marriage,
get it annuled. Quick. Then, set up a parenting plan that spells out what each is going to do for the child as far as providing for the child. This plan should also include visitation guidelines.

Answer 8

shame on yor friend. tell your husband believe noting he hears and only half of what her sees. Starting a family is a hard thing to do i married at 18 also and had to live with my parents till we could get on our feet, its hard but it can work. jealousy is a wated emotion I know I speak from experiance, just try to sit down and have a heart to heart with him hopefullf it work out. Ive been married for 8yrs now and believe me its no walk in the park, but worth all the effort.

Answer 9

Leave him a message on his cell, or something, explaining that yourr friend is gay. And that he doesn't need to worry about anything. If he still doesn't talk to you maybe have a friend tell him that.

Answer 10

I am glad you emphasized that you were freshman in college, cuz it sounds like freshman in grade school