My mother takes me to a spiritual leader, after mistreating me as a child. Does she want to still control me?

Question

I stay in India.
All my childhood was passed with her beatings and abuses.
I find it difficult to talk to others. I am a very shy person. With no friends at school and college. I even skipped 5 jobs in the last 3 years and had been with unemployment.
I am at present 30 yrs.
My mother now takes me to a spiritual leader since last 5 years complaining about me to him. He preaches sermons about how to be a good person. He is said to have divinity in foreseeing things. There was a bad marriage and i got divorced. But that person didnt tell me about the bad girl, even if he can forsee things.
My parents take me to him all the times, and he always ignores me, says all will be good.
All the life has been torture, I feel my mother still wants to control me using spiritual man. Since I dont have any career, i cant even live my own life, I am afraid even to marry, since the last ex-wife has filed wrong cases and put me in jail to grab money.
Sometimes i feel like commiting suicide...

I think im too afraid even to commit suicide, Although i wanted to run away from home, and planned things like to get a rope hang myself as a child and even in college. I feel my destiny and fate is bad to have to undergo all these sufferings at home, in school, college. Even at job i had bad experiences, and worst i was harassed by the ex-wife for money using police. Now at 30 i am sitting at home for the last 4 years without any job........nothing could be worse than that. I wonder what would be future for me..........

Answer 1

Go out and get yourself a job. Stay away from your mother and the spiritual man until you can stand on your own feet. You're still depending on your mother,that's why she thinks she can still control you. If you want a life of your own,become a man first,and at the age of 30,it's way over-due

Answer 2

Honey you need to get away from her NOW! You have a life to live. You've already missed so much don't miss anymore by staying with an abusive parent. There is so much to see and do. Let go and give yourself a chance to enjoy life and have some fun. Suicide is never an answer it's a cheaters way out. I know what it's like to be with an abusive parent. My Mom was married to one for several years. It's hard to get over. Get yourself some counseling, that's mental not spiritual. The spirit will have some healing to do also but from the sound of it the fella she's taking you to is not the one to give it to you. Be strong you can do it! You'll be in my prayers hon, Good luck!

Answer 3

She may be trying to do the right thing after so many years of doing wrong...You need to get a career or any Job so you can get away and lead your own life , then you will be much happier. Just b/c you leave her does not mean you dont love her, you can still love her from a distance.
Suicide is NEVER the answer, only the end, then you shall NEVER know true happiness. Its not time for that. Seek & you shall find, just know what you are seeking!!!