My Husband is in Iraq right now and just about every time we talk we start fighting... today was about him saying it wasn't his job to help take care of our 7 month old daughter and the time before that was because i wanted to wait to buy a lawn mower... Please somebody tell me will this get any better when he gets home or is he just being a jerk?
2006-09-24 04:13:13 · 15 answers · asked by jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do suport him. and i do hold my tonge most of the time but i really don't think i should be the one he lets all his anger out on. i'm the one holding it in. i'm going to be the one who snaps!
2006-09-24 05:22:23 · update #1
You need to remember where your husband is....he's lost control of his life and is being told how to live it as he fights for some one Else's rights. we are thankful for all he does, and we are sorry for you and your family to have to be with out him!!He can listen to you but he can't be here with you or really help you. I am sure he feels out of control and confused.I think he misses you and the baby but no it's not his job right now to take care of her, try to see how he feels being so far away...you both are hurting I understand that. Please hang in there it should get better with time and effort when he gets home. You may need to go to family counseling to work through some issues but if he loved you when he left he will love you when he comes home. I believe he just is outta sorts because he misses his family.
~Love and light to you all~
2006-09-26 14:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your husband so I can't tell you if he is a jerk or not. Being in Iraq has to be very stressful and stressful situations make us act differently than we normally would. I am grateful for your husband's service but I also think that the wives of the soldiers in Iraq are the real unsung heroes. I wish I had a magic phrase or word that I could say to you and you would instantly feel better but I don't. All I can do is say just keep up the good fight, and I tend to believe that after he does come home, if you had a happy marriage before that you most likely will again.
2006-09-24 04:23:05 · answer #2 · answered by Ethan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being a Jerk!!!!!
It is his job for the rest of his life to take care of the baby. He is needs a reality check. Being apart is hard but with understanding and compassion for the other it will get better. Don't answer the phone when he calls a couple of times and see how that makes him feel. Maybe if he had to think about life without the 2 of you it would shock him back. If he wants to know where you were then tell him you were out with freinds. Give him alittle of what he is giving you..
2006-09-24 04:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guy is there too. They are under alot of stress and so are you. They think you don't understand what they are going through and vice versa.
To be supportive of someone in a war zone, is just to listen and not b itch about anything...we at home have alot more on our shoulders handling all the everyday things while they are handling working and trying not to get killed.
It's a time when we try and bite our tongues about the things at home and just support as best as we can. Even if we don't like it.
I'd rather know we hung up on good terms if something were to happen and not bad ones.
2006-09-24 04:29:04 · answer #4 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, he's under a tremendous amount of strain right now. I'm not saying you're not, I know how hard it is being a military wife... and brat! And remember that it takes two to argue. If he's in Iraq, it's a little hard for him to take care of your daughter and he probably feels like sh** that he's missing out on her growing up. Babies change so much in their first few years. Lighten up on him. Remember too that when he gets home, it's going to take some time for him to adjust. Life goes on for us back in the States but for them, it's relatively "routine".
If you're not already involved in one of the wives clubs/support groups (check with your base, they can get you in touch with other wives from his battalion), I recommend that you do get involved. Some of the ladies with more "experience" in the military lifestyle are a wealth of information and the support you get from these women is something you're definitely going to need for the rest of your husband's military career.
2006-09-24 05:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's in Iraq and the two of you should be counting down the days to when he is home safe with you and your daughter. Sounds like your relationship is going to get worse and will eventually be over.
2006-09-24 04:30:56 · answer #6 · answered by applecheeks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With what I've read I would ask him what the problem is and that if he can't talk to me with out starting an argument then maybe he doesn't need to call for a while. Let him know now (before he comes home) that his attitude is unacceptable.
2006-09-24 04:18:50 · answer #7 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's soldier right now...His job right now is defending our country! When he gets home then he can be the husband and Dad...Let the man do his job without all the distractions of home..Be Supportive...
2006-09-24 04:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is in a war zone under a lot of stress...........you are under a lot of stress trying to take care of your baby all by yourself............you guys still love each other right? just take it one day at a time this no time to think about who is being a jerk when in reality he may not come home alive.............so try to understand that he is seeing things that no one should ever see..........and i also understand that these are hard times for you too............but at least you get to see your baby everyday and you are home........you are both under alot of stress of cause it will get better
2006-09-24 05:23:22 · answer #9 · answered by angie m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully it will get better when he gets home. He is under a lot of stress just like you are. Take a deep breath and relax.
2006-09-24 05:11:19 · answer #10 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋