How can I make sex more appealing to my husband. He loves making love when we actually do it, just I can't modivate him to WANT to do it. It's very depressing. He's always playing video games or hanging with the guys. How can I make sex fun for him and so that he WANTS to? Please help and serious answers. If you want your 2 points then don't say anything just put a letter lol. I don't want your oppinion if it's not serious. Thanks
2006-09-24 05:49:48 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As a married guy, I can kind of relate to your question. I appreciate when my wife gives me space to pursue my interests. If she's constantly nagging me to be near her, I feel resentful. Sex is more fun when I've been thinking about it...so make him think about it. When you guys are alone in the house, wear something you'd NEVER wear out anywhere (tight shorts, shirts you've pulled down to show cleavage). This will get him thinking about you way before bedtime.
You might also try doing stuff in bed that he likes more often. I hope this helps....I really feel bad for you...your profile reminds me of my wife.
2006-09-24 06:50:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know some of us are just more into sex than others. Talk to him about how you are feeling. Sometimes I have similar sorts of issues with my wife. Sometimes I think she's like a camel and sex one time is stored in some hump and she can use it for months on end, and meanwhile I've got needs. But, we talked about it and came to an agreement (not all that romantic, I know, but sometimes you just gotta talk things out). Also, obviously, I don't know you from adam, but have you tried wearing some sexy outfits, flirting, working out if you're a bit outta shape (Sorry, I'm not trying to be insulting if you're hot as all get out). I guess there is always that possibility he doesn't feel attracted as much because of that whole argument about eating the same cereal for breakfast every morning thing where you just get tired of it after a while, or any chance he's having an affair? Obviously that would decrease home sex drive (again, please don't take offense, just raising questions). But I think the bottom line is you need to talk. Good luck.
PS-Just thought of something else, maybe he needs to get in better shape, part of the issue with my wife is that over the last year, I started working out about 2 hours a day, and my sex drive and performance has gone thru the roof.
2006-09-24 05:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Poppies_rule 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easiest question ever I must say =)
Most guys are willing to throw down just about anytime but if we don't think we will be able to get in your pants we may refrain from trying. Simple solution.. ..
When he is out with the guys let him chill for a bit and spend some time and then call him up and don't say anything close to "Hi". When he answers talk in a low voice so no one else hears and tell him what your wearing (or NOT wearing) and that you are "Oh so alone" throw in you just got a shower or something like that. Chances are you will still be talking as he comes in the door.. ..
When hes playing games I will give you one ancient secret that I have never even heard of failing. Let him play for a few and when hes good and into put something sexy on and saunter into the room. Don't say anything and if he sits in a chair just plop down in fromt of him and start to work on getting his pants undone. Tell him to just keep playing and do your thing once the pants have been defeated.. ..With you giving him some tender loving care down there he may continue to play for a few min but it won't last very long. Soon the controller will hit the floor as will you two.. ..
2006-09-24 06:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by se7en 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's a bunch of things to try.
1) Lingerie: Start wearing skimpy nighties to bed every night. A nice chemise, some thigh highs. Be sure to put some perfume on as well. The effort should help.
2) Clothing: Wear feminine clothing. A nice dress or skirt that is feminine should help.
3) Cooking: Prepare some nice dinners from scratch. A way to a man's heart is his stomach. Make presentation of the meal a key.
4) Aprons: A nice hostess apron over the clothing when you cook. Again very feminine and again will show the effort. These things indirectly play in a guys mind and help make lovemaking more enjoyable.
5) Lovemaking: This one is a tough one because every one is different in this category. I'd encourage you to experiment and think out of the box.
I think these things will all play into "making love". I wish you good luck!
2006-09-24 06:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by L.A. Scene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course after a while, initiating sex needs more than a hand on the thigh or a sexy whisper like in teenage years. Have you tried this? You could have romantic scenarios set up and have FUN! Catering to the other person makes sex the most fun, like asking what his fantasy is...or having sex in other places like the living room couch. The sponatnaety of a changing environment could be good. Also, don't ask or beg for it, as obviously that could be a huge turn off...or he would feel obligated. Anyway, something that would be fun is a human smorg es bord...fruit, whip cream bikini, chocolate sauce...hahaha. Anyway, it's not that he doesn't desire you that's obvious, but guys are prone to thinking about one thing at a time...meaning video games=video gameing....so just help him think of something else.....Best of LUCK, I hope that helps! Just don't let it prey on your self esteem...it's totally normal!
2006-09-24 05:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by Future Mrs. Beasley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband was and sometimes is the same way. It's a TOTAL myth that men always want sex. Every man is different but what works best with My husband is to play hard to get, or cut him off for a bit completely. Trust me, if he is used to you making the sexual advances he will wonder what is going on. It is stupid that a person has to play mind games, but believe me I've tried everything and that works best for me. Another thing that works well is to arouse his jealousy, act mysterious, maybe spray a little cologne on you. Whatever (DON'T go too far though, it could backfire) If all goes well, he'll remember what a sexy vixen you are.
2006-09-24 06:04:10 · answer #6 · answered by jenlovely01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before thinking of motivating him for sex, you must figure out first how to make him spend more time with you. If he's out with his gang, figure out why? If this is an often occurrence, there must something he dislikes around the house that's why he wants to stay out of it most of the time. Are there other people around the house other than you (and your kids, if you have any)? Maybe he refuses to interact with these "other" people, and that makes him cocoon himself at videogames when at home.
If it is just the two of you, then maybe he thinks you don't share his interests and that makes him less inclined to be romantic with you.
Try to look at things from his point of view, show him that you, too, can appreciate what he likes and dislikes and I'd bet, mutual passion could be sooner or later be ignited and sustained with all the necessary spicings instinctively added in.
2006-09-24 06:44:13 · answer #7 · answered by Bummerang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he prefer hanging with the boys or playing vidoe games to having sex with you before you got married? If he did, do not expect change until and if he is ready. If it was not like that and only got that way after you got married ask yourself what is different other than you two are together more. Next time he is in front of the computer without saying a word, just drop down in front of him and.......................If he keeps playing or says stop he really has a problem.
2006-09-24 06:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by d b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone has said....this is strange. Most of the ideas I thought of have been said already. You could try leaving notes around the house telling him what you are going to do to him. Walk in when he is playing a video game....shut the game off and say " I want you now". Na skip that he would probably get mad. I don't know girl you may have to just sit down with him and ask him....whats up...or not up with our sex life. Tell him how important it is to you that you have that closeness.
I REALLY wish you luck on this one!
2006-09-24 06:19:35 · answer #9 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband doesn't want to have sex with you, then.. uh.. I have no idea. Is it possible that he's not interested in you anymore? Does he know how you feel about it? If he knows you want to have sex more, he may be more than willing to comply. Maybe he thinks you don't want to? Otherwise I'd say buy something sexy, maybe get a sex game, or try something different like going somewhere where there is a possibility of being caught. The only time I didn't want to have sex with someone I was with, was when I was tired of being with her. :-\
2006-09-24 05:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Gray 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋