husband not happy about pregnancy?

Question

I have three children, now expecting #4. My husband hasn't said a word, other then get the insurance tooken care of. I am now 7 weeks along, he hasn't even asked when I'll be due. He is totally astanged himself from me. I know he stressed, financially we are okay. How long does it take for a guy to come around. I feel totally alone in this. This was an unexpected pregnancy. And our method of b/c failed.
I just want everything to be okay. And it's clearly not. Help.
( he never acted like this with the pregnancy announcments before, he always swung me around and kissed my stomach with joy. )

He knows, he said subconciously, (yeah stupid I know!) I wanted this pregnancy., The truth? I never would impose or take it upon myself to make a huge life decisionwithout consulting him and having both parties involved and willing. I told him this. But lkike I said no response!

oh, I know he loves me very much, and divorce is not an option. I have never threw that out, even in our most heated moments. He ius in total shock,and seems super stressed, the first few days of him knowing, he looked like someone had passed, just totally out character, i just want him to come around. so i dont feel alone. I want him to be excited. but he's not. because what other option do we have, this child is coming, and I want this to be a positive experience.

Answer 1

Sometimes it takes men awhile to come around to the real fact that you're pregnant. It isn't happening to their body, so they sometimes have a hard time connecting emotionally. Just have a heart to heart with him and talk it over. Tell him your concerns. He'll come 'round.'

Answer 2

I can honestly say I know how you feel.I'm married with 2 great kids and my 3rd on the way. I found out on my 25th b-day that I was pregnant again.I was on the pill and takeing it faithfully.I'm also on Wellbutrin for manic-depression and it basicly altered the effect of my bc pill.When I found out i was pregnant I cryed and not happy tears.I was done with diapers and bottles and being up at all hours of the night with a crying baby.The worst was yet to come telling my husband.We both didnt want anymore kids.We have a 7 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl that was perfect for us. When I told him he wouldnt talk to me or even look at me.After a few weeks went by we finally set down and talked.He just was scared.Its hard raising kids, as I'm sure you know that.This is probably your husbands problem.Maybe he thought you two were done.This is just a really big shock to him.Give him some time and talk with him.Trust me you will work through this.Hes just as worried as you are.Having another baby is a big step.Congrats to you.I hope you have a happy ,healthy pregnancy.I'm due the 29th of April.Hopefully everything works out for the both of us.If you need to talk you can e-mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

He's probably just in shock. Having three children is a lot of responsibility. Any time a pregnancy is unplanned, there is shock. I know that's what happened to me when my wife told me. I felt a whole range of emotions, including anger that "she did this to me" Her birth control of choice was the rhythm method. You know what they call women who use the rhythm method----Mommy
Any way, I finally came around and accepted it. I was really hoping for a girl and then ultrasound showed it was a boy. Once again, I was upset. Then I thought, as long as he's healthy. So, I accepted it. When my wife was seven months pregnant she had complications and was rushed to E.R. The baby was delivered via C-Section and placed in Neonatal ICU. He weighed less than four pounds. I was devastated. Unfortunately, I also worked at this hospital and when I asked too many questions or complained about my wife and baby's treatment, they eventually got rid of me, so I lost my job. When the baby was released, he had to have an apnea monitor because he briefly stopped breathing many times a day. After ten days home, and his monitor alarm sounding numerous times per day, he stopped breathing and I had a hard time reviving him. We took him to another hospital where he spent an additional month in NICU. Finally, we got to take him home and he is a fairly healthy three year old now.
I didn't want this baby! I didn't want a boy! I didn't want him to spend two months in NICU! I didn't want to lose my job and ruin my credit! and you know what else!!!

I wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world!!! I love my son and my wife more than anything. I absolutely love them more and more every single day!!!!!!!! Despite everything that happened I am happier than ever before and I thank God every day for my wonderful and beautiful wife and child!!!!

Don't worry. Your husband will come around. Everything will be O.K. just don't push him.
Good luck. I hope this helps you.

Answer 4

To take care of yourself, I would try to spend some time with female friends or family that can maybe give you the support that your husband cannot at the moment. Talk to them about what's happening with him, and let them be happy for you in his stead. I'd give him a little time, then approach the subject. Tell him that you've noticed he doesn't seem to be excited, and let him know that you'd like to hear what's on his mind, and what concerns he has. But here's the thing - don't try to talk to him until you really ARE ready to hear his concerns. You gotta get yourself to a point where you're not gonna get upset if he's honest with you (maybe you're there right now). Chances are good he's afraid to tell you what's on his mind because he's concerned about your reaction. Only you know your relationship...try to put yourself in his head, and play this out accordingly.

Answer 5

I am 14wks pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy and my partner has not been as estranged as it sounds like your husband has been he has been less than excited and I think it is because he is trying to figure out in his head what to do....finances, moving, insurance...etc. I am starting to get a little bit of a bump and he finally said that he was getting excited to become a dad..so maybe he just has some things to work thru??good luck

Answer 6

i think he knows its half his fault, and while inside he wants to scold you for having another one when you didnt need to, he doesnt know what else to do. i think he's spent in the "brand new baby" department, and doesnt really want to tell you about it, or he doesnt exactly know how to tell you about it.

i'm very outspoken, but this is what i would do. i'd wait until you were both sitting down together, and say "i'm not trying to disrespect you, or get in a fight, or anything. i just really want to know, do you want a divorce? its just lately, you avoid me like the plague, and i cant understand why you would want to hate the beautiful thing growing inside me. i hope your not throwing a fit hoping i'll get an abortion, because i really dont see myself going there." maybe he'll say he's afraid it will never stop happening. maybe he has this vision in his head of him trying to take care of 26 kids when he's 75 years old. (i guess that would make me scared too)
have you tried depo provera? i've been on it since 2001, its been really great. i had irregular menstrual cycles all through my adolescence, and when i started taking depo provera, i havent seen a menstrual cycle since. its so nice (plus i save $$ on feminine hygiene)

Answer 7

In the first place you better hope the insurance is already taken care of. None that I know of cover pre-existing conditions including pregnancy. Your husband will have to get over it. Another baby is on the way and you didn't get pregnant without his help.

Answer 8

Wow.. Sorry you have to deal with this.
But, your best bet is to sit him down and talk to him. This isn't going away and you need to get him to open up about it.

Find out what is worrying him.Maybe he is just afraid something will go wrong this time.

Good Luck, hope everything gets better for you soon.

Answer 9

He may think it isn't his or that he's stuck with a baby machine. Talk to him, discuss the options and agree that when this baby is born you will have the dr. do a tubal so you can never get pregnant again.

Answer 10

Have a long sit down and chat with him, make sure he knows it was unexpected and not you doing something to make the bc fail, he'll come round