Should I send husband back?

Question

Asked a question earlier on sim. topic. My husband is Korean who came to the U.S for me 5 months ago. He's having adjust problems big time. 4 days ago he got mad at me because I was late meeting him somewhere. Since then he has not spoken to me. He resorted to throwing out all our condoms, blocking bedroom door, so I can't get in, and now he's getting drunk. I can't take his crap. I step on eggshells and talk to him calmly but he just glares at me and won't speak.
Now I know what it feels like to have culture shock. I lived in Korea for 3 year and had bad days to. But I never treated my husband the way he's treating me. If he keeps it up any longer, I want him to go back. I try everything to make his stay here good. Enroll him in English and gym classes. He doesn't work; I'm sole provider (even in Korea, he didn't work. I did). Should I send him back and do a trial separation? He told me he wants to go back. We've been married just a year and have no kids. Get out now?

Also we haven't even slept in the same bed for 4 days. I also don't want to go back to Korea. I think its only fair he gives the U.S a chance, since I stood in Korea so long for him. I am starting to realize I screwed up getting married :(

Answer 1

While reading this, I couldn't help but wonder what your nationality was.
If it isn't Korean, why were you the sole provider for the family while you were in Korea? From what I’ve read so far, it seems as if your husband is a bit lazy and has become more of a leech rather than a husband. Furthermore, He is walking down a very dark road when resorting to alcohol to solve his problems. A possible reason for his behavior may be due to his wish to return to Korea. But that does not justify avoiding contact with your wife for more then half a week.

Putting that aside, I think it’s time to file for a divorce and send him back. It seems that you really care for him but that feeling is not reciprocated. End it now before things become more complicated.

On another note, I don’t believe that this is culture shock. This is just personal problem. My father immigrated from Korea when he was in his early 30's. He did not speak a word of English but he managed to become a apprentice for a Air Conditioner & Heater Service man and now he is self-employed in the same trade.

Answer 2

I think he has been hurting himself.

Leave him alone for a while and try to find out what really upset him. It may be something you do not know which hurt him seriously.

But if he did not work even in Korea seems to me huge problems for your future.

So, decide if he works or not for the family. Most Korean Male works first day they arrived in the US even though they don't speak any English.

Answer 3

Culture shock is one thing but it sounds like he's very selfish and only thinks for himself. If he really wanted this marriage to work, he would do his best to adapt but as it stands, he wants to go back to his country. Well, the only thing I can say is, let him go and move on. It's not too late yet and it's a good thing u don't have kids yet.

Answer 4

1

Answer 5

i would sincerely say yes let him go back,he has issues and you deserve better,if there is no resolution soon that would be best for you.you have done all the work and got ,and asked nothing but love and kindness and not received it.

Answer 6

Probably it is better now then latter, send him back! He has obviously to many bad habits,

Answer 7

yes

Answer 8

This is a no brainer. Send him back...Now!

Answer 9

marriage is a lifetime committment.
fasten you seatbelt, and work it out

Answer 10

Pack his bags and send him packing..