really mad at husband...good reason or just hormones making me crazy???

Question

i haven't talked to husband in 2 days and want opinions on what to do. he went to the bar with his cousin on friday, night which we have terms for our alone nights out...such as no dancing with or going outside with opposite sex and be home by 2:30 am cause our bar closes at 3:00...plus he knew before he left that i was having lots of contractions and nausea (36 weeks preg.)anyways he didnt show up until 5:30 and all he said was that he passed out in cousins car and didnt get up until almost 5...i dont think that he was cheating, BUT i do believe that he's lying i think that he was out partying and dont want to admit it and i've noticed that his story keeps changing a little every time he tries to tell me not to be mad at him...do you think that i have a right to be really mad or do you think that my prego hormaones might be part of it? i just hate to be lied to cause it makes me wonder what else he lies about ya know

just wanted to add that he's not nervous about becoming a dad cause we already have two boys that are 9 and 3 who were home with me while he was out which might be another reason that i'm so mad cause if i would have went into labor i would have to take them with me to the hospital and it would have been twice as bad cause i have to have a c-sec (due to past c-sec and surgery) PLUS i've been on bedrest for 5 weks.

Answer 1

you have every right to be mad... honesty is key to any marrige.. and if he wasn't cheating.. then why not just tell the truth since he was out soo late. Hold your ground.. make him know that you are not to be lied to EVER!!
Thats just the lying part.. top that with being preg, well thats just .. well not right!!!

Answer 2

You have every right to be upset. This is a trying time for both of you, especially if it is your first, but his place is with you and if you were have contractions, he should have stayed at home. If this is his first child, he may be really scared and used the going out as an outlet. I'm not taking up for him, but I remember how my husband was when my daughter was born, lol. And he may not want to tell you why he got so smashed because he is afraid you'll see him in a bad light if it is because of his fears. He could be afraid that when the baby comes, you won't be the same sexy woman he married, that you'll go into "mommy" mode and forget about him. Sit down with him and have a good heart to heart talk, remind him of your value of honesty and how much you love him. Be honest about what the BOTH of you will go through when the baby is born and that you are going to need him more than before. Be patient with him, he is only a man after all, lol.

Blessings to you and your new family!

Answer 3

My husband goes out to the bar with his friends every once in a while, I'm almost 39 weeks pregnant. I get a little mad about it too. But I've came to rellize that he should enjoy it while he can, cuz after the baby is born his a** is staying at home. Don't stress yourself out, it's not good for the baby... and if you don't trust him then you have no use for him. So you feeling upset is prolly hormones, I get them all the time. Just go and have some make up sex..it does wonders ;)

Answer 4

I've been a wife for 16 yrs now, and I have to say - you have some good points, I would be angry & hurt - & honestly a little jealous about being left out and chosen over barfriends! I agree that he's telling you little white lies (been there, seen it, done it!) but from my pregnancy experiences, my hubby's white lies were to save/protect my already hurting and EXPRESSIVE feelings - so he shortened the details he usually shared with me, changed a few names or left them out (regarding bar friends I know try to get him into trouble when he's w/them) so my blood pressure didn't hit the stroke level, mine doesn't cheat either - not his style, I don't care how fat I feel. He probably was passed out, but partied later than he admitted to - personally, I'd split the difference between the two. Being pregnant, no matter how beautiful he told me I was, I was still insecure about my figure etc and he did his best to be supportive, but eventually he needed to go out and blow off steam from all the misc I loaded him with - we appreciated ea other and how we chose to spend our time together after the mini-vacation to the bar. Lastly, I firmly believe you should recite the common (what I like to call "Golden") rules of the relationship until they are burned into his brain - their is NO excuse leaving you nautious w/contractions (you could have needed medical attention at it's worst, and at it's best - he helped you make the little bundle, just because he can't carry the little one for you doesn't mean you don't need to be carried or helped once in awhile also. I doubt that you would have insisted on constant, all-night attention - His responsibilities are to the baby first, you second, and his friends and alcohol intake 3rd. A gentleman knows his priorities and Chivalry isn't dead or outdated! Good luck and bless you and yours.

Answer 5

If you loved and trusted each other enough to have set up a "alone nights out" then you need leave it alone and stop guilt tripping him. Do not build a wall of doubt this late in the game. After al,l you are both going to need each others time and attention once your child is born. It will be just as hard on him emotionally, mentally and physically once the baby arrives.

Without trust you are heading to a split.

Answer 6

you have every right to be very upset. when i was 38 weeks pregnent some of my husband's friends came in to town and they did the same thing, staying out all night. i know and trust him 100% that he was not cheating, but i was extremely upset that he left me alone all night when i could have gone into labor. his story didn't change and i can't even remember if/when he's been out all night before, but i was furious and disappointed at how irresponsible he could be. i was crushed, and concerned about our future if this was how he was going to act once the baby got here. lucky for me he realized how much it hurt me and that maybe it wasn't the best thing to do. he apologized profusely and has said and shown me that he understands that he has responsibilities now. he still likes to go out with friends from time to time, but it was a big eye opener to him that life changes with a baby. good luck, and for the sake of you and your child, don't back down on this one.

Answer 7

Horomones are definately part of it. However, Ithink you have a legit reason to be upset. He was out way too late with a wife at home, worrying about him, 36 weeks pregnant. What if something had happened (water broke etc.)? Now would be a good time talk, though. Don't argue. Explain why you're upset. Good Luck

Answer 8

I think it's probably a little bit of both. You have a right to be angry, but I don't think not talking to your hubby for 2 days is healthy - for either or you or for your children to see. Everyone makes mistakes, this is probably just one of his mistakes. But don't take it to hard on him, maybe he just wanted to have a little more fun before the next baby comes, can you blame him for that? Maybe you should have a girl's night out or a girl's night in at your place. But most of all, talk to your hubby!!!! Good luck to both of you and your new baby!

Answer 9

I think you have all the right in the world to be mad!!!!!!!!
You are in your last trimester and , I do understand alone /free time, everyone needs that, but who the hell stays out that late? I'd demand a clear answer.
And if you cant get one, refuse to talk to him!
You seem like a level headed ladie, you deserve respect.

Answer 10

hormones are a cause for a lot of emotions but this one is all on him He's about to become a father & needs to grow up. PS if he does this again after the baby is born make him take care of the baby hung over that should cure him of his running around plus you will get some much needed rest