My mother takes me to a spiritual leader, after mistreating me as a child. Does she want to still control me?

Question

All my childhood was passed with her beatings and abuses.
I find it difficult to talk to others. I am a very shy person. With no friends at school and college. I even skipped 5 jobs in the last 3 years and had been with unemployment.
I am at present 30 yrs.
My mother now takes me to a spiritual leader since last 5 years complaining about me to him. He preaches sermons about how to be a good person. He is said to have divinity in foreseeing things. There was a bad marriage and i got divorced. But that person didnt tell me about the bad girl, even if he can forsee things.
My parents take me to him all the times, and he always ignores me, says all will be good.
All the life has been torture, I feel my mother still wants to control me using spiritual man. Since I dont have any career, i cant even live my own life, I am afraid even to marry, since the last ex-wife has filed wrong cases and put me in jail to grab money.
Sometimes i feel like commiting suicide...

I think im too afraid even to commit suicide, Although i wanted to run away from home, and planned things like to get a rope hang myself as a child and even in college. I feel my destiny and fate is bad to have to undergo all these sufferings at home, in school, college. Even at job i had bad experiences, and worst i was harassed by the ex-wife for money using police. Now at 30 i am sitting at home for the last 4 years without any job........nothing could be worse than that. I wonder what would be future for me..........

Answer 1

stand up for yourself man that's when you'll start having a life

Answer 2

If your mother abused you as a child you probably need some serious psychotherapy, are u now living under her roof? if so you are enabling her to continue the abuse in an emotional way
Get out, go live on ur own, yes its hard without a job but I did it at 15 rather than put up with being beaten/raped by a parent.
There are always jobs available if your not fussy, get one, get out and get some therapy, there are help lines that can give you guidance and help.
Heres a good start, next time she says shes taking you to church/the preacher just say no. If you cant do that at 30 it shows how much she has control over you. Get help, you deserve to lead a good life, dont let her abuse continue

Answer 3

In answer to your question, Yes, your mother is trying to control you, but {may} sincerely be trying to help you straighten out some of the problems that she knowingly helped to create.
Don't ever think that "no one cares" . . . I DO!!! And there are lots of others out there that you don't even know. . .YET!
There is one way for you to become EMPOWERED to feel that YOU are in control of your own life again. I agree that you need a church family, but one of YOUR choosing! Do you get TBN on cable? Go To www.tbn.org and look around a little bit. I know some lady preachers who have been through EXACTLY! what you have. Paula White ** www.paulawhite.org/about.htm**, Joyce Meyers **www.joycemeyer.org**, and even some men: TD Jakes {www.tdjakes.org} Creflo Dollar, Myles Munroe, to name a few, could really give you a lift and help you find YOUR WAY! They each have websites, or can be found through TBN.
You are special to the Lord, hon, even if you don't realize HE KNOWS YOU BY NAME, and HE LOVES YOU! Hard to imagine?? Reach Out! He's already reaching for you!!

Answer 4

I'm really sorry for u. i think u should talk and sort out things with ur parents. they may be harsh but they surely must be loving u ( though it doesn't seem likely in ur case) but i feel it's worth a try

Answer 5

I would tell your mom nicely please stop controlling my life. I need the independece now more than ever and I wish you would stop taking me to see a spiritual leader. Maybe you and her need family counselling.
That is my advice for you good luck with your relationship with you mother.

Answer 6

possibly. Or this may be her way of trying to seek forgiveness. You won't know until you ask.