How many of you have told your family about your choice?

Question

Have any of you been abandoned by your family or made to feel like an outcast? Or do your families support you in your every endeavor and treat you and your significant other with respect?

Let me state for the record, I am heterosexual. But I am very curious as to how you and your families deal with the lifestyle you have chosen.

Answer 1

you will always feel like an outcast on some level. being gay is a hard life. you will not always be accepted.but thats ok. some of my family accepts it and some "tolerate" it. in the end the only one opinion that matters is my own.
I knew since i was young I was gay. I played church and teacher with girls and doctor and house with boys so i always knew I was Diffrent. I always told myself that if she didnt find out when I turn 18 i would tell my mother I was gay at 18 and thats what I did on new years and she said she always had an idea but waited to hear me say it and said she got to live her life and whatever makes me happy makes her happy. my father is a pentecostal God fearing man. He gave me the whole Church "I dont want you to burn" thing and I told him that if I wanted a pastor I would go to church what I wanted was a father and we didnt speak for 6 months and he wrote me a letter. It was asking me for forgivness. he said that he didnt know what to think only what he was taught but would like to continue a father and son relationship and has met my lover. That was about 13 years ago. I am very happy with my choice to come out. it hasnt always been easy but HONEY, IT IS ONE HELL OF A RIDE!!!!!! Youre parents (if accepting) will treat your partner with the same disrespect if they were the opposite sex. Remember, gay or straight if you dont like someone that is your perrogative as long as its not JUST because you or your partner are gay. that is ignorant. I say throw it in the air and know everything is for a reason. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Be happy. Live, Learn, enjoy and forget about the rest.

Answer 2

To echo a few others on here:

I made the choice to live my truth, rather than to continue living the lie that some people are more comfortable seeing me in. Being queer is part of who I am. Just like my skin color, my ethnicity, and my level of intelligence are part of who I am, so is my sexuality. The quality that encompasses all others, for me, is my spirituality. It guides everything I do and say; it governs the way I navigate the world.

As for my family, some are fine and some aren't. But then, everyone has a bit of a queer quirk about themselves, regardless of whether it has to do with their sexuality or the gender of their spouses. Some embrace my spouse; others don't. Whatev. I have a life to live, so I embrace what embraces me, love from a distance what can't love me up close, and pray for the wisdom to know the difference.

Answer 3

I am very blessed to have grown up in a home where we had family members who were gay, and many friends of many persuasions. My folks taught me a person is a person, and when I realized at the age of 35 that I was truly Bi, it no longer shocked or frightened me thanks to their common sense.

It's sad that anyone would have to suffer abandonment because of who and how you love. Sadly what's happening to the BLT community is very similar to the persecution toward slaves until humankind grew up and realized that such behavior was wrong (and sadly some still have those lingering negative attitudes).

The best thing to do is be patient. If you have a loving family, there may be a period of healing involved, or some adjustments to make, but usually and trustfully love wins out.

Answer 4

Hey...

I recently discoverd that i am bi sexual, and im not ashamed of it, even though i only care very deeply for one girl, we kissed and we slept together( i ddidnt do that whole licking and touching stuf that still kinda freaks me out), her girlfriend even joined, it was her idea anyway.

I told my mom about it, and she was not even surprised she said to me that she finds it strange that i have not turned into a lesbian with my bad experiences with men, i had to VERY close encouters concerning rape, and both times was with two of my very close guy friends. Lately very bad relationships, some guys never learn to be faithfull.

I completely wondered off from the question, sorry.

I am straight and bi at the same time, and angelina jolie is hot,and channing tatum in she's the man is a total hunk!!!

me*

Answer 5

i'm not that way but i think i can help you. i believe that you gotta do what makes you you during your life. whether it be that your gay, straight, bi, transgendered. whatever makes you happy shouldn't be determined by the thoughts of what others would think. it only matters what makes you happy. if you are gay or bi. that's fine. there's nothing wrong with that. never forget, there's is no reason to be afraid of who you are. if you aren't sure if you are, then sit down and think. does the same/both sex seem hot to you. if yes then you are either bi or gay. if you are worried what God would say. God is a loving God. being gay is not an unforgivable sin. many say it is, but its not. it doesn't say anywhere in the bible that 'if you are gay you are an abomination'. the only abomination is the sin against the holy spirit. don't be depresed. in this life you gotta do what makes you you in this life. look at it this way. when you are walking down the road of life, you come to a fork in the road. you gotta choose which path to take. only you can make that decision. do what makes you happy and full speed ahead. if anyone dares to stand in your way. push 'em aside.

Answer 6

Honestly, I haven't yet, but that's only because I came out @ college, which is 5 hours away from home. I felt it was necessary to have some people here to fall back on should they react the way I hope they won't. However, I'm planning on outing myself to them over the fall break when I see them next.

FYI, I didn't CHOOSE to be gay. I am, however, CHOOSING to tell my family and hopefully have their support. Just please remember that sexuality isn't a choice anymore than race, gender, eye color, or hair color.

Answer 7

I CHOOSE to have cheese sandwiches for lunch. I CHOOSE to get out of bed in the morning. I CHOOSE to play fetch with my dog. I have never CHOSEN to love women. Do I tell my family about the CHOICES I have made? Certainly not. Do they know I love women? Yes. There is a world of difference between a CHOICE and something that you cannot change.

Answer 8

We DO NOT 'choose' a 'lifestyle'. We are gay/lesbian. That's as natural as you being a heterosexual.

Coming out to your parents depends on your age, your circumstances, and the reaction you think you will get. It's dangerous for a young man in his teens to reveal his sexual orientation to parents that are religious, because they may well throw him out on the street (showing Christian charity).

I recommend that teens keep quiet if at all possible until they are in a position to get a job or move to a relative who is supportive, because there is nothing worse than being out to a household full of bigots.

Answer 9

My father was cool with it, but he turned out to be gay anyway, god bless him(he's passed). My mother treats me as an outcast, and my 3 brothers have nothing to do with me at all.But here is the kicker, I am doing better than all of them, my mom filed for bankruptcy, which I paid for, my oldest brother is on his 4th marriage, my other brother was on drugs and now is on his 3rd marriage and my youngest brother has joined a cult somewhere, hmmmmmm the black sheep is happier and doing better than them all, God will forgive them. I wish I was close to them, but after 20 years I don't see it happening

Answer 10

I have told my family, and they are very accepting, as are my friends and co-workers. Not a one of them have turned their back on my because I'm a lesbian, which, by the way, is not a "choice" ...it's simply the person I was born to be. Most of us take offense when people suggest the we "choose" to be gay/lesbian. Did you "choose" to be straight? No one can choose their sexual orientation any more than they can choose their skin/eye color, whether they are tall or short, etc. It's genetic.