A marriage between an 18 yrs old girl and a 21 yrs old guy. who only new each other 2 months before getting married spur of moment as a joke been married for a month and have a baby on the way because of forgetting protection while drunk the wedding night. How do i even get to now my husband?Do we pretend we are still dating?I am in my first year od college and feel my life is over before it got started really.
2006-09-24 02:38:19 · 15 answers · asked by Keri O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has had all this time to party and has only a year left of school!
2006-09-24 02:39:02 · update #1
I am scared to live with him because it would be like living with a stranger and both set of parents his hate me mine hate him!and we might have to live with one of our families.
2006-09-24 02:41:43 · update #2
I love him and he seems to love me but is it puppy love or real love?how do i find out which it is?
2006-09-24 02:43:11 · update #3
No not a joke i wish i could take everything i did back
2006-09-24 03:02:49 · update #4
It can work, but you better both get your heads on straight and have some serious talks. If you aren't both in it for the long run get divorced and put that baby up for adoption...then don't get involved with anyone else until you get all of your brain to work.
2006-09-24 02:41:18 · answer #1 · answered by applebetty34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first few months of any relationship are all lovey dovey......no, you most likely shouldnt' have married him, only knowing him that long. You both are so young and have so much to learn in the next few years. Whether you stay married to him is your choice....if he's out partying all the time and you are going to be left home with the baby alone all the time, you should probably just divorce. I don't know how you can say you even love him when you say if you lived with him it would be like living with a stranger. You have made some bad decisions and hopefully you will learn from them.
2006-09-24 11:06:41 · answer #2 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you dont just start out knowing someone. That takes a lifetime. There had to be some form of common bond for you to both agree to get married. Now, in a drunken haze, the baby is on the way. You cant be scared of him. You must open up the lines of communication at all cost. Allow him to become your best friend, and you work to be his also. marriage is work, everyday of the week, and then some. Focus on each other, not what your families think of each of you now. They will be happier in the long run knowing you both are working towards responsibility, and providing for this child. You can rearrange your college hours to accomodate this child-no problem. Be newlyweds. Enjoy each other, and never forget that feeling that started it all. And for gods sake-dont close the door to communication.
2006-09-24 09:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by Elly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you love him if you don't know him?
Here's my advice...seriously consider adoption. There are plenty of loving, financially stable couples out there who would cringe knowing that you're carrying a baby and it only took you one try, and that you don't even know or love the father. Many couples work so hard at having a child but it's physically impossible for them.
By finding the right adoptive family, you would be making all of their dreams come true. Also, the baby would be safe and getting the best life it can. In addition, you could figure out what you want to do with your life and stop making bad decisions. 18 years old is very young..you should really consider this. Do it for the baby.
2006-09-24 10:08:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can it work? Hmmm..... no one can answer that, not even you at this time.
I met my husband when I was 15 years old. (long story short!) We dated when I was 17, married when I was 23. After living in a small tiny studio apartment and having to work two jobs at times, and going to school. Is safe to say "WE MADE IT". Seventeen years later, we have two amazing kids, are own business, nice cars, and a great home. At the end is all "material things" that we worked so hard for to create what we thought was a "perfect marriage" There will never be perfect marriages, just "two individuals" that care enough about each other to make it WORK! Having a child young is not easy, trust me my kids are fourteen months apart. I became pregnant right after we married. I never got to finish school (college), and missed out on allot of "girls night out"; Yet looking back I can honestly say it was all worth it.
No one can tell you what will become of your marriage, you will experience all the "ups" and "downs" on your own. Beleive when I say there will be plenty of "DOWNS" then "ups". Just enjoy the moments that surround you NOW. Your husband and your child is the moment you want to experience to the fullest at this time. Everything else will follow along.
It's pretty simple......Enjoy the moment your in, do not dwell on what will become of the future. It's not going to be easy, but it will work out as long as you both want it too.
BEST OF LUCK!!!!!
2006-09-24 10:31:21 · answer #5 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got married as a joke????? A spur of the moment type thing? Now you don't think it will work out and there is a baby on the way? And you don't know how to get to know your husband?
Are you even sure the baby is his?
This must be a joke. I just can't believe two people would do this. I hope you are sitting at your monitor and just laughing your rear off at all of the silly people responding to your question.
Please, please, please tell me you are joking...
2006-09-24 09:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by JillA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a little late for regrets, it's now time for damage control.
You may want to start doing things that will help you both get to know each other.
Get to a counselor though, ya'll have alot of work ahead of you, and you will need an objective person to guide ya'll so you don't get frustrated and give up.
2006-09-24 13:26:51 · answer #7 · answered by red.cancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, Howdy!! You sure got yourself in a pickle!
Who knows, though - it might work, if you maintain your senses of humor. I would recommend doing everything in your power to keep things light, and avoid holding eachother down. Wait to combine checking accounts until you're sure you agree on financial stuff. I suppose your parents won't be paying your housing, etc., anymore? It sure would be nice if they would. If you two didn't have to worry about working while going to school and raising a kid, it would be a lot easier to get to know eachother while not being so stressed out. Good luck!
2006-09-24 09:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't take it back now. You need to make the best of it. The child deserves to have 2 parents, so get busy and do what you have to. It doesn't mean it is the end of the world to have a child.
2006-09-24 10:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would try to work it out, but if you're not able to then atleast try to be friends because there is a baby in the picture now.
2006-09-24 09:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋