i have dated this girl for awhile(months) and well i did something wrong (not cheating or anything like that) but i failed to keep a promise and lied at the same time and she just said that she didn't feel sure if we should keep dating and then told me we both needed some time apart and its already been over a month and she hasn't said anything about going back together. We were very perfect together until i screwed up. And just a few week ago she said that wether or not we do go back together she still wants us to keep our plans for the future, she tells me she loves me but i just feel like she doesn't nothing is the same i try to prove to her that i love her so much and that im sorry for what i did and do all these thing for her and im very confused can someone please help? email me if you need more details about this or didn't understand this
2006-09-23 18:29:20 · 8 answers · asked by Are you There at All... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
everyday i talk to her, i make her feel happy when she is feeling down and tell her i love her EVERY SINGLE DAY and she still says she loves me too but im afraid she is just saying that and that she might be seeing someone else i just HATE the thought of that and after everything we did together the promises i don't know i am so confused with all these thoughts
2006-09-23 18:39:15 · update #1
relationships need to have a foundation in trust, you broke that when you lied. you will have to earn back that trust and that takes time. it sounds like she has forgiven you but will not go back to dating you until she is sure you are trustworthy. dont forget, she will be watching you to see if you violate trust with others ... good luck, its a life altering lesson.
2006-09-23 18:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Again i ask this question all the time How old are you and how long have you dated her.? If you are under 18 then this is my advice. Not being honest is a bad thing sometimes but we have a tendence to try and protect the ones that we love from the truth if we think that it will hurt them. Why does she want to stay apart from you but wants you 2 to keep future plans. that does not make since to me. I say move on and if she comes back then you can make a decision at that time. If not you would not have wasted any time waiting on her. She has some choices to make and she needs to know that you are not going to stand by and wait alone while she plays.
If you are under 18 then you should just move on. Love is something that you truely have not discorved yet. What you feel is something like love but not quiet yet.
2006-09-24 01:36:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You screwed up , yes. But everyone deserves at least another chance. Especially from someone who claims to 'love' you.
Of course if this isn't your first time screwing up, then she has a point of not wanting to be with a repeat offender.
Another option is she just likes having you wrapped around her little finger and wants you to chase after her. Constantly begging her for forgiveness. It's a way of controlling and manipulating someone by bringing up an unfortunate deed they had done in the past. This is done in order to manifest the feelings of guilt and inadequacy, which in turn gives her greater control over a situation, and your decision making process at that moment. And from your post honey, sounds like she's doing a pretty good job of it too.
Good luck. Hope everything works out.
2006-09-24 01:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
headgames...oh the joys of dating...anyways...if u didn't cheat, what did u do?go to a strip club?! If she's that finicky now about the "rules" of ur relationship...it's only gonna get worse as the years go by...don't give up on her if u feel she's worth hanging onto...but don't stop living while u wait for her to make up her mind for u. She's probably just playing the little head games "he should fight for me"; if she's that insecure now, ur just gonna be feeding it and she''ll constantly play those games with u...honestly not worth the trouble...if it's love, ur in trouble! Plus if it's been a month and she hasn't even talked to u about hooking up...she probably won't come back...sorry...and besides u shouldn't have to prove ur love to her...she'll just keep wanting more from you if & when u get back together...and she'd just throw it in ur face (whatever u lied to her about) anytime she can! Yes girls can be very unforgiving!;)
2006-09-24 01:43:12 · answer #4 · answered by drcil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's is terrible thing when you trust someone and that trust is betrayed. It's the worst feeling.
She feels now that she can't trust you, and I can see why.
If you really care about her, you will tell her that you realize you violated her trust in you and you know how bad that is. And that you love her so much(If you do) that you will prove to her over time that she can now trust you. Then you go on never to do anything to make ANYONE distrust you.
In time she might see you are sincere and be able to trust again, or maybe not. But you have at least tried.
Don't ever violate anyone's trust again.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-24 01:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by a_phantoms_rose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is normal...unfortunately. most guys cannot keep all promises while in their prime, sexually. especially in the beginning. it's a woman's perogative to change her mind. guys can leave. woman bear the burden. and BELIEVE me! it is very hard for a woman to call the shots. it feels really good for us too! but it's our bodies that carry the load if our minds screw up. and the guilt isnt so hot either. will the guy keep liking me if i dont give in fast enough??? what if the slut next door puts out and i don't fulfill my man? what if my breasts arent as good as his last girlfriend's? what if my parents ever found out? what if i get caught? what if he ends up mad and ratts me out all over school about what we do or dont do? ...so much more garbage than guys i think. but, if u play, u take the chances. but, since u are concerned, this an excellent start for relationships. keep up trying to contact her. 2-3 times a week should be good. don't over-do it! she will take u 4 granted the more u try. but, if u r persistent, WHILE respecting her space, she will know u care enough to toe the line. that scores MAJOR POINTS! good luck!
2006-09-24 01:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by burntvalentine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you admit screwing up is a good start. I think you are being a bit sensitive if she says she loves you you have no reason to distrust after all it's you that screwed up not her. As long as she allows you a slot in her life there is a chance you two will patch it up just remember the ultimate apology comes in a little blue box and is very worth it. Good Luck.
2006-09-24 01:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by Katlynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think she is trying to dish out a little pay back, with a the cold shoulder and lack of attention, she may even be seeing somone else. I would just be aware of that but sill try to win her back, but keep ur heart in arms reach in case she really is with omeone else
2006-09-24 01:33:16 · answer #8 · answered by lamikashi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋