why fall in love with someone who doesn't feel the same?

Question

this puzzles me big time

how can you feel such a genuine emotion for someone who doesn't feel the same about you; it's almost humiliating if you think about it

can someone explain this but very thoroughly

thanks

Answer 1

Love is tricky that way. I prefer to refer to it as "different" kinds of love. The unconditional love children have for their parents even if the parents mistreat them. The love and affection we have for friends. The way we love our hobbies, jobs, recreation. We humans form strong emotions to things that give us pleasure. It can sometimes be misdirected. This does not make it bad. It just hurts when it's not returned in kind. Love for one person is very different for another. I hate peas and no way can you ever make me love them. This is what makes us individuals.

Answer 2

In the book “A Course in Miracles” a big chunk of the book is dedicated to our romantic delusions. The ego mind believes that our salvation does not lie in loving everybody, but rather we start to believe that there is this perfect person which causes us to leave out the rest of mankind and to that extent you will be in hell no matter what they do if you wait long enough. You really think you love this person, but what is really going psychologically is that you feel inadequate. This is very unconscious and you think it is love at first site when in fact it is neurosis real high. So the ego is sending you to that person and you have this idea being with this person will bring you heaven forever. On top of this, you have all this cultural stimulus that says “yes” romance is your salvation. When you come from a place that you are not needy because of your oneness with God then your real love life is your relationship with the world.

Answer 3

I guarantee you there is no one in the WORLD that hasn't had a "crush" or some other feelings toward another person and didn't have it reciprocated. There is no diary in the world that doesn't contain some mentions of loving another person in secret and then, as that person grows up, s/he fails to even get a date with the other one. You haven't gone through the "human experience" if you aren't like this.

People, as a race, generally fear being alone and search out for "The One". Kids will play house, choosing from their friends their "favorite" playmate, and pairing up with him/her. If you ask them, "Do you love [person]?" chances are they will say, "Yes, of course!" without a moment's hesitation.
This doesn't mean the other person (or even the child itself) feels the same way, but because everyone grown up seems to have someone else; they feel they should too.

Then school comes with its dances and its hormones and girls start looking for someone--anyone--who will ask them out and make them feel more "adult". Frequently they cluster in tight groups and point and giggle at the person they "love", before sending over the Unattractive Friend (tm) over to ask if [Person 1] likes [Girl B].

If the answer is no, girl B falls through a mirror of various emotions before coming out on top with a "Well, I never really liked [person] anyway! [Person 1] is just a stupid jerk. [Person 2] on the other hand..."
If the answer is yes, she goes through elation and they begin dating. Is it love? Chances are, no. Chances are, even, that both sides don't even truly feel genuinely for the other person, but their desire to have someone else by their side is strong enough that they agree to be together for a week before getting sick of each other and leaving.

I have no idea why you would present this question in particular to the LGBT section. EVERYONE goes through heartbreak, EVERYONE falls for someone that doesn't feel the same, and EVERYONE gets humiliated.
But, also, everyone can find happiness in another person, can have a long, enjoyable time with someone else, and do go through the exact same pains and joys that the average human being experiences--no matter what their sexuality is.

Answer 4

Well i think it has alot to do with your emotions at the time-maybe your going through a very difficult period in your life and someone is caring about your problems and really trying to be your friend and you confuse the friendliness for something that isn't there. But you can't help who you fall in love with- it just happens,and it can hurt you in the long run!

Answer 5

Part of the problem, is that love can't be explained. It's a feeling people get. They may not be expecting it or want it to happen, but you will have the feeling regardless. It's plain human nature

Answer 6

because we cant help it. its kind of like dogs. dogs love thier owners even if they have been misstreated by them. thats y i prefer cats. their loyalties are not so blind.

anyways there is a millon reasons we fall in love with someone and wheather they recipricate is irrelivant to our hearts because they are still the same wonderfull person. its the same as y do parents love their children even though they mave have done horrible things to them. love doesnt consider that unfortionately. if we all only loved the ppl that love us we would b v happy or maby very misserale cuz thouse ppl could be totally wrong for us... think about it

Answer 7

We can't help who we fall in love with. Sometimes we just get attached to people who we feel are beautiful on the inside, and if that person doesn't love us back, we feel devastated. It's just one of the mysteries of life.

Answer 8

I don't think that anyone actually does. I believe they fall "in love" with the ideas and ideal situations that they create mentally, not the reality of the situation.

Answer 9

Why? Because sometimes you can't help it. You can't just block your admiration for someone. It's like trying to hate your pet/family/best friend.

On the other hand they may not realise they love you

Answer 10

sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. they have something that attracts you and not even know it