Beating Mother and inconsiderate father? Do you think they know what is parenting about?

Question

My mother used to beat me up daily while I was a child. She never allowed me to play and made me to sit all the time at studies. My father was unemployed and never used to care for me. I used to be very quiet at school due to the trauma that I have undergone everyday at home. She used to wake me up at 4 in the morning everyday and beat up with scale and belt when I doze even a bit.
This continued since i had knowledge of my childhood till i was about 21 years of age.
Due to this I have become a very quiet guy, no friends at all, no play, i dont know how to play any outdoor game.

Anyway now i am 30 years of age with a a very unhappy study life at college, since i could not get with anybody. and I have failed career, with no jobs since past 5 years.

My mother now justifies her mistreatment, because her husband did not earned any money at all, and it was hard for her. Now she weeps and cries when i remind her of her mistreatment and dares not discuss this matter with anybody.

Answer 1

You poor thing! That's awful! Some people just don't deserve to be mothers! My mother would verbally and physically abuse myself and 3 sisters as well - she is an alcoholic, and everything used to get her angry - from feeding a neighbours kitten, to not going to sleep when we were told. She would lock us outside of the house at night, and treated us like slaves. I tried 27 times to commit suicide between the age of 15 and 18 Now I am older, I've tried to see beyond all the harsh treatment and see that she too was abused...but hers was sexual...she just never got over it.
I was shy too as a child, and felt that if my mother didn't love me, how could anybody else? Then I thought of how selfish I was, only thinking about myself and how I felt, so I became interested in other people, and found that if the focus was taken off myself, I felt better. Gradually I became more confident, and realised there are people who have had a much worse time than myself, and just by listening, I was able to make them feel better. So my advice to you would be not to relate any bad feelings you had as a child to the way you live your life and how you would like your future to be. Life really is wonderful, for some of us, it's just a little more difficult to seek it out.
I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

Ok first of all i would like to say that i am sorry for what you have had to endure. I was in an abusive relationship with my ex so i know a little of what you talk about. Maybe you should confide in someone you can not get anywhere if you do not trust at least one person and not your mother. Try to get a whole new make over, guys can do that too. And maybe you should call Dr. Phil he really is amazing when it comes to helping people come out of the shell they live in. I hope that things will work out for you.

Answer 3

Your question is whether they know anything about parenting? Obviously not. And it didn't look like they knew anything about marriage either. It doesn't come naturally to some people and they just jump into it anyway. There should be a course for people interested in marriage and child-rearing to pass and get a certificate in. You have to learn how to drive a car, don't you? Someone examines your driving skills and decides whether or not you are allowed to drive. It should be the same for marriage. We should EARN the right to marry, not just jump into it not knowing what we are doing.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. If you don't want to repeat your past, get some counselling and learn how to live a normal life and have a normal relationship. Good luck to you. :>

Answer 4

Im very sorry to hear what they have done to you. No they should never have kids. They are not parent material at all. And it was NO EXCUSE your mom beating you because your dad didnt work. Shes the who married him,,and they are the ones that brought you into this world. None of it is your fault. If you ever want to talk just send me a message. im 35 so im close enough in your age to understand you. Again im sorry to hear what mom did to you.

Answer 5

Your parents did you wrong but now is not the time for you to dwell on it. I am sorry for the treatment you received from them and this may sound a bit harsh but it you want to make a life for yourself you need to pull yourself up by the boot straps and get on with your life. if you do not you will never make anything of yourself. Get some counseling and do what your parents never did, help yourself!

Answer 6

How HORRIBLE. I am so sorry your life was abused like this. There is NO excuse for this behavior, and she SHOULD cry - both she and your father. I'd get counseling and try to turn your life around. If you can cut ties with those people (they aren't parents, they were AWFUL) I would. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 7

2 separate themes. Abusive men tend to decide for women individuals with vanity, particular. that is with the aid of fact women individuals with healthful vanity won't post with their crap. Abusive men additionally gravitate in direction of suitable women individuals better than non-abusive men do for some motives: first, that is indicative of a ordinary disrespect for who a woman "quite is." they do no longer care what your pastimes and evaluations are, they simply care which you seem sturdy and don't combat back. 2nd is that abusive men tend to be better in different characteristics than non-abusive men (they have a tendency to be extra suitable, richer, especially situations extra charismatic). that is often with the aid of fact they could no longer get away with being the variety of prick in the event that they have been homely, damaging and awkward. of direction, i'm conversing interior the very, very ordinary. Many abusive men are in relationships with unattractive women individuals, and many suitable women individuals have discovered happiness with non-abusive men. we are speaking a pair of small ingredient of the inhabitants right here.

Answer 8

am so sorry,,for yr,,how old were ur mother? i know that in certain cultures it's always like this though,women,blame their stress and misery on her kids,,and it;s not an xcuse,for any mother or father to vent their frustations unto their kids,, , and its worse yet,when ,they come to "apologise"and "regret" when too late,,when their kids are all grown up,whats the point now? it happens mostly in couple who has got kids young,however,its not the rule,theres exceptions,even within,older parents,this can happen too,i was married to a foreigner of different race,,migrated to his country,when i was barely 18,he was 30,we had a hard marriage,really trying and hard one,due to several factors,such a finances,,,difference of cultures,,races and all,but i never let those things stay in the way of my life,and how i treated my kids, in fact,i worked soo hard to "protect"them from their fathers abuses,,even does i was a young woman,,today it has been,,23 yrs ,,my kids are 2 boys aged 21 and 10,and 2 gals: aged 22 and 16,they still have a long way to go to,,absolve and learn in life,they are not the best kids in the world,not very caring,and compassionated as i ve been to my mom,who was a divorcee of 9 kids then,some of them grow up,already and moved on with their lifes,and 4 yet to go,she used to spank us,alright,,under stress,there were time,when i wish to run way ,,when i was 12,i was the youngester of all,but when my anger was gone,,all i felt for my mom was love,and when she calmed,down she apologised with hugs and love,,but i never talked bad about her to noone,and i always defended her when my older sis,were to talk bad about her,,i hated that,,so,,when i grew up,,i came to understand,how tough,it was for my mom,,not to have a "life"and had to fend for herself and her kids,all alone,but we had always given her our support,,by helping her in all aspects of life,and today,,i am still to come up to terms,,with my own life,and,,has thanked my mother,for all the hardships,,that she must have got with us,,,,,also i apologised to have hurted her,in the past,,and pray that she' be always ok,. pls learn how to forgive,cos ur mom is already tormented,maybe she was not smart or strong enough to come to terms with life difficulties,,forget ur past,and move forward,,and pls,,if u re to be ever a father,dont ill treat yr children,do not repeat history,good luck