i am married my husband and i have been split up for 3 months now and he is seeing another girl now, he say he still loves me and he is not over me,but he dont want me back,he told me not to wait on him.We have 4 kids togather and he only comes around once a month and stays for about 20 mins, this is tearing my 3 yr old apart and his daddy knows this.he acts like he loves and misses us so much when he is around but then when he leaves its like he dont think about us.i cant seem to get over him ,i am upset all the time i am trying to be strong for my kids but how can i be strong when i still love him very much, please help.i dont know what to do
2006-09-23 17:54:41 · 11 answers · asked by mother of 4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Time to let go. He says he loves you, but he is only trying to let you down easy. I'm sure he cares but he has someone else and thats the real answer.
2006-09-23 18:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by sacharose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully if your husband has told you that he has had someone else then it's alot more serious with her than he's told you cuz he's only gonna tell you a very small portion of his other life until the divorce. He obviously is just having you hold on cuz he might be afraid of child support and thinks that if he continues to tell you that he loves you, that you'll love him enough to not wanna hurt him in court and make it so he doesn't have to pay much child support. This is actually guys biggest hidden secret, they leave the wife, string them along thru the divorce with all that I still love you sh*t cuz women will believe it and then once the paper work is done and they only have to pay $100 a month instead of $500 they dip out all together. just be careful and don't let your guard down when it comes to him having to pay child support for your kids cuz think about it, the money is for your children not for you or for him, your children deserve the same lifestyle with him there or with him gone. I say this cuz I think it stinks when men don't take care of what's theirs. I love my wifey and our son and would never want my son to go without a thing
2006-09-24 01:02:29 · answer #2 · answered by MexiShortieHubby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i am confused about is why didnt he just file a divorce? Of course its going to upset you, you are married to him, any woman looking at him sexually should get you mad. It's rude how it seems like he is so much better than you, but really he is like a piece of dirt and you are the flower. Be the stronger person follow through with it and maybe he will realize what he is missing out on and come back. But it's not garaunteed.
2006-09-24 01:00:47 · answer #3 · answered by xCrazY4hImx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell from reading your post you are really upset and torn apart over this whole mess. It seems to me from what you said he told you about not waiting for him and he doesnt want you back.....that you need file for divorce and let him go.
First off let me ask you this.....does it make any sense for him to tell you he loves you but wants to be with this other woman? Honey, if he loves you then he wouldnt want to be with anyone else he would be trying to fix his marriage. But his words speak for themselves.....he isnt interested in working on his marriage and probably wont ever be.
The best thing you could do for yourself and your 3 year old is file for divorce and move on with your lives......It wont be easy I know, but look at it this way.....in the long run you will be so much better off...why waste your time, energy and days being hurt and upset over this man...he isnt worth it.
You deserve so much better.......a man that loves you and wants to be with you forever and will love your child as his own, a man that will love, honor, respect, be honest with you, and make you feel like a queen......yes, there are men like this but ya got to look really hard for them and one day when you least expect it God will place a man like that into you life.
I wish you the best of luck in this situation and will be praying for you and your little one.
2006-09-24 01:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by wendyceline2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing you can do is move on. your heart will heal in time and as for the children you need to sit with him and tell him there has to be a better visitation situation made for them and you should find a way to agree to sit together and discuss things with the kids on a level that they will understand. he has already moved on and it is time for you to do the same. in time you will see it is best for all of you. do not let him come in and out with the kids the way he has make him be a man and be a father and care for them as he should he doesn't have to be with you to do what is right and deserved by your children. have him pick the kids up take them for weekends and bring them back or at least once a week or so. sounds to me like the kids visits have been a way for you to keep contact with him and that may be putting a strain on his relationship with the kids because he may not want to deal with you. have him spend alone time with the kids as much as it may hurt you it will benefit the kids to have their relationship with their father.
2006-09-24 01:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by njredgrl32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love him, you must have the power of wife to make him know you love him, he told you not to wait on him - but you should speak loud to him that - darling, I am a one man woman, I cannot live without you, now I let you adventure for fun, and I will wait for you forever
2006-09-24 01:04:03 · answer #6 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do as he says......don't wait on him. file for divorce, hit him for child support, alimony, serarate maintainance, and half of the savings, etc. get on w/ your life, love your kids, and when daddy visits, don't act upset when he leaves.. if he still loves you, he will come around, but even then, you'll have to be tough if you want to keep him. and if he doesn't come around, take care of you and remember the best revenge is to live well.
2006-09-24 01:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by Sylvia H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of man can walk away from four kids?
The wrong kind of man ~ I have sympathy for you and pity for his new version of, well, whatever.
Tell him the kids are his, they can stay at his house from now on -- he can't walk away!
Grrrr.
2006-09-24 01:02:02 · answer #8 · answered by wrathofkublakhan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might have to hit bottom before bouncing back.
File for divorce get over it as quick as you can, you have a new life waiting for you, make it a happy one ; )
2006-09-24 01:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by nomno13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
file for divorce you are already split and he has someone else. break it off already he is doing no one any favors by not signing.
2006-09-24 00:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋