child's father in prison?

Question

My child's father petitioned the judge to make me bring my daughter in for a paternity test. The petition I was served says that if I don't comply within 30 days the judge will side with him by default. What reason could I give for not wanting to bring her in for a test...She is 17 months old...and in perfect health. Shes well cared for, happy, and perfect. I have never asked this man for a penny, considering he is not on the birth certificate, and most men would be glad to go away. I want to keep him away from my daughter, not because he is a jailbird but because he is mentally ill. He has serious anger issues and says she is the reason he did what he did...I don't want her to think that its her fault that he is in jail....what do I do, what do I say? If you are going to do the name calling and such, please go elsewhere, this is my child that is at stake, not me....serious answers only.

If I were to leave the state after being served these papers, what would they do? Would they put a bench warrant on me, or just have to reserve me in my new state of residence?

I would love if I knew the pat test would say she isnt his...but. Don't think thats possible unless it was immaculate conception ;-/

he doesnt get out of prison until 2013. and its not just him that is mentally unstable...his entire family is too.

Answer 1

I think what you're trying to say is that you don't want a paternity test because you don't want him to get any visitation rights, etc. Unfortunately, if the court ordered it, you have to do it. Otherwise you're in contempt, and will be arrested, fined and maybe jailed. Skipping the state is the worst thing you can do, and they will issue a warrant for your arrest and make you come back. Either way, they'll either force you to get the test done or give him default judgment, so you'll lose out no matter what. You're best bet is to get a lawyer, comply with the order, then come up with all the dirt in the world on him to try to wrestle legal custody and strip him of his rights as the father. In Missouri, if the kid is his, he has to pay for the test, and if the test shows he isn't, you have to pay for it, but I'm sure that varies by state. The reason the court even cares at all is because if it's his, they may decide to exercise their right pursue him for child support even if you don't, esp. if the kid ever receives any sort of government aide. That's why they're going to harrass you until they know.

Remember, if you want any chance of sole custody with no visitation rights for the father, you've got to make yourself look like a saint and let him fall on his own sword. If you look like you're just being spiteful, you might wind up losing more of your rights than you otherwise would.

Answer 2

I think you answered your own question you have 30 days and you have a right to answer the petition, you can't just make it go away.

Do you have proof of his mental instability, this alone is not enough to keep him from knowing his daughter don't you realize that he has just as much right to his child as you do? Was he ordered by the court to attend anger management or is that your idea for example what did he do to make you think he has anger management problems. Mental illness is just that an illness if he had a cardiac problem would you feel as if he didn't have a right to be a parent. Sounds like you are prejudiced and you don't state how you got pregnant, did he rape you?

By all means attend the court hearing, get a lawyer if you really think he is totally incapable of parenting or can't be treated for his illness but denying your child her father is not a good thing and when she is old enough and she will find out she may turn on you blame all of her problems on you and so forth.

If anyone does namecalling on this site report them by using the flag.

Answer 3

Honestly, I don't think there is anything you can do except comply. If he is the father and wants to see the child, you may have to let that happen. Since he is in prison and, from the way you are talking, a felon and mentally ill, I'm sure he would have to be supervised by the courts. Seriously hon, ask a lawyer, because everything is speculation until you talk to one who knows the rules in your state.

By the way, your child is 17 months old. Right now, she may not know what's going on. If she asked, just tell her her father had to go away because he did something he wasn't suppose to do. If that isn't what you are looking for, go talk to a child counselor. They can give you ideas on what to say to your child.

Sorry I couldn't help more...

Answer 4

Let me see , he has a seroius anger problem and you had a child with him ??? Things we should think about before sleeping with people.

You take the child in for the test, there is no way out of it. If he is the father he has legal rights, and not listing him on the birth certificate has no bearing in this,

You just have to hire a good attorney to be sure he does not get visitation or only supervised visitation.

Answer 5

the paternity test is just to determine who the father is ... if he petitioned the court for custody then you could bring up his mental illness etc ... there is no excuse you can come up with that the judge will take, if you don't go then you can be held in contempt then imagine what that could do to your daughter and since she is only 17months old she isn't old enough to understand him being in jail or whether or not it's her fault. it's the information you as her mother give her that will determine her outlook on her father.

Answer 6

Just go for the test they can't force his family on you. If you run you will also be charged with kidnapping and it will be worse for your child if she ends up in foster care or then in that case HIS family may be able to step up and claim her and YOU will look mentally unstable. When you go for the test and it's his. He will owe you child support when he gets out. If he and his family prove to be unstable you can put a restraining order on them. Trust in God do what is right and things will work out in the end.

Answer 7

That's terrible. Can't you tell the court that he is mentally unstable and has anger issues. they wouldnt give him the baby if he just got out of jail. but if he just wants visiting rights then tell the court that he should have a test or something to see if he truly is mentally unstable.

Answer 8

Are you telling us everything? Or are you having doubts that the paternity test will reveal that the child is not his?

If he has commited a heinous crime, you can petition the court to not allow him access to the child because you fear for her safety or well-being. Judges grant this sort of order daily.

Answer 9

I don't think this is something you can run away from. If I were you I would comply, as ordered.

I understand your position and I feel for you. Trying to avoid the inevitable, will only cause you more stress and grief.

Answer 10

Why did you have sex with him in the first place to make the baby when you know that he is mentally ill, or did you just realize it now that the baby is born, and he wants to make sure if actually that his blood. I think you are lying.